Juked the Gatekeeper

Bwaha! The topic of this writing just made me think of something funny. If you're reading this right now, you may have come from the last story in which I mentioned a full time job that I had "outgrown."

Well,

while I was 'outgrowing' it, other people were apparently taking it very seriously. I remember one morning seeing a man waiting outside the office to do an interview—dressed in a whole tuxedo like he was about to meet his bride!

I looked at him and thought to myself,

"He hasn't applied for a job in a long time." If he had, he would have known that the occasion didn't call for his prom outfit. You know what I wore to my interview? A micro mesh shirt from 21Men—and they pleaded for me to accept the position!

But I gotta' admit, it's easy to get rusty when it comes to interviews. If you have enough sense to stay employed at your jobs, you might go YEARS without having to do them.

I'm pretty good at the game of getting a call back, but I'd be lying if I said I always get the gig. I've even said to myself that some interviews I've been on were merely "practice rounds" from the universe.

Although I don't have many regrets about how I represent myself, it's only natural to reevaluate your performance when shit doesn't go as planned. However, you'd be surprised at how many rejections are based on details outside of YOU.

At least that's how I felt this last go-round. This year, I walked into rooms more put together and more decisive than ever only to realize that the biggest obstacle sometimes is the one making the decisions.

It took me 5 weeks and 7 interviews to strike gold, and I'm about to share what I actively learned and applied before watching my wisdom manifest a result in real time. Listen up, chumps!

1 — Take Note of Poor Execution

June last year,

I drove to an interview and ended up at the wrong location. On my way back, I get a call from the people waiting to see me. They'd heard about what happened.

I asked them if it was better for me to (a) arrive late or (b) postpone altogether. Their response? "We can do it right here on the phone!" They reassured me that it wouldn't affect the outcome, so I didn't object.

Within days, I receive the "thank you for your interest" email. Whatever. Ya' win some, ya' lose some! Luckily, I had other interviews in the pipeline and started work elsewhere 12 days later.

Fast forward eight and a half months, that job isn't paying like I'd hoped. Before I knew it, I was right back on an interview marathon. This time, walking into restaurants and not retailers.

One morning, I arrive to my interview feeling good about the atmosphere. I thought to myself how nice it was in the area, how yummy it smelled in the building, and how dope it would be to work in this environment—I was ready to do my thing!

My only issue was the lack of seats. The lobby was so loud and crowded, I thought surely there would be a calm place for us to conduct the interview.

Nope! This lady came out and plopped right down in the middle of the madness. "We'll just do this right here," she said. My worst fear had came true. She should have just walked out holding a red flag in her hand.

After a few vague questions, she sent me on my way with deceitful delight, pretending as if she was going to do this, that, and the other. My blood boiled. I was in the car fuming. The setup of the interview had turned me off from the very beginning. I was hardly able to make an impression.

After venting to myself in the car for long enough, I realized that this wasn't my first time feeling this way. Where had I experienced this frustration before? Then it clicked. "That damn phone interview!" I thought.

It only took two similar experiences for me to easily connect the dots. Thus, a new attitude was born and wisdom was gained. That week, I jotted this down in my personal notes:

"Pay attention to poor execution. In any circumstance where something is being done poorly or improperly, the mission may be to simply get it out of the way. More importantly, in cases where you are the object, it is YOU that is being gotten out of the way."

"Whether for reasons good or unfair, people can make judgements with lightning quickness; Quickness that turns a due process into merely a masquerade. You must do yourself the favor of identifying this masquerade and cutting the show SHORT."

In other words, when that man told me he was willing to do the interview over the phone, I should have just hung up in his face. He either already chose someone or simply made assumptions about me based on the sound of my voice.

As for both instances, in the future I'll be careful not to say a word until all conditions are favorable.

Speaking of which, let's get to the next point.

2 — Secure Your Stage

Exactly a week later (literally seven days), I had another interview. It happened to be at a restaurant again, so I knew the chances of a loud room were likely. What I also knew is that I wouldn't be interviewed in such a scene, whether the person in charge liked it or NOT. I was fully prepared to walk out if someone protested me.

I'm the muthafuckin' boss today.

After what I'd gone through with the two individuals in the last section, I refused to accept any disadvantages. I was determined to have the space and the setting I needed to communicate comfortably.

I walked into the building and, once again, there's rumbles of conversation and kitchen noise surrounding me. I looked all over for a quiet spot and the only thing I could think of was the patio seating outside. It would have to do.

As soon as the manager approached me and pulled out her chair, I stopped her. "Can we take this out there?" I asked, pointing to the patio. She was smart to comply.

Lo and behold, the interview went well. I wasn't distracted nor frustrated, and my mind wasn't clouded by unwanted company. I scored a second interview, and both of us left the meeting in good spirits.

I ended up turning that role down, but the experience is a testament to what can be accomplished when one doesn't just "go with the flow." Sometimes you have to be particular about the circumstances under which you perform. Otherwise, you may as well throw in the towel or commit to a life of wasted time.

But I will warn you: Taking control can cause frustration in others. There was one other factor in that interview that may have risked everything, and I'm happy to elaborate with my next point.

3 — Acknowledge Attitudes

Continuing on the previous tale,

I have to add that it wasn't all peaches when we reached the patio. This lady suddenly had a long face like something had made her upset. She also made it a point to have her hand guarding her face as if the sun was just too damn bright that day.

Girl, please.

I fully recognized this body language to be bitter passive aggression: A burden that often follows those of us who are assertive. (And I say that with no intention to boast.) Nonetheless, I was smarter than to let it go unaddressed.

"Are you okay? Did you want to switch sides with me?" I generously asked. Keep in mind, I'm perfectly aware that this woman is exaggerating. She just wants my suggestion to seem like a bad one. How about this? I'll flip it into an opportunity to show sympathy.

Fortunately for me, this moment related to a lesson I learned seasons and seasons ago on a different job search: Identify opportunities to reassure the employer.

In the past, I often made the mistake of relying on things to just be understood. For example: If I trot into the interview, with a long neck and spots, then surely you must KNOW I'm a Giraffe. Please don't make me spell it out.

As soon as the hiring manager says "we're looking for mammals native to Africa", I'm not saying anything other than "okay, great!"

Explaining myself has never really been my thing, but I've come to learn it may be essential during a face to face. Not only do you have to sell yourself as a good choice, but you have to be able to notice when the interviewer is giving you a chance to do so.

But it doesn't stop there! In addition to openings in the dialogue, you must also identify any shifts in energy. If a smile suddenly disappears or turns to a pout, then you probably want to retrace your steps and figure out the trigger. These little details will tell you when something you said or did was off-putting or misunderstood.

Don't just notice it, act on it dammit.

To all the guys like me out there who don't give a damn about a person having an attitude in real life, it's important to remember that we're talking about getting to the bread. In a situation where future paychecks are involved, you gotta' be emotionally intelligent to play the freakin' game!

Last, but not least...

Please keep in mind that the employer is scared of rejection too.

Sometimes the reason you didn't get the job is simply because you didn't want it. Little did you know, the person looking to hire you could smell it from a mile away.

The people in charge are not always as strong as they appear. In some cases, their decisions have nothing to do with how you look, what experience you have, or anything you even said.

It all boils down to a fear they harbor deep inside: If they give it to you, you'll say no. If they give it to you, you'll quit. Sometimes the interviewer is simply matching your energy. It's the very reason that you can find yourself getting rejected by jobs you're perfectly equipped or even too good for.

It kinda' reminds you that everyone is human and that sometimes the intimidating one is YOU. To think, coming off too well rounded or ambitious could actually be shooting yourself in the foot. You gotta' make the gatekeeper understand that you're here to stay.

Before you go,

I want to remind you that such priceless counsel was tested and proven before ever being published. Literally.

The position I'm in now is the same one denied to me from the lady in the loud lobby. Yup! I went across town with a whole new game face and took the treasure I was owed. Unfortunately for her, my mind was made on where I wanted to be.

Imagine being denied access by one guard just to go back and sidestep the other; I juked the gatekeeper.

Come to think of it, I've done that twice in my life. It just goes to show that no person in any position can truly make a measure of your worth. It's what you believe about yourself that will ultimately fuel your hustle. When you have knowledge and determination, the people standing at the front lines are practically just there for decoration.