It's Not a Real Job

Traditionally, women did not work outside the home. Wives took care of the children and home. The men would go out to their offices or manual labour and slave away at their 40 hour weeks. Well, that's how suburbian life is portrayed in the movies. The reality of it all is drastically different. There are no 'normal' these days. People work from home, abroad, or where ever they can pick up a job. I'm working right now, writing this article. The point is, there is no right or wrong in how we do our jobs.

There is still a stigma on the stay at home Mom or Dad. Honestly, though, if someone paid me for my work, money would not be an issue. Paying taxes, on the other hand, would kill me. So, in this article, I will take you through the day of a stay at home mom who works as well.

Carer

First of all, my official job is as a Carer. My middle son is Autistic and Diabetic. He needs full-time care. I can not have a 'real' job outside the home because I am on call 24–7. As a carer, I have to be ready to do anything and everything as needed. The average pay for a professional carer in the UK is £24,449.00 per year.

https://www.totaljobs.com/salary-checker/average-carer-salary

As a full-time carer for my son, I received £67.60 per week. That's a paltry £3,515.20 A year. Common sense says it would be better for me to go out and work, but unfortunately, you can only make £128.00 a week after deductions as a carer. You are also not allowed to be in full-time education-a little discrimination for fun.

https://www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/money-legal/benefits-entitlements/carers-allowance/

If the person you care for goes into hospital and their stay is arranged by the NHS, payment of their qualifying…www.ageuk.org.uk

£24,449.00

£3,515.20 

£20,983.8

As you can see, that is an almost staggering £21k pay difference.

Now for my other jobs.

Housekeeper:

This is never-ending work. When you have three children plus animals (sometimes it is hard to tell which is which), you can start cleaning when you wake up until you go to bed. So, it really is a never-ending cycle. The average pay for a housekeeper is £8.66 an hour. So, if you say you work on average four hours a day doing housework, cooking, etc., that is £12,608.96 a year. But, of course, we all know that house people, wives or husbands do not get paid for that work.

Housekeeper Hourly Pay in United Kingdom | PayScale

The primary duties of a housekeeper are to clean and maintain their designated work area. This work area will vary from…www.payscale.com

I work with children and animals, both small and large. Okay, it's by choice, but one would hope that we would get to chose our careers in life. I trained our dog, Belle, who is a labrador, to be an emotional support animal. The reason I trained her is that we were not eligible for help through charities.

Instead, we bought Belle as a 12-week old puppy, and I trained her. Her job is to be exceptionally well behaved at all times and to give love whenever it is needed. For example, sometimes my ASD child needs a cuddle, and she gives him what he needs then comes back to me. It is how I trained Belle to suit his needs. She is to be there only when he needs her and not all the time. So, training her myself was worth the effort.

I'm also a horse trainer. In no way am I a professional, but if we are talking about work, this is truly a labour of love. I have an eight-year-old ex-racehorse called Warren. His racing name is Noble Warrior, and he is a beautiful animal. When I bought Warren in October, he was a shell of the animal he is now. The first thing I learned about him was he could not stand. Racehorses do not know how to stand, even to be mounted. (Standing mean standing still in one spot.)

He also could not do anything other than run in a straight line and jump. Over the past six months, I have taught him how to be a horse and not a machine. He has learned manners and how to stand and be groomed. He has learned how to lunge by voice command only. Warren can walk, trot and canter without the use of whips or crops. He has also reached the point of stopping and standing when asked. There are miles worth of work to do, but that is a fantastic amount of progress in only six months. The cost of sending him off to have that done professionally is insane. There is also the worry that you do not know what the professional breakers are doing to the animal. The horse world is not a nice place.

On top of that, I am a student. I have been enrolled in the Open University for over four years now and entering my fifth. It goes back to the part-time studying limit. I have a long term plan! The idea is that I will eventually obtain my Doctorate and lecture at the university level. By this time, my husband will be ready for retirement, and he can become the primary carer for our son.

I do have a headstart on teaching. Thanks to Covid, and lockdown, all parents have learned to be homeschool teachers. Thankfully, our school was able to work out zoom meetings, and it helped immensely. In the past, I have worked as an SEN TA. I loved the work, but honestly, you couldn't pay me enough to teach my kids willingly. There is something that makes it impossible to be a level headed, empathic teacher when it comes to your own children. You reach that point of saying, F**K it much faster.

Finally, there is my actual job. The one I do from home, or where ever I can hide away and type. I am a writer. Oh, I am no Austen or Wolfe; I'm not even an E.L. James. However, I have written several steamy Reverse Harem novels as well as children books. I like to write in a wide range of genres. Writing is my passion, and even though it's not the best-paid work in the world yet, I'm working on it. It will never be just a side hustle for me; it's the keeper of my sanity and therapy all rolled into one. One day, more than a few hundred people will know my name. I don't write for fame and money; art doesn't work that way. However, it helps tremendously. Every artist wants recognition for the work they put in, no matter their medium.

Overall, a day in the life of J.B. Miller consists of

• Carer
• Housekeeper
• Accountant
• Handyman/Decorator
• Psychologist (For both animals and children)
• Trainer
• Student
• Teacher
• Taxi Driver
• Writer/Author
• Graphic Designer
• Artist
• Publisher
• and multiple more I've forgotten.

While my job is severely underpaid, I wouldn't change it for the world. I'm sure I'm not the only one in this profession of house person and remote worker that wished they were paid their value, but as my southern mother used to say, if you s**t in one hand and wished in the other, which would fill up faster?

You have got to love Southern sayings. They are as inventive as they are brash.