Introducing Myself

I am Katarina Tolkmit, and I used to work as a fashion designer for a brand in Upper Austria over the last 14 Years.

That was a very long time; it was like quitting a long lasting relationship, but at the end I am very happy that it is over now. So many great new things are happening to me, and I can live out more and more all my other potentials. The last two and a half years in this company were a really up and down rollercoaster ride with lots of emotional up and downs.

I always knew I was more than just the fashion designer for a fashion brand. It's just me who always was going further, destroying myself, rather than building myself up in a different way, in a new way. Inventing a new person, a new me who tries out new things, learns new things. I always learn a lot from crises, coming back even stronger, knowing even more who I am and what I want.

But still, in the stage I am right now, building up my own business, really knowing that I want to go this way, there are so many fears, so many insecure points, that I need a lot of time for myself to inhale, exhale, to concentrate and focus on myself.

Six years ago, I started part time my own business, with my own label. Unfortunately I really practiced it out very partly, because of my 40 hour fashion designer job. I am specialized here on custom made dirndl, evening gowns, and pole outfits. Feeling constantly torn into little pieces, I was fighting for over two years to reduce my working hours down to 34 hours per week. After two years of struggle, I finally got it because the company was not running as well as it used to be, so then it was just convenient. Since then I've been working on the pole outfits in design, fabric quality, and fitting. Finally the orders are coming in more often, but there is still a lot potential left in order to gain the right salary out of it. But money is not everything, it is more that I want to create loved pieces special made for each customer—customers who want a slowly produced piece which is fairly produced, and who are believing in slowing down our lifestyle.

Three years ago, when I figured out that my future will not last forever in this company, I started with the education as a Pole Instructor. I was always very sporty and loved to dance. Dancing ballet for over nine years and working out in a gym for over 14 years, pole dancing was just a conclusion for me. I missed the dancing in the gym. I knew if I would just go back to, ballet, it would not be enough of a workout for me, so I started pole dancing six years ago. From the very beginning, I fell in love with it. It was just the right creative addition to my creative job as a fashion designer. From the very beginning I knew I would teach it; I knew I wanted to get other women and men addicted to it, and wanted to be a motivator for them in order to stick to it.

For me, it is so much more than just dancing or working out. It helped me to bear the very hard, tough time in the company. It helped me to stay positive and mostly happy with my life. Teaching the girls gave me so much energy at the time and still does. It is, for me, like the blood of my life, to push myself to keep on going, to get to know more about it, more tricks, more moves, and more dancing. It is my task to develop the others' femininity and my own femininity as well. I love to see the progress of my students, when they get back their feminine soft part. (I will write about that more later on.)

Last year, I got in touch about modeling in a TFP shoot and I just started to love it. Standing in front of the camera, posing, smiling is just my world. Trying to perform different moods, feeling into different roles, and working on different looks just fascinated me so much that I do it now at least once a month. It helps me also to try to show myself, to present myself more to the outside. It helps me also to get a better stage performance for pole competitions, as well as presenting myself.

At the beginning of this year, I started to get to know network marketing. I am only at the beginning, but if you get the idea of what's behind it, then it is a really awesome way to earn your money. I believe in this system, and I believe that you can reach financial freedom with it. Unfortunately there are still so many people who are so suspicious towards this business. If they would more listen to it what's behind the system they would recognize that it is great way to support each other and to get out the most of each other. Since I am dealing with network marketing, my thinking has completely been changed. I do not believe in rivalry, I believe in cooperation, in working together and helping each other no matter what kind of business you do. Also if you are in the same branch, in the same business. (I will get deeper into this topic with one of the next posts.)

Because of getting fired (yes I got fired. I did not quit myself, but I was already working on it. My ex boss was faster than me. I felt so relieved by it.) I had the opportunity to work as a background actress at the "Salzburger Festspiele" in the Oper Medee by Simon Stone. It was such a blast working with such a visionary and talented director. For me it was the best summer for ages, I got to know myself from a very other side. I knew somewhere inside myself there is that little actress which loves to present herself on stage. I've been seen by over 2,000 audiences. It helped me a lot to figure even more that I am more than just the fashion designer or the pole dancer; I am an artist somehow. An artist in my own world, my own life who just wants to motivate other people to be themselves, to inspire people even more to try out different things in oder to get out the best of themself.

Always keep on working on yourself.