I Was Sure Fair Managers Reward the Best. Then I Became One.

Last Wednesday afternoon, the Outstanding Individual recommendation form sat on my desk. Four names. Two slots. Xiao Zhou and Xiao Li had overtime records in DingTalk. Lao Chen and Lao Zhao had logistics ledgers in the cabinet. I picked up a pen and set it down again.

Xiao Zhou knocked. “Director, I finished the material for tonight.” His eyes were red. The corner of his keyboard cover had peeled up. Xiao Li stood by the copier, swallowing a stomach pill with the last of her water. Lao Chen mopped the hallway. He wrung the mop until it was almost dry. Lao Zhao changed the water for the plant on the windowsill. “You two are busy,” he said. “We’ll handle these things.”

The recommendation meeting lasted ten minutes. I said the Outstanding Individual slots should go to Xiao Zhou and Xiao Li. Lao Chen said nothing. He tightened the lid on his thermos. Lao Zhao smiled. “Of course. Young people should charge ahead.” Then he looked down at his newspaper. The list was right. The room got colder.

I went to my leader about a union recuperation slot. One slot. In past years, nobody had fought for it. I said Lao Chen and Lao Zhao had long service, poor health, and a clean logistics record. The slot was approved. I put the notice on the bulletin board. Lao Chen stood in front of it for a long time. “This is for me?” he asked. “Union recuperation,” I said. “Go get a checkup.” He folded the notice and put it in his pocket. That afternoon, his mop moved easier.

Muddling through does not fix everything. Last month, Lao Zhao missed an inspection log entry on night shift. The rule docked his monthly performance pay. He came to me and said he was old and forgetful. “The log was missed,” I said. “The rule stands. It’s docked. If you’re not feeling well, I’ll change your shift.” He nodded. Xiao Zhou submitted a taxi reimbursement with a personal receipt inside. I sent it back. At the meeting, I did not name him. I said, “Reimbursements follow the rules.” His face turned red. He did not do it again.

The young people want honors, growth, promotion. The older comrades want respect, dignity, a lighter load. One ruler makes the young win and the old go cold. Equal shares make the young leave and the old stay. A middle manager cannot only cut the cake. He has to find more cake. I fought for two Outstanding Individual slots. I fought for one recuperation slot. I created a mentorship award. I submitted a logistics support award. The people who charge should get light. The people who hold the fort should get warmth.

People ask whether this is clear reward and punishment or muddling through. On principle, reward and punishment must be clear. Safety, discipline, integrity, performance: cross those, and you get hit. Off principle, balance is allowed. Welfare, scheduling, recuperation, small honors can tilt, but the reason has to be speakable. In public, talk about rules. In private, talk about difficulties. Don’t make people guess. Don’t make people make a scene.

The hardest part of this job is that you cannot only divide the pie. You have to go upstairs and ask for more. If there is always one pie, someone will be unhappy no matter how you cut it. You need more slots, more tracks, more ways for different people to be seen. Young workers need a stage. Older workers need a place to belong. Quiet workers need protection. Loud workers need boundaries. A middle manager translates. He turns orders from above into work for the team, and turns the team’s work into recognition from above. Rules hold the work up. Human feeling keeps it moving.

I keep one line in mind: people fear a biased leader more than a strict one. They fear that hard work will not count. They fear that rules will only apply to some people. So the question is not clear reward and punishment or muddling through. The question is whether most people believe that following you will not get them taken advantage of, that working hard will be returned, that being honest will not get them bullied, and that having difficulties will be seen.

After work, the light above the bulletin board was still on. The Outstanding Individual list and the recuperation notice hung side by side. Xiao Zhou passed and took a photo of the list. Lao Chen passed and touched the edge of the notice. I turned off the light. The hallway went dark. Tomorrow, Xiao Zhou would submit materials. Lao Chen would mop. Lao Zhao would inspect. Xiao Li would file reports. The bowl of water still had to be carried. It never stays level. As long as the people around you can see you trying to keep it steady, it does not spill.