I'm Not Taking Submissions

I’ve been told to marry a rich man.

I’ve been told to go to school and get a degree.

I’ve been told I'm not pretty without make-up.

I’ve been told not to smile because of a few crooked teeth.

I've been told and told and told… so many incorrect things.

There are some things I’ve rejected right away; such as marrying for money. I have never believed in marrying or dating for money, love has and always will be my primary motivation in such a relationship. It might be cliché, but trust me when I say character and true connection will always surpass the numbers sitting in someone’s bank account.

However, there have been things I’ve been told that I have believed. I was convinced that I needed to attend college instead of taking a year to decide what I actually wanted to do with my life. I wore make-up whenever I went outside because I thought people would judge me if I didn't. I only smiled with my mouth closed, and I was even aware of how I laughed. These are just a few of the lies I found myself believing.

The comments began when I was a child, and continued throughout my teenage years, and then into my twenties… Looking back, part of the compromise came from my own insecurities about myself, while others slowly wore away at me until I simply believed them. I had always known that certain things weren’t quite true, but being so young and inexperienced with life allows you to be vulnerable to others words and opinions.

But, thankfully, one day I had an epiphany.

I was about twenty-two years old at the time and I was walking through the living room of my house like normal. I don’t recall what I was doing exactly, but it’s most likely I was headed to the kitchen to grab a snack or something. But for some reason when I passed in front of the bookshelf, I had a sudden thought come to mind. Why can’t I smile with my teeth showing? I paused there for a few seconds as I literally contemplated the question. Why?

The next thing I knew, I found myself standing in the bathroom staring at myself in the mirror. I stared and stared, thoughts whirling about in my head, and then I smiled. I smiled until I saw all of my teeth, and I laughed. Because staring back at me wasn’t this horrendous looking person, rather it was just a normal girl with a big grin on her face. She looked happy.

I laughed some more as I realized my teeth didn’t even look bad, you could barely tell one was slightly out of place in the top row, and the bottom one wasn’t even visible where you could tell it was a tiny bit farther back then the others in the row. Then I cried. I cried because I realized I’d been believing such a horrible lie about myself. I had honestly thought my teeth were so embarrassingly ugly that I could never show them when I smiled. But here I was, fixated on the reflection across from me, wondering how I ever believed such a thing; and with each tear that fell, I think I found some sort of healing.

Ever since that day, I’ve smiled. I’ve smiled however I've wanted to smile. Big, small, cheesy, you name it. It was like I'd discovered a new freedom in life; and with that, it unlocked an even greater realization of just how many lies I'd been believing... How caged I'd really been by other people's words.

After that, I decided I didn’t have to wear make-up if I didn’t want to. Actually, I didn’t even look bad without make-up… So, I stopped wearing it so much and went for more natural looks. I've been loving every second.

I had already gotten a degree by this point, and not to say that I'll never use it, but this new freedom led me to even stepping out to pursue my passions. Such as writing, painting, and other arts. Things that I had always been told were a waste of time and would never earn money. But here I am, and I'm so, so happy.

If anyone reading this has experienced such things, or is experiencing them now, don't take everyone's words to heart. You have the right to sort through what others say to you. You have the right to decline or accept their opinions and advice. I wasted so much time and energy believing what others had told me, that I never had an opportunity to make my own thoughts and decisions concerning myself.

Look at your life, look at what you're unhappy with. If it's roots are found in a bad experience with what another person has said to you, re-evaluate it for yourself. Be confident in who you are and what you want. You might just discover a new sense of freedom and find a beautiful smile adorning your face.