How to soar like an Eagle

I chanced upon a nice little story today on Facebook, about how you can soar like an eagle or quack like a duck. What to soar like an eagle actually means is, you should always go the extra mile. And the more I read it, the more I realised that trying to soar like an eagle is something I have been doing all of my life, in business and in my personal life.

I have to say, there have indeed been times when I soared like an eagle, due to going the extra mile. Unfortunately, there have also been times when I quacked like a duck, through no fault of my own. And those were the times when I had nothing to fall back on. And so I would like to add my very own little caveat, and that is to hoard away like a squirrel.

I think what was extremely disappointing to me in my personal life was when I was the breadwinner in my first family. I happily shared the spoils with my other half. However, when years later she came into a decent sum of money by virtue of an inheritance from her grandmother, she saw that as exclusively hers. Had I known she would pull a stunt like that, I probably would have been a lot more conservative with my good economic fortune in the past.

The other piece of advice I would give to anybody setting out on their life's path with a beloved other, would be to sign a pre-nuptial agreement. I know some people feel like that is like planning to fail. In fact, it is planning for an equitable exit, if one should happen along.

I used to watch a lot of episodes of Dragons Den where entrepreneurs are looking for investment in their fledgling businesses. And the one question that was always brought up by an investor was, "What is your exit strategy?"

The presumption was that if and when the company became successful, how was the businessman going to deal with that? Would he or she put up an IPO (Initial Public Offering) or sell the business to somebody else? It was always presumed that at some point in the future, the entrepreneur would be looking for a way to make an exit from the company, to move on to something else, or even just to retire. And the investor was wanting to know how that exit would affect his or her investment.

I see no earthly reason why anybody, who likes to consider themselves to be fair-minded, would have a problem with that. And if they do express any reservations at the beginning of the relationship, then that is not a good sign that they will do the decent thing when it comes to a parting of the ways.

So exactly how do you hoard like a squirrel? Easy, just start a pension fund in your name only. Also, start a savings account and keep it going for as long as you can. And avoid, at all costs, a joint bank account. Do not give up control of your finances to anybody, not even, or even especially not, your life partner.

Many, many years ago a very good friend of mine asked me to join him in a new venture. His idea was that I would dedicate my time freely for a year and that would be seen as my investment. Then, when the business took off, the spoils would be equally divided. I said ok, well let's put that all in writing, please. He declined saying that I would have to trust him. I said no.

My thinking was that if he was not willing to sign away a half of nothing at the beginning, because that was all it was worth at that point in time, then he would almost certainly demure when it was worth something worth having. Sadly, from experience, I know only too well how people are when it comes to large sums of money.

After my ex-wife, number two, stole and sold my new car, I offered to go fifty-fifty with her and asked her for my fifty per cent. Her reply was "It's hardly worth having." In the end, I sued her in court for all of it, not that I ever got it, even though I won in court. So I decided to treat it as child support for the next twelve years, which she agreed to. Two years down the line she took me to court for none payment of child support.

What I learned from this was that you cannot expect somebody who has cheated on you by having an extramarital affair, to be fair in financial matters after the fact

In Spain, I discovered very much to my cost that the law over-favours the woman, especially if there are any children involved. I met a great many men who had lost everything, just like me. They were reduced to having to live with their elderly parents, unable to make any headway towards single-parent independence. Indeed, their wives kept the family home for her and the children, as well as her new lover, whilst the ex-husband had to continue paying the mortgage!

The law allows, or even forces, that to happen. The man is told that the house can be sold and the equity divided once the children have reached the age of independence, which is 25 in Spain. Many a man has passed away long before he gets anywhere near getting his share of the house. So in effect, the man can never move on. He is permanently tied to his ex through the joint ownership of the property. It's all very depressing, I'm afraid.

Anyway, the point I was trying to make was that, in Spain at least, a marriage contract, for that is what it is, is all one-sided. And no man in his right mind would sign up for such a one-sided contract in business. So why would you do so for love? Well, I did, but that was because I did not know how my ex would turn out, nor how over-favourable the law is towards the woman in the event of a divorce.

So, to sum up; by all means, soar like an eagle, hoard like a squirrel and avoid ever having to quack like a duck.