How to Navigate Isolation

As an elder millennial, I can speak fluently on this topic. Millennials face tough times. We are expected to have obtained a career by this point, married someone, and perhaps even started having kids. Sure, times have changed. It is not necessarily expected anymore for a thirty year old female to be married with children by then.

But, people assume that you should be dating, or at least actively looking for a spouse. I had a colleague state that they would like to set me up, without seeking my thoughts or feelings on the topic. Evidently, I am a puppet that people can throw around. Boundaries are apparently okay to break when speaking to a younger person.

Seriousness aside (jk, more seriousness), many elder female millennials are considering freezing their eggs. Though it is an entirely reasonable idea, it breaks the bank and can cost upwards of $5,000 or more. We are already choked thin enough with bills and the current increase in the cost of living.

Every career focused female understands this struggle and juggling act (and men too). We cannot be perfect. It is hard enough to successfully climb the proverbial corporate ladder. I cannot fathom catering to the desires of someone else too.

I try to explain that some of us gain fulfillment from our careers. That yes, I would like to be married one day, but it doesn't tug at my heartstrings daily. I try to avoid using sarcasm though.

Really though, it is not healthy to desire a companion above all things. In any event, my most immediate concern is paying my mortgage and monthly bills. I am guessing that is true for most.

Work is a hard grind for elder millennials. We aren't necessarily old enough to be the CEO of our companies at this point, but we absolutely shouldn't be the lowest on the totem pole either (societies standards, not mine). We are facing a rough housing market too, in which home prices are astronomically high and mortgage rates rising.

Buying a home is considered the pinnacle of financial achievement. We hear how important "equity" is only to scroll through Zillow in desperation. Even more annoying, there are contradicting articles on millennials flooding the current housing market. Some say that age groups' flood into the market will help keep it healthy and alive. Others say the flood is contributing to the problem.

There is probably no right answer. All this to say, we want to achieve the financial success of our parents, but we forget that we are trying to emulate their lives in an incomparable time.

I have found that the demanding times invites a lot of isolation.

Excessively working does not usually marry oneself to an active social life. Going to bed exhaustively at 9pm has become normal. A lot of us avoid a raging social life because of covid anyways.

We are a smart and savvy generation though. Many of us are buying homes with our savings that we worked so hard to achieve. Covid forced some elder millennials back to their parents' house (if they were lucky enough to have that option available) and fare the times. It allowed some to save up for a down payment on their home. What was once considered embarrassing is now normal.

Now, for the purpose of this article!

Here's how to navigate isolation (while still enjoying life) and finding some added fulfillment:

1. Find a side hustle, like now.

I cannot emphasize this one enough. I am even tempted to say this advice applies across the board, even for those financial stable people. Most of us do not receive our entire fulfillment from our jobs or careers. Which is normal, I might add. A side hustle garners extra income (or hey, enough income to justify a Starbucks or DoorDash meal once or twice a month).

Financial happiness is a real thing, and it is nice to have more control over your bank account when you add in the side gig. Plus, you can side hustle in an area you're passionate about! For a lot of us, our jobs can stifle creativity. Unleash your creative side then, because I think we all can, and find more personal satisfaction in life beyond the daily grind.

Just remember, working hard can invite isolation. We millennials know this. A side hustle might sound like a second job and another excuse to avoid people, but I carve out a few hours each week for the side hustle. I don't let it control my life, as no job/side gig should, and I find that I am more productive. I still see other humans!

2. Do something outside of your comfort zone that involves people.

Isolation is code for lack of people around you (at least, usually). I am guilty of avoiding people myself. I am often tempted to cancel plans. So, pick a group activity, or solo activity that involves people around you, and do it. I often pick an activity that has a small entrance fee, which helps me avoid backing out. [I can turn into George Costanza from Seinfeld sometimes and penny pinch like no other].

Even strolling your local zoo or museum can be enough to get outside, juices flowing, and if you are a writer, help deter writer's block.

In my opinion, signing up for a 5k or even a 10k can be great. It requires an entrance fee, forces you to train with people (if you're so inclined), and often the proceeds go to a charity. It can feel great to start the day early, enjoy the outdoor exercise, and celebrate with a group breakfast afterwards.

3. Speaking of charity, find one, or a few, that you're interested in, and donate small amounts each month.

This one makes you feel part of something greater than yourself, plus doing so has tax benefits. A lot of us feel like our money right now is only going to rent, groceries, and bills, i.e., dark hole.

I limit myself to donating a small amount to three charities each month. I am passionate about my chosen three at the moment, so I feel good donating. There aren't really any downsides to this one.

4. Journal, or write creatively, professionally, or for no reason at all. JUST WRITE!

I have found that journaling and/or writing (using Vocal helps!) eases isolation pains.

I go beyond journaling sometimes and write for the purpose of telling a story, either fiction or non-fiction.

For me, writing a story transcends myself away from my current conditions and into a different realm. It reminds me that I am a part of something bigger than myself, and I can justify welcoming post-covid changes, some of which invites more isolation, because I have more time to tuck myself away and write. It is a good thing to make time for your thoughts.

Self-expression is a great use of time.

Can I think of more? Yes. But to me, these are enough for now.