How to Go from a Self-Doubter to a Self-Starter
Are you constantly self-doubting? Do you find yourself starting projects and then leaving them, half-finished, to collect dust? Here's how to change that!
Many people are pessimistic by nature; I would know, I was one of them. The belief that we can't always seems to be more plausible than we can. It's a sad fact about life. But, what if I told you that you can get rid of that attitude altogether? What if I told you that all those unfinished projects can be rekindled, finished, and successful? If you want to know how to stop doubting and start believing, keep reading.
Six Easy Steps to Becoming a Self-Starter
As ridiculous as it may sound, it's all about you. You don't have to spend thousand's of dollars on therapy for low self-esteem or classes or products. All you have to do is follow these six easy steps.
1. Exude Confidence
Even if you are not a very confident person by nature, exude it anyway. When other's perceive you as confident, they are more likely to approach you and listen to what you have to say. Whether you're trying to attract a good guy, get a product out there, or just feel better about yourself, exuding confidence is essential.
If you are unsure on how to do this, try these simple methods;
Walk with your head up, not looking at your feet or the ground.
Make eye-contact when you speak with people.
Don't cross your arms or play with your hands during conversation. Keep your arms at your sides.
Sit and stand straight up.
Use color psychology (if you need some pointers, you can check out my other blog; Get the Right Man With Color Psychology. You can use these colors to do more than attract a guy).
These things may be hard for you at first. Don't expect an over night change. But, if you persevere and continue to exude these things, not only will others see you as confident, but you will start to feel more confident.
2. Speak Clearly
I cannot stress this enough! So many people give up during conversation because people aren't understanding what they are trying to say. The meaning or information they are trying to convey just isn't coming out quite right.
Try and use short, concise sentences. Don't try to include technical jargon until who you're talking to understands what you are trying to convey in the first place.
Keep it simple. Try not to use big words to make yourself sound smarter. More than likely, the person you are talking to will get stuck on that word and miss the rest of what you are trying to say. And, if they don't understand the word, they more than likely will not tell you.
Articulate! Make sure to speak loudly, slowly, and clearly. If you speak softly or slur your words together or talk too fast, people are more likely to miss the point. You don't have to speak at a turtle's pace, but speak slow enough to where the important words of your statement are emphasized and understood.
3. Stick With What You Say
Too many people back down from a statement or opinion because of opposing views and conflict. DON'T! If you are wrong, accept the facts graciously. But if you are speaking on a matter of opinion, stick with what you say!
When you back down from an opinion to avoid conflict, it shows anything but confidence. If you are willing to throw your own opinion's and morals to the wind, this can show others that you are naive, a push-over, and anything but confident.
Don't embellish what you say either. Don't pretend to know people in a certain situation or have gone through something blown out of proportion. People will always catch on, even if they don't tell you flat-out. This makes you a liar, and other's will not pay any attention to what you have to say, let alone believe it.
4. Leave Yourself Love Notes
Leave notes of encouragement and reminder all over your house (sticky notes work best) where you know that you'll see them. Got an unfinished project? Leave a note on your refrigerator that reads "Get back to that project! You can do it!" Want to boost your confidence? Leave a note on your bathroom mirror that says "Look at yourself! You look beautiful!" Want to get back into the dating scene? Leave a note on your dresser that says "Maybe today's the day. Get out there!"
You can do variations depending on what you are trying to accomplish, those mentioned above are only examples.
5. Force the Positive
No matter what you are going through, force a smile on your face and think positive. If you lost your job, try thinking about how unhappy you were and how this gives you an opportunity to look for something better where you will be more appreciated. If you and your boyfriend broke up, try thinking about things he did that annoyed you or infuriated you. Think of how much happier you will be being free to find someone who appreciates the things he nagged you about.
You will be surprised how much happier in your life you will be if you force yourself to stay positive and don't give in to negative thinking or behavior.
6. Read Success Stories
This one is a little off the wall, but it really does work! Reading other people's success and inspirational stories, especially if it's something you really care about and are interested in, can boost your self-confidence and help you gain clarity on your purpose. Inspiring stories are called inspiring stories for a reason. They inspire you to take action. If you read inspiring stories related to your situation or problem, they may very well give you the confidence to get up and do it yourself!