Help!

Hello everybody. I hope you are all doing well. I haven't been around for about two months for personal reasons, like three weeks in Europe and a whole host of other matters I had to deal with. And it is one of those other matters that I need some help with.

Recently, for the very first time, I tried to withdraw my money from Vocal Media via Stripe. I am now of the mind that it would be easier to extract an elephant's tooth, going in at the rear end!

First Stripe asked me for a photograph of an official document. Fine, my British passport, that'll do nicely, as they say. Errr, no.

The first attempt failed because the camera, my mobile phone, or cell phone as some people call it, was too close. I took another photograph, they said the camera was too far away. I tried again, but they said it was not a valid document!

I emailed Stripe support and some guy called Wally said my passport was not valid because I opened my account in Japan. They gave me a list of Japanese documents to choose from and I chose my Japanese permanent resident card. It's quite a small, plastic-encapsulated thing, about the size of a bank card. It has a front and a rear, but all the information is on the front of the card, in English and Japanese. The rear is totally blank.

Again I had to go through all that nonsense of the camera being too close, too far away...the third time they said it was not valid because I had not uploaded the front of the card! Well, there is sweet bugger all on the back of the card, so no way was I confused.

They then said that I could use a social media profile, like Facebook for example. All I had to do was load up my profile URL. Have you ever looked for that vital piece of information? I had to Google the question"Where is my Facebook URL." I soon got the answer. So back to Facebook on my computer, but for some reason, my URL was not where it should have been. I tried my mobile phone, and thank the Lord it was there.

Back to Stripe, but they had timed me out. Start again. I got past that hurdle and then got a form asking me for my bank, account holder's name, and account number...but the system would not accept the information. It said I would have to upload my bank details in Japanese! For personal reasons, I have not got a bank in Japan!

I speak and hear/understand a little basic Japanese, but not a word in writing. No problem, I'm married to a lovely Japanese woman who translated it all for me when she got home from work. Next?

Stripe wants to know the name of my business (I haven't got one) its nick-name (ditto) the nature of my business (ditto) and they want all of the answers in Japanese.

At one point, they asked me for my password. I gave it. They said it was wrong. It wasn't. However, I clicked on reset password and the system generated a strong suggestion, which I accepted. Unbelievably, their system said it was wrong! They generated the thing! How on Earth could that be wrong?

So back I went to emailing Stripe support. This time they have failed to respond. Meanwhile, I have made so many attempts to get into Stripe they have now temporarily suspended me from making any more attempts!

Then, surfing the internet for solutions, I came across a Stripe information page that said "You cannot access Stripe if you fail to supply your business details," in Japanese, of course. I haven't got a darn business! I am, not to put too fine a point on it, at my wit's end. I have given up. My only, final solution, which may be a long shot, is to reach out to you guys.

Has anybody else had these types of problems, and if so, how did you ever get past them? It's an obstacle course, for sure.

Now we come to one more problem. Some time ago I was suspended from using the comments section here, for what I haven't got a clue. When I asked Support they would only say "You have broken the rules, please read the guidelines." I am none the wiser. I get along well with everybody here. So, that means that even if you try to help me, I cannot answer you, so please do not ask me any questions for clarification, like "Have you tried.....?"

Thank you in anticipation of your kind help.