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Heartbroken

Truly tired of the pain.

By Marleen NishPublished 3 years ago Updated 3 years ago 3 min read
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My makeup for planned day 2

So, I got a dream job at a bookstore! I was so excited; I did my makeup all fancy and I was happy. Even though it was only going to be 20 hours a week at $12. I was still excited to be working with books. I was thrilled, just thinking “I get to work with books". I thought it would be great as it worked around my college schedule. The interviewer said they could accommodate me, as I have plantar fasciitis, tendinitis, sciatica, and a herniated L4-L5. As well as anxiety and depression. So, I show up yesterday at 10 am, as the recruiter said to do, and they haven’t put me in the system yet. They worked with me as I had all the documentation as proof. They had me work 4 hours yesterday. Let me just say… it hurt, as I was on my feet for 4 hours straight. I can normally only handle 2 hours on my feet at a time…at most. It was very similar to working at the warehouse. I started by packing books in boxes to ship out (which I have done at 3 prior jobs, 2 of which were warehouse). Then they had me put the “curbside pick-up” books in their designated spots (which I have done in one warehouse). And then go and pick the books off the shelves to be packaged (again, I have done that in a warehouse job). So, I was underwhelmed by the entire job. The recruiter told me I would be working the register, stocking the store, and and prepping books. I did not work the register, or stock products in the store. I also didn’t think she meant that style of preparation. I could handle all of that though…. If my body allowed it. Which is it won't. Today I was supposed to go in at 8 am. I can barely walk across the living room as I am in so much pain. It feels like I am walking on swollen bruises with a knife stabbing the heels and left ankle. So, I called them this morning and informed them the recruiter misinformed me about accommodations, as those types of jobs can’t accommodate my needs. And since I wasn’t even in the system, to go ahead and put yesterday as Volunteer work. I am truly saddened because I was so excited to work there and my body will not allow such work. I am going to physical therapy, podiatrist, and pain management. But nothing has worked yet. I am doing my stretches & exercises to no avail. I am in desperate need of a solid income as well. I was counting on that extra 800 a month. I am working with Rover & Uber Eats, but barely making my bills. I am behind in my bills by $800 as of Aug. the 14th. I am truly heartbroken that I can’t find a decent-paying job that works for my ailments. I need a sitting position, where I am not answering phones all day. I’ve tried that before and my anxiety decided it was too much for me. All I want is to be a contributing member of society and have some type of savings account. To be debt-free & stress-free, financially speaking. If anyone can help financially, I would be extremely grateful. If anyone knows of shoes, or remedies that can help any or all of my ailments that would be greatly appreciated as well. I am not a fan of asking for help, I was raised to be independent & rely on only myself. Not being able to, is killing my spirit. I am truly, epically, heartbroken.

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About the Creator

Marleen Nish

A 39-year-old college freshman. Open to all subscritptions, heart reactions, reads, shares, and tips. Open to all constructive criticism as well.

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