He Won’t Teach You Everything. Here’s What He Will Do Instead.

Xiao Zhou carried a cup of coffee and leaned in beside Lao Chen’s desk.

“Brother Chen, that trick you used to win over Mr. Zhang, can you teach me all of it?”

Lao Chen stared at the screen, his fingers pausing on the keyboard. He said, “First fill out this week’s weekly report template.”

Xiao Zhou didn’t leave. “I’m serious. All your experience, teach it to me, and I’ll definitely study hard.”

Lao Chen picked up his cup and found the coffee cold. He got up to get hot water. When he came back, Xiao Zhou was gone.

This wasn’t the first time Lao Chen had been asked this. He had mentored four newcomers, and every one of them had asked something similar. Some asked, “How can I be like you?” Some asked, “Can you give me your client list?” Some simply said, “Just tell me what to do; you don’t need to explain the rest.”

Lao Chen answered differently each time, but the scale in his mind was the same: teach what can be taught, keep what should be kept, treat people according to who they are, give according to what the job needs.

One: What can be put into documents, he never stints on

Lao Chen had a folder on his computer called “Newcomer Pack.” It contained reimbursement procedures, contract templates, meeting-minute formats, a list of common mistakes, and contact numbers for liaisons in each department. Whoever arrived, he sent it over directly.

He taught these things quickly. If he didn’t, the newcomer would keep asking him the same questions. He had done the math: spending ten minutes explaining clearly was cheaper than spending ten hours cleaning up messes later.

But he never opened another thing.

That thing was a black hardcover notebook, its corners worn white. Tucked inside was a 2018 business card; the person on it had already left the company. The notebook had no procedures, no templates, only short phrases, symbols, arrows, and abbreviated names. For example: “Mr. Zhang, Tuesday, don’t talk money,” “Engineer Li, praise his son first,” “Director Wang, no calls after 3 p.m.”

Once, when Lao Chen was away, Xiao Zhou flipped through two pages but didn’t understand them. Lao Chen came back, saw it, and didn’t get angry. He just closed the notebook, put it in the drawer, and said, “You can’t understand this. It’s useless to you anyway.”

Later, Xiao Zhou told others that Lao Chen was holding back. Lao Chen heard it but didn’t explain.

Two: Experience is stepped on, not handed out

In his first few years at work, Lao Chen made a mistake.

He sent a client’s quotation directly to the client’s boss without cc’ing the intermediary. The intermediary felt bypassed and pulled the order. Lao Chen was chewed out by his boss for half an hour. After that, he learned: whom to send it to, whom to cc, when to send it, and what tone to use. All of it was knowledge.

It took him three years to figure out this knowledge. Along the way, he stepped into seven pits, lost two clients, and worked countless hours of overtime.

He couldn’t teach all of it to Xiao Zhou. Every client had a different temper. Every project had a different heat. What he could give was “Before sending an email, ask yourself: who will be left out?” What he couldn’t give was “If Mr. Zhang is left out, he’ll slam the table; if Mr. Li is left out, he’ll hold a grudge; if Mr. Wang is left out, he’ll call and curse you out.”

These judgments could only be learned by Xiao Zhou stepping on them himself.

Lao Chen knew clearly: laying everything out meant laying out his own irreplaceability too. If he taught Xiao Zhou to fill out reimbursement forms, Xiao Zhou could help him paste invoices. If he taught Xiao Zhou to write weekly reports, Xiao Zhou could help him hand in deliverables. But if he told Xiao Zhou everything in that notebook, and Xiao Zhou learned how to win over Mr. Zhang, where would Lao Chen’s position be?

This wasn’t a moral issue. It was a position issue.

Three: The newcomer’s attitude sets the senior’s face

Lao Chen once mentored a newcomer named Xiao Li.

On Xiao Li’s first day, Lao Chen was explaining the project background. Five minutes in, Xiao Li interrupted: “Brother Chen, just tell me what I need to do. I don’t think you need to say the rest; I won’t remember it anyway.”

Lao Chen nodded and said, “Okay.”

From then on, Lao Chen only sent Xiao Li task lists. Item one, item two, item three. When done, check the box and send it back. When Xiao Li asked why, Lao Chen said, “Do it first. We’ll talk after.” If Xiao Li didn’t ask, Lao Chen didn’t explain.

Three months later, Xiao Li was transferred away. Before leaving, he complained to others, “Lao Chen doesn’t teach anything.”

When Lao Chen heard, he simply threw the task lists Xiao Li had left behind into the shredder.

Later, Lao Chen mentored another newcomer named Xiao Zhao.

Xiao Zhao also asked questions, but differently. He would say, “Brother Chen, I did what you said last time and emailed Mr. Zhang first, but he didn’t reply. Should I call him? Or wait two days?” Lao Chen stopped what he was doing, turned and glanced at him, and said, “How are you planning to say it on the phone?”

Xiao Zhao said three sentences. Lao Chen said, “Drop the second sentence. Too eager. The rest is fine.”

After Xiao Zhao left, Lao Chen opened the drawer, took out the black notebook, turned to the “Mr. Zhang” page, looked at it for a few seconds, and closed it again.

Four: Mentorship without rewards runs on interest

Lao Chen got no extra performance points for mentoring newcomers.

During the half year he mentored Xiao Li, his own projects were delayed twice. His boss called him in and asked, “Why has your output dropped recently?” Lao Chen said, “Mentoring a newcomer.” The boss said, “Mentoring a newcomer still requires you to guarantee your own work.”

Lao Chen didn’t say anything else.

Later, he got smarter. He taught newcomers the parts that could reduce his own burden first. Reimbursement, weekly reports, meeting minutes, data organization. Once the newcomer got the hang of it, he could free his hands to do his own work. As for core judgments, key contacts, and upward management, he played it by ear.

If the newcomer could reduce his burden, he taught a little more. If the newcomer couldn’t be brought along and only added chaos, he cut his losses quickly. He also had to deliver.

He mentored Xiao Zhao because after Xiao Zhao learned to organize data, Lao Chen could work two fewer hours of overtime each week. He used those two hours to pick up his kid. This motivation was stronger than any “spirit of mentorship.”

Five: The list in his head

Lao Chen never wrote it down, but he had a list in his head.

Must teach: procedures, templates, tools, safety and compliance, common pitfalls. If he didn’t teach these, the newcomer would get into trouble, and the trouble would splash back on him.

Teach selectively: methodology, review thinking, judgment frameworks. It depended on the newcomer’s attitude. When Xiao Zhao asked, “I tried A and B and got stuck here. How do you suggest I judge it?” Lao Chen explained. When Xiao Li asked, “Just tell me what to do,” Lao Chen didn’t.

Teach cautiously: core contacts, key resources, upward management, political judgment. Only for those he trusted long-term. Lao Chen once mentored a young woman who followed him for two years. When she left, he took a photo of the “Director Wang” page in his notebook and sent it to her. No one else got that.

Cannot teach even if he wanted to: intuition, feel, trade-offs in complex situations. These could only grow out of projects, pitfalls, and reviews. What Lao Chen could do was give opportunities, give feedback, and cover the bottom. But he couldn’t grow skills on Xiao Zhou’s behalf.

Six: If a newcomer wants to learn more, change the question first

Xiao Zhou changed later.

He no longer asked, “Can you teach me everything?” He began to ask, “Brother Chen, I emailed this client and he didn’t reply. I checked his purchasing records from last month and saw he just switched suppliers. Should I call first to confirm he received it? Or go straight to his assistant?”

Lao Chen put down the mouse, turned his chair, and said, “How long did it take you to check the purchasing records?”

Xiao Zhou said, “Half an hour.”

Lao Chen said, “Next time, spend five minutes reading the news first. His supplier switch was in the industry news. When you call, don’t pitch first. Ask how the new supplier is working out. If he complains, just listen. Don’t rush to talk about us.”

Xiao Zhou nodded and took out his phone to write it down. Lao Chen glanced at him and added, “Don’t write it down. If you write it down, you won’t think. Go back, think it through, and tell me tomorrow how you plan to make the call.”

Xiao Zhou left. Lao Chen opened the drawer, took out the notebook, turned to the “Mr. Zhang” page, and added a line below: “Xiao Zhou. Teachable.”

Seven: Ending

The next morning, when Lao Chen arrived at his desk, a cup of hot coffee was sitting on it.

Xiao Zhou stood beside him and said, “Brother Chen, I thought about it last night. Before calling, I’ll send him a WeChat message asking if it’s convenient. If he replies, I’ll set a time. If not, I’ll call.”

Lao Chen took a sip of coffee and said, “That works.”

He opened his computer and started working on his own reports. Xiao Zhou returned to his desk, opened the client list, and started reading the news.

Lao Chen didn’t say, “You have a bright future.” Xiao Zhou didn’t say, “Thank you, Brother Chen.”

The office was very quiet, with only the sound of keyboards.