EnCrypted Headspace

The time has finally come. It is a bittersweet scenario. Every opportunity in the word is now at my grasp, but I still find myself immovable, strung taut by invisible tethers in a web of muted despair.

It is the process of synthesizing:

• debt, with stabilization, with advancement
• desire, with comfort, with growth
• love, with my life, with all others

What exactly is necessary? What must life be breathed into above all else?

*

Except those questions, and more, are inextricably bound by the population at large. We are bound by the debts of all those who direct us by their own looser, but undoubtedly connective, strings.

Supply and demand are no longer a means of survival; they have become the means to survival. In this world of advanced opportunity, we have grown accustomed to needing more, held to a higher standard than we used to be. Our hungers have widened as our metaphorical mouths and stomachs have as such, and there is far more to consider as far as our programming has driven us.

With ease of access comes the unfortunate side-effect: a likewise ease of achieving that access. Unfortunately, that is not so.

I, for one, am not one so easily led to income driven by customer service, at least directly. There is no value in there for me. To me, there is no immense satisfaction; no lasting impact.

It may be because I hate meeting people just to never see them again. As children on a playground make friends in their innocence, and must leave never seeing those new acquaintances ever again. I'd rather not even open myself up to meeting new people, in part for that reason. Plus, I don't want to get involved with those who don't really care for me, anyway. Which has happened--unbelievably--in the womb of years, before.

But that is outside of the focus of this article...

How can we be held back by such insignificant things, that are at the same time so significant:

• Needing help, but feeling like you're worth more than asking for it. Or "knowing" the outcome and not bothering to waste the time or be choked by the potential fears.
• Failing to pick up the phone, in case their is damnation by an unseen presence lurking just beyond.
• Feeling conflicted by obligating to a new company, when the reality is that they were already there, and will be there even if it doesn't work it with you. Feeling conflicted, instead of trying your luck and leaving amicably if it doesn't work out.

*

Those are just a few of my own hang-ups, and ideas about them.

I know that life is family, is friends, is people, because we all will die, while all else will live on. I know what is important, but am held prisoner to survival and anything to get a quick buck, so to speak. I find it most difficult to find trusted opportunities, otherwise I am happy to dedicate myself to causes that don't demand I slave myself or, in another manner of speaking, ones that I find worth the struggle.

In the end, it is a two-way street--no matter what they may say to you. Survival in this age comes down to parties, not so much individuals anymore. The time of contained lives has met its end. Whether untimely, or irrespective of time.

I suppose the phrase "dog eat dog world" is applicable. Except, we have no longer got the strength to say no to our favorites dishes, and eat them now without a care in the world.

Except, we must care.

We have bitten off more than we can chew, perhaps.

The world has opened itself wide to us.

And it is ready to swallow us whole.