Deleting Twitter, Goodreads and People.

I used to spend a lot of time on Twitter and Goodreads. Through after my break up, I didn’t want to be on those sites anymore. Twitter used to be a fun place where I would look for places to submit work for. I found a local writing group through Twitter and also found out about Vocal through Twitter.

When Twitter rebranded as X, the site felt different. Also after me and my ex broke up, being on the site just gave me memories of him and I wanted to try and forget him if I can.

As for Goodreads, it’s the same reasons we did so much together even though we were apart. We bounced off each other with writing and reading. I need to step away from those sites. I still read a lot, maybe not as much as last year but I still go to my monthly book club at work and it’s a lot of fun.

I’ve not told a lot of people this, only close friends. Many of my immediate family don’t know about it either. I had a miscarriage in September 2022. He blamed his fatigue, but he said it’s better off dead. Which lead to a lot of PTSD. I got signed off by my therapist this month.

On top of that, someone who was suppose to be a close friend said I wasn’t really pregnant. Can’t remember if she was drunk or sober when she said it. It wasn’t until this year we fell out. We tried to be friends again but I ended the friendship. We just don’t get on anymore. We are happier without each other.

I don’t know what I did wrong with that friend. I made a joke about Pokémon go being a better dating app then POF and that’s offensive. “Don’t compare my dating life to yours!” How is that comparing your dating life?

Then I tried to turn to her cause something went bad with a date. The date accused me of using him for sex then she asked if I did it.

“Did you have sex with him?”

“That’s private!”

Then she continued to be rude, and the way she spoke to me made me feel stupid.

Just made me think of all the big mistakes I did. It was a mistake staying with my ex as long as I did. I should have broken up with him after what he said about the baby. The date was a mistake too, he called me a slut when I started setting boundaries. The biggest mistake was thinking I could be friends with people again after being so toxic to me.

An old acquaintance of mine once said, “I think you’re autistic cause you can’t see what’s in front of you.” She warned me about my ex. My friend Patan was mad at her comment and decided to stand up for me. I didn’t want her to send that message. I was scared to say when people upset me.

This was the last message that acquaintance sent.

Take responsibility for your OWN actions Chloe, I am not going to message a stranger who doesn’t know the ‘context’ of our discussion. You may have shown messages however YOU have twisted the meaning, shifting the focus and agenda... to hide the truth. You only tell people what suits you and 100% it’s not direct to their face!

If you were upset with ME & my message you should have communicated with ME. Not getting anyone else involved. Don’t be so cowardly. I’m so thankful I have plenty of friends who are authentic and have integrity... my friends know who I AM..., do yours?

I do not regret ANYTHING that I have said to you. Because I shared the truth about you being manipulated, groomed and used all the way overseas! I shared it from a place of care & CONCERN!

Really, if I’m completely honest my messages as a friend shows that I do care, that I’m telling you the obvious. However it’s also obvious you want to stay in your own disillusioned version of a relationship. A one way relationship that you pay the flight ticket 🎫 to get used.

I’m disturbed (and I’m sure others would be too but you haven’t TOLD them the TRUTH have you?) by contents YOU have shared and I don’t regret anything I’ve said. I acted in a protective way however I know all I need to know now. No doubts you have selectively shared about this man with your friends because you want validation don’t you now?

You ask for MY opinion & I’m entitled to have my own opinion & say my view. And my opinion won’t change. If such a behaviour is okay why keep it a secret from your caring Mum or Auntie???

‘Think before you say something?’ Just to clearly state 100% I intentionally shared my opinion BASED on some of the Perturbing content YOU shared.

I repeat your issue Chloe is that you share discretional information because you only desire peers who will agree to your own perspective. I suppose in many ways that makes you feel much more comfortable doesn’t it?

I suppose not being challenged by a friend allows you to continue being mistreated because that is exactly what you want. If you want you continue to pretend he’s in love with you.

It’s much easier to stay in that place so you don’t have to have believe in something better. Regards to that man .... your family would be more worried ... hence they know nothing. You delete the facts to family too.

In my world of friendships my friends can say they disagree and hold their own viewpoint. I’m the same and they don’t expect me to be a sheep. Without doubt my friends would stand in fire 🔥 for me however that is based on authentic truths in friendship not drama created to try and keep friends close. You manipulate peers carefully to attack others who disagree with you don’t you? In addition you are the person who will bitch everywhere else indirectly rather than hear truth! You’d rather smear others with your own opinion than tell everyone the real story. Why don’t you tell everyone the real story????

A gentle reminder of the best story:

One strong courageous person with integrity DID tell the Emperor he was naked and not in new clothes! The others continued to buy into that nonsense and we all know how the delusional story ends.

The reason you got other people involved is because you don’t like my opinion. I don’t accept what you think is acceptable.

I don’t regret anything I have said, as I’ve always been honest with you. The difference is you have not been open or transparent to me or to these other friends. You get them to battle for you don’t you?

Your behaviour Chloe is appalling and if I ever receive such messages again the Local Authority will be informed... I’ll tell them everything I know that you shared and have your family informed about everything, this isn’t about autism. This is about vulnerability.... someone been taken advantage of!

I’m aware from family working in the Police how they can deal with these issues and trace on Social Media. I suggest you do not ask my opinion or advice anymore. Besides I prefer the company of my close friends who know I stand with integrity... they hold me in high regard in my absence not just to my face.

I hate the fact that she was right. I was abused, but I wanted to stay positive. I wanted to prove her wrong. That maybe me and my ex would one day live together and be happy.

I’ve tried years to try and be friends again. Letters, cards and messages and nothing. I really thought that now me and ex have split up that maybe she could be proud of me and see that I’ve seen the light and got rid of toxic people that were dragging me down.

She gave up on me. She forgot all the things I did for her. Lend her my credit card to buy a fancy dress, use my card when she couldn’t buy something and go all over the country in the middle of a pandemic to pick something up and send it to her purely for being a friend.

Before I went to France, I went through my phone and deleted photos of every person that hurt me. Now people know I’m not an ATM machine, they show their true colours.