Confessions of... a Careers Advisor

If you asked the average person to describe the job of a Careers Advisor, the words boring, humdrum, mundane and tedious would probably feature high on the list. You would be surprised. I was and I am one.

During my studies, I remember a chat I had with my lecturer, she said "Most people takes years to effectively build relationships with their clients, some never manage it but you, you already have that skill. They open up to you". This, I found, has become both a blessing and a bit of curse. People, total strangers, clients I'd met for a whole of five seconds are willing to spill their guts to me. They tell me anything and I mean anything, things I don't want to know and will probably never forget.

The following is a number of amusing, awful and sometimes truly awesome tales of my time as an Advisor and of the weird and wonderful people I've met during my career to date.

Part 1. ED

I'd been working with this particular client of mine for several months now. He had almost completed all the in-house training we provided as well as training at other training centres which we'd paid for. I was starting to think he was a lost cause. He was stuck in that rut that many job-seekers find themselves in, once someone starts training and enjoys learning new skills with no pressure on them to find work, they want to do another course and another until finally that's all they want to do, course after course after course.

We had a follow-up appointment scheduled for the morning, which I was dreading a little, which course was he going to ask to be referred to this time?

He came into the office and we went to the interview booth for a bit of privacy. "I've seen a job I want to apply for", he said. "I was wondering if you could give me some interview advice"? I take back everything I said. I was wrong about him, he's not a lost cause. How stupid and guilty do I feel now for thinking that of him.

At this point, I'm smiling from ear to ear. I'll admit it, I'm a geek and other people's ambition, confidence, success makes me happy. "Of course, how can I help you"? I'm thinking all the usual questions. What kind of questions do you think they'll ask me? How should I answer them? What questions will I ask them?

"I've seen a Security Job, working nights", he says. "I've passed my training, thanks to you... the only problem is, I'm on new medication from my doctor and when I take it, it gives me explosive diarrhoea".

I'm not sure how but I managed to keep a straight face. I looked at him and he had no problem telling me this. He displayed no embarrassment, no shame, no nothing.

He goes on to add, "Working nights would be ideal for me. I don't take the tablets everyday but when I do, I get the explosive diarrhoea. If I was working at night, on my own, and I had an accident then no one would be there to see me".

I'm saying nothing. I'm nodding my head in acknowledgement but saying nothing. What do you say?

The burning question he's been building to is "So, when I'm at my interview, should I explain to them that I have Explosive Diarrhoea but it won't impact on my job"?

Let me explain something for you. Although, we're in an interview booth for some privacy, the office is mainly open plan and my client is loud so I imagine most of the office heard our discussion, my colleagues, the other clients, anyone within a 5 mile radius to the office.

I don't often discourage clients from applying for jobs but I advised this particular client to speak with his doctor. Maybe, just maybe, he wasn't fit for work at the moment.