Avoid Difficult Questions Gracefully

I experienced humiliation once, and vowed never to be caught off guard again. Naivety and innocence are not assets when it comes to the business world. You need to perfect your own version of what I call ‘boardroom dancing’.

Having seen a number of people crash and burn in my corporate career, and also their public humiliation I vowed never to succumb.

Office politics is filled with various personalities, and they all have their strengths and weaknesses. Being human we all do too.

Part of being a good ‘politician’ within a corporation is to avoid humiliation in front of colleagues, where your credibility can take a nose dive. Credibility and trust are two qualities hardest to regain once lost.

People who know the corporate game and how to play it, will pre- think their moves. Many are like skilled chess players, particularly those with well developed manipulative powers.

They plan ahead what questions they will ask. Their questions are designed to expose vulnerability. Often they do this to take the spotlight away from their own projects or short comings. They can use this as a distraction, or it can be a power game. They want to show colleagues and superiors their ‘insight’ and understanding of the business.

In the worst case scenario, they just don’t like the person they design their questions for, or they want to use their backs as a step ladder to climb over them, like rats scrambling for a morsel.

There is a skill I learnt on a course I attended for how to engage with the media. There was a lot that we learnt on that course but this was one that stuck in my mind. It is one I use when asked a difficult question even in a personal situation.

It can best be explained in a dialogue situation, the principles will become clear.

Turning Judges into advisors

First let me say in any high powered business meeting you need to anticipate, what questions can be asked of you. You need to think like the manipulators, and remove their source of power. If there is anything within your project team or any part of your portfolio that is a challenge, state it upfront before the question is asked. This way you remove the power of the question as you have already highlighted the issue.

Example: “Before we begin, I would like to draw everyone’s attention to the following within my portfolio, these are the challenges we have faced and these are the solutions we have come up with. Now I would appreciate any advice from the participants here today if they have other thoughts on how we can address these. If none are forthcoming I will continue with what myself and my team are suggesting. Then lay out the challenges you face and what you have done and your thinking on the solutions.

This way you take the wind out of the sales of the manipulator. You show everyone present you have identified and thought through the challenges. You change their roles from questioners to advisors. This keeps their egos in tact and keeps your integrity and credibility with the leadership group. Always manage the egos, people will die to defend their egos.

Defending and deflecting with grace

Now on a more personal note, when you are chatting generally with colleagues or with someone one on one, and they ask you a rather personal question. Or something that you do not want to answer, I suggest you handle it like this.

“Why would you like to know?” smile gracefully as you say it. Put the ball back in their court and let them defend their reason for prying. Whatever the reason is that they come back with, you can respond, by saying if I were to ask a similar question of you, would you be willing to answer it? If they say yes, you can turn the question back on them or say well that is why we are all different, and that’s what makes the world very interesting, then move onto something else. This is a good way to expose and deflect questions you are not willing to answer. Always remember in most situations you needn’t feel obliged to answer any question posed to you.

Do it always with grace and poise and you will gain the respect of all in attendance.

Final Thoughts:

Always be prepared, know and anticipate difficult question that could arise in any business context. Think about the discussions and where they could go, prior to any meeting. Prepare for the most difficult questions.

When asked a question that is too close to home, ask the reason why the questioner is asking and smile. “Why would you want to know what you are asking?”

Whatever the reason is that the questioner gives you can turn the question back on them and say “I’m curious, would you answer such a question of yourself.” If they reply they would, you can then state. ‘Ok go ahead then’. If they do and now ask you to answer the same you can say. “That is why we are all different and that is what makes the world an intriguing place.” Move on to other subjects. “Now what I really want to discuss is …..”

Remember this:

Anticipation, highlighting the challenges and your thinking, turning judges into advisors.

Defending and deflecting with grace.