Annoying Phrases You Hear Around the Office Every Day
There are some things people say in the office that is so annoying that you just question your role in the universe, and may even force you to take a step back to question why you work there.
When working in an office complex, there are always a few sayings that that are either annoying, irritating, or emotionally draining. Whether it's your boss approaching your desk, another employer, or that coworker, you will need to deal with a lot of annoying people who will frustrate you into alcoholism.
But maybe we are exaggerating.
Maybe these people aren't so annoying. Or, just maybe, they are. There are some things people say in the office that is so annoying that you just question your role in the universe, and may even force you to take a step back to question why you work in this madhouse office. These are the worst offenders...
- So can you believe what happened on [show you missed this week]? I can't believe that [favorite character] was killed by [stupid thing]!
- So I noticed you keep ordering out. You know, all those carbs are going to make you fat. (Said usually as you're eating a cupcake or some other dessert).
- Can you come into my office before you leave today? There's something we need to... discuss...
- Can you come in on Saturday?
- So you were late today. Better make more of an effort to get here on time! (Stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic for two hours.)
- *loud eating noises* BHREAFHEAWFUEOWAFEAVELA *nods as if you know what they just said with their mouth full*
- Hey, can you have that thing by my desk in an hour? *never gives context to what "that thing" is*
- Did you watch [show you don't care about] last night? *keeps talking as if you care*
- LOOK AT MY CHILDREN!!!! *shoves photos of a sickening cute nature in your face*
- Did you file those reports like I asked you to?
- Can you fix the copying machine? I don't know how to put paper into it.
- Does anyone have a plunger?
- How do you make copies?
- How do you make emails?
- How do you-- *You stupid waste of carbon-flesh, do you really think I hold the secrets of technology? Do I look like the IT Guy?*
- Hey, who's the IT Guy? *Says name* What does s/he look like? *Tries to explain* Can you be more specific?
- We're collecting money for my daughter's Girl Scout troop. Do you want to buy my overpriced cookies?
- *passing by the boss's office* YOU $#@%ING MOTHER $#@(ER! GO PULL YOUR $#!( OUT OF YOUR DAMN-$#@(! MOUTH AND-- *walks quickly away*
- You watch the sportsball game last night? Who do you think is gonna win the Big Title Thingy?
- What team you rootin' for? *answers honestly* Oh, you have crap taste.
- What team you rootin' for? *lies so they don't get angry* I bet you don't even own a cheesehead!
- You don't go to games? What? Are you a poverty stricken loser?
- I went to the game last night, and had a far better time than you had lazing around on a sofa doing nothing.
- So what music you listen to?
- Can you spot me some money for lunch? I'll pay you back... some day.
- God, your choice in food is lame.
- So I pushed a button and my whole computer is blue screening. Can you fix everything for me?
- So my desk is being inspected, and the boss is gonna kill me if they find *contraband* in my desk. Can you hide it for me?
- Can you not breath so loud? It's disrupting me.
- So your outfit is distracting the other workers, and I'll have to ask you to change into something better.
- You can work overtime tonight, right? Greaaaat.
- You've been doing a great job at work right now, but do you know what would be even better? If you did everything differently.
- Our company computers have a virus. You're gonna need to do everything you just did these last few weeks over again, okay?
- Oh? We were having the cake in the lunchroom. It's all gone now. Where were you?
- When convenient, come into my office immediately.
- You're fired.
I suffer from lycanthropy--a form of schizophrenia that leads me to believe I transform into a wolf under the light of the full moon. This has no impact on my writing; I just think it’s really cool, even though I take medicine for it. Though this medicine doesn’t stop me from turning into a man-sized wolf every full moon. Great for Halloween costumes.