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All I Wanted was an Easy Dinner

Food and Restaurants

By Michelle DevonPublished 2 years ago 3 min read

So for the most part, I am still unable to stand for more than a few seconds at a time without excruciating pain. My leg and foot is healing, but with healing comes pain... the skin pulled tightly, and when the blood rushes to the foot...

... well, I’ll spare you. Ain’t nobody got time for my issues.

The point is, I can’t stand to cook dinner right now, and the rest of the house was feeling lazy, so we agreed to buy pizza and chicken wings. Me, I like alfredo spinach pizza, with roma tomatoes on a thin crust. The thinner the better. Sometimes, when I’m adventurous and not taking Levaquin which makes my tummy upset, I order it with jalapenos. I’m not adventurous today, so I’m going with the easy order. Shoot, I’m not even getting bacon this time.

So that’s what we ordered today. Let’s review: thin crust alfredo with spinach and roma tomatoes.

But when we got it, the pizza had mushrooms on it - I don’t do mushrooms. It was also pan crust - I don’t do pan crust. I’m just not a bread person. My family loves pan crust Hawaiian. Yuck.

Okay, so we call Papa John’s back and tell them what they did wrong. The man on the phone agrees, oopps, they screwed up, so we’ll bring you another pizza.


Wait. Wait. Wait.

Half an hour later, they deliver a new pizza. This time, it’s thin crust, all right, but now it has mushrooms and bell peppers on it - neither or which I eat on a pizza - but it’s also got sausage, ham, bacon, pepperoni, and beef... and did I mention, no spinach and no alfredo sauce?


We call back to the store.

By this point, I’m figuring I’m going to get a spit pizza anyway and won’t be able to eat it, yanno? But my baby calls back anyway... and we order the pizza AGAIN. Granted, they are bringing it back to us for free, but that’s sorta not the point if you can’t eat it, right?

So this time we make sure they know what we ordered... a thin crust spinach alfredo pizza, no mushrooms, add roma tomatoes.

It’s not that hard.

So what’s the third pizza we get?

A thin crust spinach alfredo pizza with mushrooms and jalapenos - no tomatoes.

I gave up.

Seriously. It can’t be that hard to get a pizza right. I’m not expecting rocket science or anything like that. I just want a simple pizza the way I asked and paid for. Easy peasy.

(shaking head)

I’ll eat the chicken wings instead. At least I'm fairly certain they haven't been spit on. I don't have that assurance with the repeated pizzas, even if they weren't my fault.

My sweetheart tells me I should get what I order, but I just have had enough of the pizzapalooza.

So, party at my houses - we have three extra, large pizzas! Come on over!

Everyone else enjoyed their Hawaiian chicken BBQ pizza. Pineapples on pizza? Blech. I don't know who eats pineapple on pizza. It's not traditional at all. That's almost as bad as mushrooms all slimy all over pizza. At least it’s not okra. I could maybe pick mushrooms off and forget how slimy they can be, but okra makes me downright ill. Ugh.

I can stand roasted mushrooms that cook up crisp and even chewy, but the slimy mushrooms that are super chewy are just gross. That's why I didn't order any mushrooms on my pizza.

Still I know some who would hate my roasted roma tomatoes, so to each their own.

It's hard to go wrong with pizza. There's something for everyone, if they get it right the first, third or fifth time, that is.


About the Creator

Michelle Devon

An award-winning author and professional dreamer....Michelle Devon lives on the southern Gulf Coast of Texas with five amazing parrots, and a very tolerant cat.

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