A Light That Wasn't Right

“If it seems too good to be true, it probably is." Remember that, if nothing else, from this sad tale.

It came through on my credit card as just over $46 dollars. But the light looked so good. See it above? Great, right? Bright. Big. Clean lines. Long lasting LEDs. Room for 4 "AAA" batteries. A 3-meter motion sensor. A magnetic strip or sticker for attachment almost anywhere. And I was to get 5 of them! Five! That was less than $10 each!

"Wow!"

The online content spoke about buyers having more safety, secure mounting strips, high powered LEDs and more! They were shown throughout a high-end home in exactly the places I needed them too! I thought gleefully "We could put a couple on the basement stairs. One in the kitchen for late night snacks. One in our bedroom for late night tripless trips to the bathroom. By the electrical panel if a breaker trips? Maybe one in the closet? Life would be soooo much easier, right?"

My first clue should have been the unknown company I was buying from. "Express..." something or other. Or maybe something or other "... express." No Canadian Tire. No Ikea. No Amazon. No Home Depot. No neighbourhood hardware store, even. But instead "Express something or other..." Maybe it would at least get here fast. Online ordering was quick enough, after all.

The next clue came 4-6 weeks later.

The box was big enough. Maybe... My first thought was "Wow! They must be really powerful and compact." Then I opened the outer box. There, stuck on top of the bubble wrapped surprise was a card in English that gave detailed instructions on how to return the item for a full refund. "Not a good thing to lead with." I thought, as I skimmed the fine print and complex instructions. Still excited, I set the card aside.

Then came the bubble wrap. It was high quality bubble wrap, as far as I could tell, based on my limited experience with bubble wrap. Peeling off the tape, I unrolled the ample wrap to reveal a single white box about the size of a small cigar.

It was about half the size of the light above. But it did have something in common with it, beyond the exact shape.

It had a barely visible symbol for 4 "AAA" batteries. My heart sank as my blood pressure rose. I thought to myself "There is no way four AAA batteries are going to fit in there! Not with any room left for actual lights or electronics, in any case. And where was the powerful magnetic strip? And what about the four other lights I ordered?!" as my mind recalled the almost fifty-dollar charge on my poor credit card.

I pulled out all the remaining bubble wrap. Emptiness was all there was. I even checked with my wife to see if there were maybe more boxes delivered. Nope. I re-read the card to return the light. It was too late. The box was opened. And I had popped the poorly fitted lid to the battery compartment. I had bought a bunch of AAA rechargeable batteries. Turns out I would only need two. So much for blinding lights. Blinded by stupidity, more like it.

"Sigh."

Just goes to show you, no matter how fast the world gets, no matter how magical technology seems, no matter that cars will soon all be self driving and Mars will be populated within my lifetime... Click here. Tap that. Auto-fill credit card info. Reminders of uncompleted virtual shopping carts. Best deal ever. For a limited time only...

It is said that every decade or two each generation needs to learn lessons from the previous ones.

Stories forever need to be re-told if we are to remember the lessons.

“It is easier than ever to separate a fool from their money."

“Some things are still too good to be true, after all.”

“Shysters and shylocks haven't gone anywhere.”