A Jar of Lard

In 1956, I was in my thirties and the mother of three children. The first two are sons, one is nine and the other is six. The youngest is a girl, three years old, still have to hold in their arms.

One day in the early summer of that year, I was feeding the pigs at my home in Heyuan, when the township postman delivered a letter from my man Lao Pan, saying that the organization had given a settlement fee and that forestry workers could bring their families. He asked me to take care of the things at home and take the children to join him.

Old Pan grew up without a father or mother, he had a brother, also in Heyuan. At that time, there was nothing of value at home, I gave him bedding, pillows, curtains, tables and chairs, spatulas, ladles, oil lamps. I sold the pigs at a low price to pay for the road; the house, a crooked two-room mud house, was difficult to sell. I was in a hurry when Huo Da-eye from the village came to my door. Huo Da-eye is a butcher, his family is rich, he told me that he wanted the house as a slaughterhouse, asked me to exchange a jar of lard for the house okay. Seeing my hesitation, he said the old Pan stay in the Daxinganling he heard people say, there are more than half a year is winter. In addition to boiled soybeans in salt water there is no other food, it is difficult to see meat. He said this, I live heart, followed him to see the altar of lard.

That is a snow blue altar, glazed, shiny. Not to mention the things inside, the appearance alone, I liked it at first glance. I have seen the altar, either pewter or ginger, bald, solid and durable, but not subject to look. This altar, born with a soul-sucking strength, not only the color and luster is beautiful, the body shape is also beautiful. It is a foot high, two spans wide, slightly convex belly, like a woman's four or five months of pregnancy. Its strangulation is bright yellow, like wearing a gold collar, joyful. Before I even looked at the lard in the altar, I told Huo Da-eye that I would be happy to use it for a house.

I lifted the lid of the altar and smelled a strong fragrance of oil, only the newly refined lard will have such a rush of aroma ah. Looking at the oil, it filled the altar, unlike what I thought, only more than half of the altar. That a jar of lard at least twenty pounds ah. The lard is snowy white and delicate, but I'm still afraid that Huo Da-eye will inject good oil on top, the following condensation is oil sludge. I found a sorghum stalks, want to explore a falsehood. I inserted the sorghum stalks into the lard, Huo Da-eye in a sigh of relief. I inserted very slowly, sorghum stalks into a very smooth, all the way to the bottom, there is no slight obstruction, indicating that the oil is no impurities. I pulled out the sorghum stalks, Huo Da-eye said, this altar of lard is newly refined, with two pigs good board oil, he instructed me not to give the lard to others to eat, who want to scoop a spoon two spoons also can not, must keep their own, because this altar of lard he is prepared specifically for me. He said if I gave it to someone I didn't know, it would be like trashing his heart. I agreed, picked up the jar of lard and went out of the yard.

I led the three children on the road. The eldest was able to help with the work, so I let him carry four bowls, a handful of chopsticks, five pounds of millet and an aluminum mason jar. The second one, I did not leave him idle, he carried two jars of pickles and a pile of corn cakes. I made up a big wicker basket, put my clothes and the children's clothes underneath, and then let the oldest sit on it, so I was carrying the clothes and the children. I was holding the lard jar in my arms.

It was July, the rainy season. Before leaving, Lao Pan's brother gave me an oil paper umbrella. I put it in the wicker basket. When Lao-san was bored in the basket, he used it as sugar cane and nibbled on it.

We first took a two-hour carriage ride from Heyuan to Linguang railway station. We waited there for three hours, and when it was dark, we got on the train to Nengjiang. It was like a donkey that had just finished rolling in the mud, and it was gray and bald. The small train is a two-person seat, there are not many people on board. Other passengers saw me with my children, this one helped me to unload the basket, that one helped me to pick up the things in the hands of the children. Before we settle down, the train is like a pendulum swing, bam bam bam open. It does not matter that this pendulum, the second standing in the aisle to shake down, his head knocked on the corner of the seat, immediately bruised, crying in pain. I thought straight fear, in case the second knock is the eye, blind, which I still have the face to see the old Pan which.

I put the lard altar under the tea table. As soon as the train is close to the station platform, it hurriedly catched to protect, afraid that it was shaken down like the second.

It is not easy to go out with three children. At one time this one said he was hungry, another said he had to poop and pee, and another said he was cold. I was looking for food, then led them to the toilet, and then rummage through clothes. After dark, the light in the carriage is dark, the little things are tired of tossing and turning, the oldest leaning against the window, the second lying on the seat, the third in my arms, are asleep. I do not dare to sleep, afraid of confusion after the past, lost things and children. Stayed up all night, at dawn, we arrived in Nengjiang.

According to the letter from Lao Pan, I found the long-distance passenger station. The bus to Heihe three days a trip, the ticket is expensive, we came unluckily, just left a, wait for the next trip to two days. I was afraid of the cost of staying at the hotel, so I bought a cheap bus ticket, the same afternoon on the road.

What do you mean by a big board car? It is an open car, the carriage body is surrounded by about eighty centimeters high wooden panels, looks like a pig pen fence. There were about thirty people in the car, all going to Heihe. The car is covered with hay, people are sitting on the grass. The front of the car is a good position, stable, when the road does not feel particularly upside down, people see me with three children, let me sit in the front of the car. I was afraid that the lard jar would be broken, so I put it between my legs. I held the children in my arms and hooked the altar with my legs, causing others to laugh. A man whispered to the woman beside him: this woman must be thinking of a man, the altar is held in the crotch. I gave them a blank look, and they rushed to praise the altar looks good.

The most fearful thing about riding in a convertible is not the poisonous sun, but the rain. When it rained, we had to open a large sheet, propped on top of the head, and gather in a pile to avoid the rain. Thunderstorm does not matter, clattering down a ten or eight minutes will live, if caught in a heavy rain, it will be a disaster. The road will turn over, can not go forward, you have to stop in the middle of the inn.

We left Nengjiang when the sky was fine, after two hours of walking, the sky is cloudy. The road was potholed and the driver was driving hard, which made my bones hurt and many people were screaming that their intestines were going to be broken by the cemetery. The clouds grew thicker and thicker, then lightning flashed in the air, and the rain crackled down before we could tear the sheet away. I was at the front of the car, and I had to hold the sheet and take care of the children, so I left the lard jar aside. At that time, I only thought I had fewer hands, and it would have been nice to have more hands. The rain got heavier and heavier, the car drove more and more slowly, and the sheeting rattled so loudly that it felt like a river was flowing down from the sky instead of raindrops hitting it. The people under the sheet were huddled together, and it was a hoot. This woman thought the man behind her was on her ass, and that woman thought the old man next to her had bad breath, and the complaints never stopped. It's not just women who talk too much, but poultry as well. One man brought a cage of chickens, and another man carried two pig lambs in a sack. The chickens clucked their necks in the narrow cage, and the pigs turned the sacks around. The boss saw the lambs arching the sacks to the larder, so he kicked them. The owner of the lamb got angry and scolded the boss: He is a pig and does not know what to do, you are also a pig? The boss is young, but he has a strong mouth, and he speaks with a clear head. He said, "It is not a human being, so it does not know what to do; you are a human being, so why don't you know what to do? All the people under the sheet were amused by the boss's words.

In the evening, the car finally stopped at the Lao Culing Inn. Despite the sheeting, the rain was so heavy that I squatted on the edge of the sheeting and the back of my clothes were wet from the rain. When I walked into the inn with the altar in my arms, the shopkeeper took an instant liking to it. He asked me, where did you get this antique ah? I said it was just a lard jar. He tsked and touched the altar with his mouth. His wife looked angry and said, "Look at its fine hair, touching an endless? The shopkeeper said, "The altar is not a woman's ass, what can't I touch? The shopkeeper asked me, how much is it worth, and sell me the oil with the altar, okay? I said I used two mud houses in exchange for this altar of lard, I like, not for sale. The shopkeeper rolled his eyes at me, but his wife gave me a wink.

We waited for the sky to clear at Lao Ciu Ling, and it was a three-day stop. At that time, the inn was a bare board store, up and down two layers, each layer of the store can lie more than twenty people. Usually men lived in the top bunk, women and children lived in the bottom bunk. There were many people, the quilt is not enough to make, two people with one. In order to save some money, my children and I do not eat the meals of the inn, eat their own corn cakes and pickles. It was raining and cold, and I was afraid that the children would get sick from the cold, so I borrowed their cookhouse and used the stuffed pot and millet I brought to make porridge. As soon as I entered the cookhouse, the shopkeeper pestered me to buy the lard jar, saying he was giving me more money to keep his wife out of it. I hate men who are separated from their wives, so I said you can give me a gold mountain, but not for this altar! The shopkeeper was angry, and he wanted to charge me for the firewood to cook the porridge. I said you think the money in your hand is not hot, just accept it! He shouted at me: You're a woman with a heart of gold, and it's hot in your hand!

In the inn, people sleep on the bunk, things have to be piled on the floor. Of course, the things that can be placed in the room where people sleep are dead things. Live things, like pig lambs and chickens brought by travelers, are placed in the stable. But where the inn, there are no horses. Children like to play in the stables. The day before I left Lao Ciu Ling, I went to the stable to look for Lao Er and Lao Xiao, where the shopkeeper feeding the horses pointed out his horses and said, "Tell me, which one you like, I'll let you take it away! I asked, "Why do you have to have this altar? The shopkeeper said, "A good object is like a good woman, you can't forget it! We are not lucky enough to marry a good woman, but a good altar around, it is also a thought in our hearts! Who would have thought that his wife would have heard that? The floor of the stable was covered with hay, so no one heard her come in. This woman is really fierce, she did not say a word, head towards the tethered horse post, then fainted, the forehead corner of a crack, a stream of blood flowing out, the children playing a game of catching mice are frightened.

That night, the rain stopped and the moon came out. The next morning, before the chickens crowed, the driver yelled at us to get on the road. When I got into the car with the lard jar in my arms, I saw the shopkeeper's wife standing by the car. She had a medicine cloth on her injured forehead and her face was gray. She saw me called out sister, fluttered to my knees, let me leave that altar! She said this night to understand, if a man around the living dead things do not let him like, the man is living in the cloudy sky, she did not want to see her man after the daily gloomy face. After saying that, she cried. I was at a loss as to what to do when the driver brought the shopkeeper. The shopkeeper was moved when he heard that his wife was kneeling to give him an altar. He pulled his wife up and said, "After three days of rain, the ground is damp, you have arthritis, if kneeling is sick, they suffer, right? If you want to kneel, kneel on my stomach at night, where it is hot. He said that, the onlookers were amused. The shopkeeper said to me, good-looking things are troublemakers, we do not want that thing, you quickly hold it away. He said so, but he looked at the altar of the eyes still lingering.

When we left the Lao Crowling Inn, the sun was red and the shopkeeper was holding his wife back to the house. My eyes were wet and I felt that the altar had not been exchanged for the house for nothing, it was really a treasure. Everyone was happy to see the couple getting along. The men whistled and the women hummed a song. Birds also followed the lively, the air came a burst of cheerful chirping. Someone said, now that there are no tourists in the inn, the owner must have taken off his pants as soon as he entered the room, so that his wife came up to kneel belly it! Everyone laughed. My second asked, the belly is so soft, can kneel people? A yellow-bearded man said, the man has a rope, use it to tie a woman, a tether a spirit, kneel, kneel! Everyone laughed even harder. Lao Er loves to get to the bottom of everything, he asked, where is the rope? Quickly tell me ah.

We laughed all the way. At noon, the car stopped at the Chaoan River, we went to a small store to eat something simple, and then rush. When the sun set, we arrived at the Black River.

Heihe is the biggest city I've ever been to in my life, and the Heilongjiang River flows right through the city. The city has tall buildings, smooth roads, and jeeps. There were many people riding bicycles on the streets, which made me think that the place was quite affluent. Some women wore skirts and showed their legs, so I could see that the place was quite open. The passenger terminal is right by the pier, and before the car stopped, I could see the passenger and cargo boats on the pier.

The boat going upstream to Mohe has two trips per week, one for the big boat and one for the small boat. People there call the big boat the big dragon passenger and the small boat the small dragon passenger. The morning we arrived, the small dragon passenger had just left, and the big dragon passenger would not leave until two days later. I was happy to stay in Heihe for two days, thinking that this time to the old Pan, head into the mountains, it is possible to come out again in which month of the year, I have to save some good scenery in my head, when empty to have a thought ah. After buying the boat tickets, I took my children to the store and bought 20 feet of blue twill and 5 feet of plain fabric, thinking of making new clothes for the children in the New Year. On the other side of the Black River was the Soviet Union, and there was a store that sold Soviet scarves, so I bought one for myself because the color and texture were good and not expensive. In addition to these, I also bought a few bars of soap and a few packs of candles, and basically spent all the money I had. When I got on board, I only had six dollars left in my pocket. But at that time, the money was really useful, we a few mothers and children on the boat to eat a meal, a dollar is enough.

The big dragon passenger is slower than the small dragon passenger, and it is against the water, the road should be a day to, but walked two days. The boat is much more comfortable than an open car, stable and cool. During the day, I led my children to stand at the stern of the boat to see the landscape, watch the river gulls, and also watch the cooks on the boat catching fish. At that time, the fish were so prosperous that if you cast a net and set it up every half hour, you could get at least a basin of fish. The children had a good time, and when it was time to get off the boat, they all couldn't let go.

The place where we got off the boat is called Kai Kukang, some people read it in vain, it became the open crotch. The small fork of the river where Lao Pan is operating, there are still more than 50 miles away from Kukang. As soon as we got off the boat, a tall, thin guy came up to me and asked, "Is this Pan's wife? I said yes. He said, my name is Cui Dalin, director Pan asked me to pick you up, I've been waiting for a week. I said to him that the journey out was not smooth, in the Lao Ciu Ling rain delayed three days, in Heihe waiting for the big dragon guest and delayed two days. The young man said, I still want to, if the boat can not wait for you again, I will return to the forest. Cui Dalin took the lard altar in my arms, said, Pan sister-in-law, you can really stand, leading the three children, and reverse the train and change the boat, but also holding an altar!

The first impression I got from Cui Dalin was that he was smart and could talk. He said he was the correspondent of the forestry field.

When I followed Cui Dalin to the inn, I thought, "Old Pan has become the director, it seems to be doing a good job here. But he did not reveal a word in the letter. He is such a person, good and bad things do not like to tell women.

The Big Dragon stopped at Kaikukang for 20 minutes and then left, it still has three stops to the end. We stayed overnight in Kaikukang, and early the next morning, we were on our way.

Cui Dalin prepared a pair of stretchers, carrying two baskets. He let the oldest sit in the front basket, said the boys are skinny, not afraid of the sun. The youngest sat in the back basket, saying that his figure did shade, the youngest in the back basket will not feel too sunny. He also divided the things we brought in two baskets. He carried the burden in front, and the oldest and I followed behind. I put the lard jar in the back basket and carried it on my shoulder, which was much stronger than carrying it in my arms.

If you walk 50 miles lightly, it will take more than half a day, not to mention that we carry the basket, and walk the forest paths. Although Cui Dalin has the strength, but he picked a half-hour or so, but also to stop to catch his breath. When resting, the boss loves to ask, how far is it? Cui Dalin always said, "Soon, over that mountain in front of us. At that time, there were so many trees on the mountain, larch trees as thick as buckets and birch trees as thick as bowls could be seen everywhere. There were also many birds in the forest, chirping beautifully. When we were thirsty, we drank the spring water, and when we were hungry, we ate a handful of fried rice bought from the Kaikukang Inn. There are many wildflowers in the forest, and the young and old sit in the back basket, reaching out every now and then to grab one, whether it's a red lily, white peony or purple chrysanthemum, and just fill their mouths. I'm afraid some of the flowers I don't know will hurt her, only let her eat lilies. Probably because she has the fragrance of flowers in her mouth, butterflies and bees love to fly to her mouth, she screamed and waved her little hands to chase them away. What is the most annoying thing in the forest? That is mosquitoes, blind midges and small bites. They are the guys who love to drink human blood. We are walking, they are difficult to mouth, sitting in the basket of the old two and the old small can suffer, by noon, I found that the old two left eyelid let the blind midge to bite swollen, he looks one eye big, one eye small. As for the youngest, her neck and arms had been bitten by mosquitoes in many places, with a red spot. I was so distressed, I couldn't help but complain about Lao Pan, he didn't think about how hard it was for me to lead the three kids all the way, but only sent someone to come, truly ruthless ah. I thought that when I got there, I must not sleep with him under the same blanket and hang him out to dry.

We dragged our feet until the afternoon, when we suddenly heard the sound of horse hooves coming from deep in the dense forest. Cui Dalin put down his burden and said to me, this must be the hunting Oroqen people. Sure enough, a sudden work, I saw a brownish-red horse leaping out of the forest, and on the horse was an Oroqen man with a hunting rifle and wearing a cloth robe. When he saw us, he jumped off the horse and asked Cui Dalin where we were going. Cui Dalin said to go to the small forked river business. The Oroqen man said he could send us there by horse. I asked Cui Dalin to unload the load and hang the basket on the horse, but Cui Dalin said he was not tired, but let me and the boss ride the horse. The boss was too timid and refused to ride. I have never ridden a horse, but look at the horse is quite docile, and I'm tired, see the horse with a savior, on the back of the lard altar boldly on the horse. When I first got on it, I wobbled a few times, and after walking for a while, I got used to it. At the beginning, Oroqen people helped me to hold the horse, and then he saw that I rode steadily, he went to grab Cui Dalin's burden, saying that it was a change of shoulders, so that he could take a break. Oroqen people's heart is really good.

The road in the mountains is full of potholes, and even an experienced horse can lose its hoof when walking on such a road. After being comfortable on the horse for more than an hour, we passed a willow bush with exposed boulders. Unexpectedly, the horse tripped over a stone, and it went sideways, and I fell off the horse. I was not much hurt, just elbows and knees broke a little skin, but the lard jar poor thing, fell broken. I cried when I thought of the altar held all the way, almost to the place but something happened. I felt sorry for the white lard, and even more for the beautiful altar, if I had known that, I might as well have left it at the Lao Ciu Ling Inn. When Cui Dalin saw me crying, he consoled me, saying that the broken porcelain of the altar was pulled apart, and the lard was still edible. He brought all the things that can hold oil, stuffed jars, bowls, a handful of lard to pull in. After these objects were full, I opened the oil paper umbrella given by my brother, and put the remaining lard into the umbrella. The good lard was stained with grass, and some ants were burrowing around in it, so my heart ah, not to mention how sad! But I can look on the bright side, thinking that this altar is too beautiful, so the fate of the thin, broken, just broken.

I don't dare to ride a horse anymore. Oroqen people feel sorry, he said to the boss, he can hold him together on the horse, the boss was scared and said, I can walk. Oroqen people want to sit on the second and the youngest basket hanging on the horse, they are also wailing, unwilling. They must be afraid of being upside down like me. As a result, the horse ended up carrying only the lard in the back basket. Afraid they bumped each other, the Oroqen man stroked a few grasses and tucked them between the stuffed jars, bowls and half-open oil paper umbrellas. Every half an hour, he went to replace Cui Dalin to help him carry the burden for a while.

In this way, we walked and stopped, the sun went down, the moon went up, the hares went back to their nests, and the shiny-eyed owls came out. More than eight o'clock in the evening, to the small fork of the river business. At that time the basket of the old two and the young have slept over. The old Pan saw me and had the heart to joke, saying that there are two cowboys to help me carry the burden, the blessing is not small ah.

At that time, there were only seven or eight houses in the management office, and there were about thirty workers, seven or eight of them with family members, who arrived not many days earlier than me. The house we lived in was a slab of mud, very old, and old Pan said that it was still left by the pseudo-Manchu Gold Mining Bureau. I said, then I have to pay attention to some, maybe one day digging the ground, digging out a piece of dog head gold it!

Oroqen people sent us to the horse and rode away. I think the old Pan did not stay overnight. Old Pan said, they are not used to sleeping in the house, like to live in the forest, you stay him, he will not agree.

I tossed my bones, and after settling the children, I ironed my feet and went to the bed. I have not seen Lao Pan for almost two years, I have a stomach full of grievances. When the lard jar was broken, I wanted to give him some color at night, but once I saw the people, I just couldn't get up, and looked at him everywhere, but in the end, they still slept together.

In just a day or two, the children of the Little Fork River became familiar. Old Pan said that at the end of the year, there will be a group of workers, when the organization will send a teacher, then the boss will have to go to school. Otherwise, he does not go to school at this age, in the mountains will be delayed.

I scraped the lard from the stuffed jar, bowl and umbrella into a basin with a spoon and used it to make dishes. At that time, not much land was reclaimed from the Little Fork River, plus the vegetable seeds were incomplete, so the men only planted beans and potatoes. We women who stayed at home found an Oroqen man who hunted in the mountains and asked him to teach us to recognize wild vegetables. After picking watercress, mountain onion and old mulberry celery, we cooked them for the men, and they ate well every day, and had more strength when they went to the mountain to cut wood. The best way to cook wild vegetables with lard is to eat the oil. Sometimes, when they eat, they find ants in the vegetables, which are the ants that slip in when the lard is spilled. They are greedy for the blessing of the mouth, but their lives are on the line. The ants were soaked in oil, so it was a pity to throw them away and eat them together. To the small fork of the river not two months, I got pregnant. The reason for the lard is that the fetus is particularly pregnant, and when the mushrooms come down in the fall, everyone can see that I have. The men joked about old Pan, saying, "Pan sister-in-law only came two months, your seeds sprouted, the ability to ah. The old Pan laughed and said, it's all the ants in the lard, that thing long strength ah!

The Daxinganling entered winter in October. At that time, the snow is really big ah, one after another. The sky is white, the ground is white, trees and people are lined with this one and two white, have become black. The men logging, women can not be idle, in addition to taking the children cooking, but also have to go up the mountain to pull firewood. When we came across a camphor pine with bumps on it, we sawed it off, split it into pieces, and used it to start the fire. We also put the bumps into a large iron pot, filled with water, and boiled the oil. The boiled oil looks like amber and can be used to light lamps. The lamp oil emitted smoke with a strong pine aroma, which smelled great. I was about to give birth while boiling pine oil. It was April 1957, and in the south, the wheat was green, but it was still snowing heavily in the Little Fork River and the Heilongjiang River was frozen over. Although there is a local health clinic, but the only doctor can only treat a headache, fever, minor trauma or something. When it comes to big problems, it is dumb, then you have to put on a plow, with a stretcher to send the seriously ill to Kaikukang.

At that time, women were most afraid of giving birth to a child in childbirth. In that kind of place, people say throw away. But the fetus was so big and painful that I rolled all over the bed, but I couldn't give birth. Fortunately, it was dark in the evening when the men came back from the mountains. The doctor at the health clinic looked at me like that and got scared. She told Lao Pan to hurry up and find a way to send me out of the mountains. If I go to Kaikukang, it will take three hours on a fast horse, not to mention that I can't get on a horse. At this point, Cui Dalin said, or send it across the river, the Soviet Union where the hospital is good.

In those days, the villages living along the border river of the Heilongjiang River, such as Luoguhe, Malen, Gupu, if you encounter a serious illness that is too late to go to a large hospital, it will be sent to the Soviet Union, such as Galinda, Usumon. Although crossing the border was not allowed, there were guard posts on the Soviet side, but they would let us in if they saw that the people carried were sick. Old Pan was a party member and the leader of the operation, so it was logical to send me to Kaikukang regardless of whether my child and I were dead or alive, to avoid trouble. But Lao Pan is Lao Pan, he did not hesitate at all, immediately ordered people to set the horse to climb the plow, prepare the stretcher, led Cui Dalin, wrapped me with two quilts, went to the Soviet Union. That small village locals call it "Leba Village", Leba means "bread". The Soviets loved to eat Leba, and in summer they could smell the smell of baking bread from the other side of the river. At that time, the Heilongjiang River was still frozen, which saved us the trouble of ferrying. As soon as we crossed the border, two soldiers from the Soviet post came running with their guns, no one spoke Russian. One of them led the way to take us to the hospital. The hospital was small but well-equipped. The doctor was a very old man with a white beard. He took a look at my condition and then gave me a shot and then performed a caesarean section to remove a fat baby boy who was crying. He weighs almost ten pounds, no wonder I couldn't give birth to it. The old Pan looked at the mother and child safe, a bow to the doctor. Because of the rush to come out, we did not bring any gifts, old Pan has a watch, he jerked off from the wrist, to the doctor, people smiled and put the watch back on his wrist. The old Pan turned over the body, turned out half a pack of cigarettes and two pieces of money. The money is RMB, to him can not make, old Pan handed the cigarettes to the doctor. The doctor pointed to me and waved his hand, indicating that he could not smoke in front of the patient. We stayed there for two days because we could not return that day due to the operation. The Soviet doctor fed us and helped us feed the horses. The hospital nurse brought me eggs and bread, and gave the child a set of cotton clothes, blue ground with red flowers, which was very nice. When I was leaving, I was so sad that I kissed the female nurse and the male doctor who operated on me. The soldier at the sentry post took out a page of paper that none of us could read, and asked Lao Pan to sign it and press his handprint.

After returning to the small fork of the river forest, old Pan went to Kaikukang and resigned his director. He said he was disorganized and undisciplined, in order to let his wife give birth safely, crossed the border and did not deserve to be the director. But the organization only gave him a verbal warning, did not discipline him. He came back joyfully from Kaikukang, bought two pounds of wedding candy, and distributed a few to every family in Xiaojihe. The child was born in the Soviet Union, we gave him the first name is "Su Sheng", the second name, it is called Ant. Old Pan said it was not because of the ants nourished in lard, his blood would not be so strong, resulting in my pregnancy fetus is too strong to be born.

The most beautiful of the children is Su Sheng. The wide forehead and thick eyebrows follow the old Pan, high nose and upturned lips follow me. The eyes, neither with me, nor with Lao Pan, not too big, not too small, black and bright, Lao Pan said with the ants, he said that the eyes of ants bright. The people of Little Fork River like him, saying that he was born with a rich face. People rarely call him by his first name, but prefer to call him by his nickname.

When Ant was four years old, Cui Dalin got married. Little fork of the river came a white skinned female teacher, Cheng Ying, Yangzhou people. Perhaps the Jiangnan soil is good, she looks handsome, willow waist, pretty eyebrows and eyes, two large braids of black oil, a swing behind the shoulder, swing men's hearts are panicked. There are three people pursuing her, one is the teacher of Kaikukang Primary School, one is the technician of Xiaojihe Forestry, and Cui Dalin. Finally she still married Cui Dalin, people say Cheng Ying is fancy Cui Dalin family ancestral a gold ring set with emeralds.

In the local area, the night before the wedding there is the custom of "pressing the bed". The so-called "pressure bed" is to find a child to sleep with the groomsmen overnight. It is said that the wedding bed is clean. Cui Dalin and Cheng Ying both like ants, let him to press the bed. The four-year-old child, in general, can not leave the arms of his parents, but we told Ant, let him sleep with Uncle Cui overnight, he happily agreed. When Cui Dalin carried him away, Ant asked, "Do I sleep with Uncle Cui or with Auntie Cheng? I and Lao Pan laughed and said, "If you sleep with Auntie Cheng, Uncle Cui should spank you!

The ants did not press the bed, Cui Dalin said, the child suddenly stomach pain, grunting all night. By dawn, it had subsided. When Lao Pan went to pick up Ant, his stomach had healed, and he took the two pieces of money rewarded to him for pressing the bed, and told Lao Pan that he could earn money for the family to spend.

The wedding of Cui Dalin was very lively, the people of the small forked river forestry field were present. It was a summer Sunday, we set up a tent outside the house, set up a pot and stove, the women cooked seven plates and eight bowls, the men drank, the children smacked the wedding candy to play games, until the evening. The young boys went to the bridal chamber again, the bride and groom tossed until dawn.

We saw the ring on the bride's hand at the wedding. The gold ring is really set with a diamond-shaped emerald, the gem can not be forgotten at a glance, is the kind of no impurities of the bright green, intoxicating green! We women took Cheng Ying's hand, each looked "tsk" called, enviously. Some say it's worth a good house, some say it's worth a cart of red pine, some say it's worth five good horses, and some say it's worth a thousand fathoms of cloth. As long as we can think of good things, it was hit on the analogy. From then on, all we saw of Cheng Ying was the way she wore the emerald ring on her finger. When she held the chalk and wrote on the blackboard, the students said that the words were reflected in a twinkle. In the winter, the green on her ring was a heartwarming sight, as if she had spring hidden on her fingertips.

The children grew up in Little Fork River day by day, and the number of people in the forestry field grew. Little Forked River School has added a male teacher, a single, people say Cui Dalin is very unhappy that he and Cheng Ying work together.

Strange to say, Cheng Ying has been married for several years and has not been pregnant with a child. Her body looks quite good, not like the inability to have children, someone muttered Cui Dalin has a problem. One year, the Spring Festival, the two of them went back to Cheng Ying's mother's house to visit relatives, came back with a large packet of Chinese medicine. Since then, Cui Dalin's house is always wafting the smell of soup and medicine. We guess that is the medicine for infertility. As for who eats, we can't guess, and it's not convenient to ask.

The days in the mountains are slow and fast. It seems to be a sudden work, my temples are white, and old Pan's strength is not as strong as before. Although I had two more pregnancies after giving birth to the ants, none of them could stand. The first one miscarried at three months, the second was born, a girl, only four pounds, I have no milk, only to feed her goat's milk. She was so weak that she became ill twice a day, and when she was three years old, a high fever killed her. After that, I told Lao Pan, we are also running fifty people, there are four children, no more. The old Pan said, not born is also enough, we have the last stroke more powerful ah! That one is, of course, his beloved ants.

Before the "Cultural Revolution", the oldest joined the workforce, as a timber inspector in the small forked river forest. The second one likes to go to school, we let him go to middle school in Kaikukang. The old girl in the small forked river on the elementary school, she took a textbook will be confused, the brain is not handy, Cheng Ying said other children remember a word three or five minutes is enough, she, a day can not learn a word, all fifth grade, not a text can read coherently. But she is handy, will hook curtains, knit sweaters, can also cut clothes, I think girls will these will not worry about marrying. The most worrying thing is Ant, he is good at his homework, hardworking and kind. The school has to build a stove in winter, and the stove in his classroom is all burned by him. Every day before dawn, he went to burn the stove. By the time class started, the classroom was warm.

"The Cultural Revolution began, and relations between China and the Soviet Union became tense. Because I was born in the Soviet Union in the village of Leba ants, old scores were settled, non-saying that Lao Pan was a Soviet agent, saying that the signature of Lao Pan was a certificate of treason. His business director to remove, people were seized to open Kukang, in the ship station to do odd jobs. Cui Dalin also followed the unlucky, was sent to Kailukang grain depot to see the field. Later is the old Pan took the blame on themselves, saying that it was his idea to send his wife to the Soviet Union, and the word was also signed by him, and Cui Dalin did not have the slightest relationship, let him or stay in the small fork of the river, said Cui Dalin in the Kai Kukang, separated from his wife, delaying the planting. People know that Cui Dalin did not have a child thing, put him back to the small forked river. But he can not sit in the office, and workers like the mountain logging.

But Cui Dalin returned to the small forked river not long, Cheng Ying died.

Cheng Ying's life, is the emerald gold ring.

Since Cheng Ying got married, the ring has never left his hand. She wore it when she taught, wore it when she picked water, and wore it when she went to the river to wash clothes. Maybe it is because there has been no child, Cheng Ying later face is not as good as before, people are also thin. One day, Cheng Ying went to the river to wash clothes, came back and found that the ring was lost. A thin person, the fingers naturally followed the thin, plus the soap suds to make bad, the ring must be bald to the river. The small fork of the river people are helping Cheng Ying to find the ring, people in Cheng Ying washing clothes in that section of the river spread people, shallow water with a strainer to fish, deep water by a good water dive into the search, tossed two days, but also did not find.

Cheng Ying without the ring, the whole person is like a lost soul, look at people with drifting eyes, you meet her on the road, greet her, she is like not heard. When she gives a lesson to her students, she also gets stuck in the middle of the lecture. She used to be a sharp person, her clothes were never frayed, her trouser line was always pressed straight, and her braids were well-proportioned. But from the loss of the ring, she is equivalent to lose the amulet, untidy clothes, hair disheveled, teeth stuffed with vegetable leaves also do not know to pick out. From her performance, people secretly say that when she married Cui Dalin, it is true that the figure is wealth, not people.

One night, Cheng Ying did not return. Cui Dalin searched all over the small fork of the river, but no one was seen. Four days later, she was found in a place called "rotten fish pit" in the lower reaches of the Black Dragon River. The corpse swung in the willow bushes on the shore, has decayed. People said that Cheng Ying either went to the river to find the ring when the rapids swept away, or suicide. Without her beloved things, she could not afford to live.

I remembered that the ants went to Cui Dalin to press the bed when the thing that caused stomach pain, it seems that the child is aura, their wedding bed did not bring good luck to the couple.

Cui Dalin from then on the waist is bent, drooping head all day, and who do not talk. Less than forty years old, looks like a little old man. His house from then on no longer smell of soup and medicine wafted out.

Cui Dalin lost his wife, plus he was implicated because of the old Pan, I am very sorry. When Ant was at home, I often sent him to help Cui Dalin do some work, chopping a firewood, sweeping a yard, picking a water. Sometimes when I made something delicious, I gave him a bowl. The people of Little Fork River also took pity on him and often sent vegetables and dry food to his house.

Ant was old enough to know that his father was suffering because of him, and he was very unhappy. He started skipping school and stopped building the stove for the school. Sometimes he walked dozens of miles to see his dad in Kaikukang, carrying a red tassel gun by himself. He said that if anyone dared to move on his dad, he would pick him out with his bayonet! When he was fourteen years old, he was one meter seven, weighing more than a hundred pounds, and his beard had grown out, like a big boy. There is no one in Kukang who doesn't know Ant, and he always looks majestic when he goes there. Even the people who criticized Lao Pan said, "Your life is worth it, you have such a good son!

After Ant stopped going to school, he went to the mountains to cut wood in the winter; in the summer, he followed people to the Heilongjiang River to put in a row, the wood from the water from the small fork of the river to the dock in the Black River. Every time a row, it always takes ten days or eight days. Release row is a dangerous job, as soon as the ant followed the row, I could not sleep, thinking that there are many rapids on the Black Dragon River, in case something happens, how good? So when the ants are put on the row, I always ask the head to have a drink and entrust him to take good care of the ants. The head of the wooden platoon, also known as the "water watcher", is in charge of the hawser, which is equivalent to an oar and plays the role of a rudder. Whether the row is safe or not depends on the skill of the hawker. The head of the water watcher likes Ant, saying that once he gets on the row, it will be calm and quiet all the way. He is the lucky star. A typical wooden row is more than 100 meters long and 30 meters wide, and the row can hold more than 200 cubic meters of wood. A platoon put on the platoon of people always have seven or eight people, the platoon has a pot stove and shelter, you can cook and sleep on it. The head said that the ants like to stand on the row and pee into the river, saying that it is a pleasure. On a good moon night, they drank on the row, and Ant said a quick book. The content of his book was self-written, all the stories of heroes and beauties, and the people in the platoon loved to listen to them.

In 1974, Ant was 18 years old. Many people have introduced him to someone, but Ant said that the husband of the four seas for the family, married to a woman is a burden. In the summer of that year, he went back to the platoon. This time, he changed the fate of the ant.

From the small fork of the river to the Black River on the waterway, to pass through a place called Jinshan. The other side of the mountain, is a small town in the Soviet Union. Generally speaking, the release of row is day and night, that is, every night to find a place to "stop row", the next morning and then "open row". Jinshan section of the waterway rocky boulders, catching the wind that day, the head of the water watcher in the stop row can not grasp the hawser, wooden row spinning, with the wind, has been floating to the Soviet side, a sudden work, and hit the shore of others. At that time, the Soviet Union increased its defenses on the Heilongjiang River, and there were often patrol boats that we called "river rabbits" scurrying around the river. As soon as the platoon leaned against the shore, the river rabbits came after us, and the Soviet soldiers came down with their guns and yelled at the platoon members. The language barrier, the head pointed to the sky, meaning that God blew us here, we did not want to cross the border. The ants puffed out their cheeks and whined like the wind, making the Soviet soldiers laugh. It was late in the evening, and the town was busy with dinner, and the smell of roasted leba wafted over. One of them was wearing a blue bragi, with blond hair in a single braid, big watery eyes, white skin, goose egg-shaped face, and lips that looked like they had just eaten red beans, plump and bright. She didn't look at others, but stared at the ants. Knowing that the Soviets like to drink, the head of the team brought a few bottles of soju from the wooden raft and gave them to them. As for them, they ordered the girl on the shore to go into town and bring sour cucumbers and lepas. The Soviet soldiers and the men who put the platoon sat around the shore, eating and drinking together. The girl, standing behind Ant, helped him break bread and refill his drink. Ant also liked her, look at her face will blush a moment. After eating and drinking, it was dark, the wind stopped, the moon rose, and the head was ready to set the wooden row back to the shore of Jinshan. The girl saw the ant on the row, tearful from the pocket to pull out a small wooden spoon, give him. The handle of the wooden spoon was golden, and the surface of the spoon was golden, with two red leaves and six red beans depicted on it. The ant took the wooden spoon and put it in his heart.

After he came back from the platoon, the ant was not the same as before. He often took the wooden spoon alone and sat in the courtyard, staring. He went to the river once a day, nominally to catch fish, take a bath, or brush his shoes, but everyone understood that he was there to see the other side.

One day, Ant used the net to hang up a red-bellied, fine-scaled fish weighing more than ten pounds. When the fish was brought home, it was still wagging its head and tail. I wanted to make a fish in sauce, fill a can and go to Kaikukang to see Lao Pan. After scraping the fish scales and dissecting it with a knife, I noticed that the fish's belly was unusually large. The belly of a large fish is rare and delicious, I cut open the belly of the fish, a ray of green light shot out, that is wrapped in a ring! Take it out and look, but it is Cheng Ying lost one, I can not believe my eyes! I was afraid that I was mistaken and called out to Ant, who took one look and said, "It's the ring Ms. Cheng is wearing! We put it in a basin of water and washed it again and again with soap to wash off the fish oil and river grass attached to it, and it was as bright as a girl getting married, and a glance at it made people's hearts pound. I think this fish if the early fight up on the good, so Cheng Ying will not die. This also shows that the ring is indeed in her washing clothes when she slipped into the river water. The ants and I hurriedly wrapped the ring with a handkerchief to Cui Dalin's house, wanting to return it. Who knows that Cui Dalin saw the ring after a look at it and cried, said, this is life, life, I can not want the ring. I thought he remembered Cheng Ying sad, said, you now look hard, it is locked in the cabinet. You can't live the rest of your life alone, and you have to find a suitable one, so you can have someone to talk to after blowing out the lights at night. Cui Dalin grabbed my hand and cried like a tearful man, saying, "Mrs. Pan, this ring should be your life, I can't take anything. If it returns to my home, I must die! I said, this thing is so valuable, not my, I can not want. Cui Dalin actually gave me kneeling, begging me to save him and leave the ring. I saw him like that, said, then give it to the ant, the fish he fought up, equal to what he picked up, the ring to keep his future wife with. The ant pulled Cui Dalin up from the ground and simply said, "I like it, I want it! Then the ring was taken over and put in his pocket.

At that time I did not know the secret of Cui Dalin's heart, only as he had no old man, afraid to see the old things.

I fried the fine scaled fish in oil, put a bowl of yellow sauce, slow simmered for three hours, the fish bones are crispy, filled a jar, took a tractor, went to Kaikukang. At that time, from the small fork of the river to the Kai Kukang has been built a simple road, it is much easier to walk, two hours to get there. The people at the boat station were very good to Lao Pan, and did not let him do heavy work, I went, and let him take a day off, and accompanied me to visit the supply and marketing agency. I told Lao Pan about the ring hidden in the belly of the fish, Lao Pan said, it sounds like a myth, only ants can beat up the fish that swallowed the emerald ring ah!

How could I have imagined that by the time I returned from Kaikukang to the Little Fork River, the ant was gone. He left three letters, one to the organization in Kaikukang, saying that his father had become a Soviet agent because he was born in the Soviet Union, and now that he had left China and was permanently cut off from his family, he should put his father back in the Little Fork. One letter was addressed to his brother and sister, saying that he was unfilial, asking them to treat their parents well and to provide for us in our old age. Another letter was written to me and Lao Pan, saying that he would go and never come back, asking us not to be sad and to take care of our health. At the bottom of our letter, he also drew a boy kowtowing, saying that every New Year's Eve, as long as he lives, no matter where he is, he will rush in the direction of the Little Fork River, kowtowing to us.

The ant took away the ring and the wooden spoon depicting the red beans. I understood that he was swimming to the other side. Old Pan is a tough guy, I have never seen him shed tears, but the ant's gone, so he was in pain, as long as anyone mentioned the topic, he shed tears. I was also heartbroken, but for the sake of the old Pan, just have to hold on, I advised him, where the child was born, and finally have to return him to where, this is life ah.

We did not dare to reveal the contents of the letter, only that the ants disappeared, do not know where to go. Otherwise, the old Pan is equal to have a son of treason to the enemy, the crime is even greater. Those days we were on tenterhooks all day long, afraid that Ant would suddenly be repatriated back. When there was no news of repatriation, we were worried that he had drowned while stowing away, so we shivered when we heard which section of the Heilongjiang River a body had been found, and would not breathe a sigh of relief until we confirmed that the person was not Ant. When the river was closed in winter, our hearts gradually settled down, thinking that Ant must have passed safely and was with his beloved girl.

"When the Cultural Revolution was over, Lao Pan returned to Xiaoji River. At that time, the management office has been expanded into a forestry, the top sent a field director, let Lao Pan do deputy director, he declined. He said he is almost 60 people, and rheumatism, no ability to do things. I understand that the departure of the ants, equal to the wick in his oil lamp removed, his heart is not much brighter.

In 1989, old Pan died. He lived seventy years old, also considered a happy funeral. Before he passed away, he said to me, "I really crave the lard you brought when you came to Little Fork River. I knew he was thinking of Ant, so I brought the letter that Ant left us. His eyes were fixed on the boy who was kowtowing, smiled and passed away.

At Pan's funeral, Cui Dalin told me the secret that had tormented him for half his life. He said that the ring was indeed mine, when he picked me up from Kaikukang on the way to the small fork of the river, the lard altar broke, he found an emerald ring when he was helping me scratch the lard into the bowl. He was greedy for money and stole it for himself. At first he did not dare to take it out, thinking that I had hidden it inside, and then asked me several times, knowing that the lard was exchanged for the house, and I knew nothing about the ring, so he dared to take it out. Cheng Ying can follow him, indeed, because of this ring. He actually knows in his heart that Cheng Ying prefers the technician who is pursuing her. After the wedding, he saw the ring, his legs went weak, could not do what men should do. He begged Cheng Ying, not to let her wear that thing, but she refused, they quarreled a lot about it. I asked Cui Dalin, why did you wait until the old Pan died to tell me? He said, Lao Pan is a man, if he knew, he looked at my eyes can kill me ah.

I then understood why Huo Da-eye instructed me not to let others eat that altar of lard, it seems that he wanted to send me that ring, he secretly liked me. Old Pan's brother happened to come from his hometown in Heyuan to mourn, I asked him about Huo Da-eye's situation. He said that Huo Da-eye had a cerebral hemorrhage and had been dead for six or seven years! When he was alive, as soon as he saw Lao Pan's brother, he asked him, "Has your brother and sister-in-law written to you, are they doing well there? Lao Pan's brother said, once he told Huo Da-eye, said I gave birth to a son, called ants, Huo Da-eye said a sentence, than called bedbugs, ah, huffed and puffed away. Huo Da-eye's wife is a shrew, and the two have been at odds with each other all their lives. When Huo Da-eye was critically ill, his wife was trying on a pair of black leather shoes at a shoe store. Others called her home quickly, she did not panic to the shopkeeper said, give me a pair of red shoes, he died, I have to avoid evil spirits, so that the ghost of the old bastard back to haunt me.

Ahem, it's a pity I know where the ring came from a step too late. If the old Pan in, I can show him off: look at ah, there are other men like me ah. But the old Pan's temperament, he heard it will certainly laugh and say, a eyes look like a cow's eye butcher like you, there is no beauty?

The year after Pan's death, Cui Dalin also died. I am still alive, with children and grandchildren. In my life, what I can't forget is the stormy journey from Heyuan to Xiaojihe. My fate, and the lard is inseparable. In the summer evening, I often walk to the banks of the Black Dragon River, look at the border river. The birds that flap their wings and fly around between the two banks, the call is so beautiful. There was a bird that would make the call "Susheng - Susheng -" and I would look up. I was blinded and couldn't see the shadow of the bird, but I could see the sky behind the bird quite clearly.