5 Life Lessons I've Learned as an Actor

I don't talk about my life as an actor enough on this website. I've revealed some things: like the time I worked with my celebrity crush in a student film or the high school drama teacher who inspired me to pursue theatre. But I don't talk about the day-to-day things, what this life is like. Y'know...the juicy behind-the-scenes stuff I keep a secret from y'all.

I've been acting since I was too young to remember. It all started after watching my cousins perform in the ensemble of their high school's production of Fiddler on the Roof. It looked like so much fun singing and dancing on stage, and I dreamed to be a part of it. Before college, I participated in school plays and community theatre. After leaving New Jersey and pursuing a theatre arts degree in New York City, I delved into the world of film and voice acting.

I've been doing the acting thing professionally (as in actually getting paid for my talent) for almost four years now. And for the most part, it's been a very rewarding profession. I've been on the sets of Avengers: Endgame, High Fidelity, and Madame Secretary, made friends with some really accomplished people, worn amazing costumes, received great headshots, been to several film festivals (some of which I've won awards during), and even have my own IMDB page!

But being an actor is not all glitz and glamor. You spend more time not working than you do actually on set, and you always have to be alert for new opportunities and connections. Plus there's the fact you don't get paid much in this profession, auditioning all the time gets nerve-wracking, and big success is dependent upon agents and managers who won't give you the time of day unless you're more attractive than the other thespians they represent.

The acting business is a lot harder than it looks. You have to be insane to persist in it. It's not for the weak. It's crushed me so many times, but for some reason, I love it too much to quit. Besides learning many technical skills throughout my time in the business, acting has taught me a few life lessons I've been able to apply to my day-to-day activities outside the biz.

Below are five I'd love to share with you.

1. Don't Take Rejection Personally: It Leads to Better Things

Auditioning is a big part of being an actor. In fact, many actors believe their job is to audition, and booking a role is just a reward for doing good work. It's important to note auditions are essentially gambling. You can prepare as much as possible, but there's always a slim chance you'll book the role you're reading for.

Rejection from so many auditions is enough to crush many talented actors. Until they get seasoned in the biz or sit on the other side of the casting table, they don't realize you can get rejected after an audition for any reason at all. It may boil down to trivial things like not having the right hair color or not making one tiny choice another actor made in their reading. One time I got rejected for a role only to be booked for it later on. The actress who beat me got in a heated argument with the director, and so he fired her to hire me. After we shot the film, I asked him why I was initially rejected. He said I was actually his first choice for the role, but he picked the other actress over me because I wasn't tall enough.

Most of the time, the rejection you face is because of miniscule things - so it's unproductive to take what feels like a failure personally. One time I got rejected from an audition for a cool-sounding sci-fi film only to watch the movie months later and realize it sucked. My loss was actually a win: I had dodged a bullet by not getting cast.

Getting rejected from the things you're not meant for only leads to the things you are meant for. Trust me: the universe finds a way. If you get rejected after a job interview, rejected by someone you fancy, or your application gets rejected by your dream school, remember that life goes on. Our time on earth is short, but it's also long. If you really want something, it will come to you eventually. Maybe just not in the way you expect.

2. You Have to Create Your Own Opportunities

As they say, "when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade." The same rule applies in the acting biz. Because of the unpredictability of auditions, sometimes you need to grab the bull by the horns and create your own stories to act in.

For example, Issa Rae made the web series The Mis-Adventures of Awkward Black Girl, which led to a TV show with HBO called Insecure. Before Donald Glover started a writing job for 30 Rock, he made skits with his NYU friends for the YouTube channel Derrick Comedy that led to his discovery by Tina Fey. Even the guy who plays Colin Robinson on What We Do In The Shadows, Mark Prosch, created his own work by posing as a comedic yo-yo guru character for local Wisconsin news outlets. It led him to be discovered for casting in The Office.

The moral of those stories is that in order to build heat behind you, you have to start the fire yourself. Especially with the internet and social media, it's easier now more than ever to show others what you're capable of as an artist, entrepreneur, writer, or anything else.

I've tried to implement creating my own work into my own life. On the acting side of things, my boyfriend and I are currently working on a short film I will direct and act in. As for other aspects of my life - after graduating college with a creative writing minor and not knowing much about the publishing industry, I started a Vocal blog. It's led to 9 challenge wins over the years, as well as a new job with Live365 as a music content writer.

3. Learning New Things Is Your Greatest Tool

There are two kinds of things you must learn in order to progress in your acting career and in your life: you must learn new skills, and you must learn people.

By new skills, I'm talking about the stuff people write off as "hobbies" or "special abilities." Things like swimming, cycling, painting, skateboarding, even juggling. It may feel like a waste of time learning how to hop on a pogo stick until that day comes when you see a casting call looking for pogo stick hoppers. My friend Jake Blakeslee recently booked a commercial because he likes to play tennis. He's not some famous tennis player or star athlete - he just practices regularly and knows how to throw and hit balls with a racket.

As for learning people, I'm referring to any kind of social quirks or historic facts you can remember. Things like people watching, having deep conversations with strangers, studying world history and learning about different cultures can all aid in developing future roles. You literally need to be an empathetic sponge able to soak up other people's souls.

They say "write what you know." The same rule can be applied to acting. I tend to receive several more compliments - and even some awards - on my performances when I base my characters on people I know in real life. I can't do that without paying attention to the world around me.

Outside of acting, you should always be striving to develop your mental prowess. Knowledge is power, after all. Even if you're out of school, studying skills and people will help you to become a more well-rounded human being. You never know what doors might open when you pursue that new hobby you've been dreaming about or dive down the rabbit hole of a subculture.

Another actor friend of mine, Henry Qiu, has successfully applied the "learning new skills" rule to his life. Henry has used his tech prowess, magnetic personality, and 3D printing skills to run a popular TikTok account where he prints cool designs and digitally creates funny fan art for viewers. It's his hosting/acting skills that interest people, but it's his 3D printing talent that keeps his audience watching.

4. Raise the Stakes of Life

What makes for good drama in a scene? Obstacles! Every actor knows if there's no goal their character is working towards or hurdle they must jump over, the whole scene they are acting in will be boring for the audience to watch. Therefore, challenges = excitement.

Similarly, not facing adversity or not pursuing worthwhile goals will lead to a lack of excitement in your own life. Change can be scary, but you know what else is scary? Complacency. Doing the same thing every day. Being comfy where you are, but not moving forward to bigger and better things. Y'know...boring stuff.

In theater, giving a scene more tension is called "raising the stakes." Find ways to raise the stakes in your own life. Doing so may feel scary at first, but it will eventually lead to the success and adventure you are craving. Call that crush and tell them you like them! Finally make that move across the country! Start that business you've been dreaming of!

You know how I said life is long? Well, it's also short. It's a paradox! Hop to it!

5. Teamwork Makes the Dream Work

Pursue the acting biz with a lone wolf mentality, and you are destined to fail. It's all about who you know, not what you know. (Okay, it's also about what you know. But who you know can be equally important!)

You don't have to be brunch buddies with a Martin Scorsese or Keanu Reeves in order to make your acting dreams a reality. But you do need a like-minded tribe of artists willing to support you through thick and thin. They'll be there to recommend you for opportunities, remember you for their own projects, and emotionally support you when times are rough. When you're on a set or a stage, acting is technically a team sport because you're working off the emotions of another character to create an engaging scene. Additionally, crew people make magic behind the scenes - thus making your moment look good.

So yeah - it's important to be nice to everybody because without friends, teachers, creative partners, and other support, your acting career is like a speck of dust on a carpet: meaningless.

Of course, what is life without the love of others? I have a sign in my bedroom that says "friends are flowers in the garden of life," and I definitely think that without buddies, your garden of life is just a bunch of grass. Life can be kind of meaningless at times, but it's relationships that make it worthwhile. And when you work with friends and family towards goals, you'll be amazed by the things you are able to achieve.

That's about it for my acting wisdom. I'm sure this crazy career will teach me more things in time, but for now, I will leave you with a famous Shakespeare quote I think is a fitting ending to this article...

"All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players; they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts." - Jacques, "As You Like It"

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ATTENTION! ATTENTION! ATTENTION!

Now that I have your attention...I have news to share. So you know how I said I was in the process of making a short film? Well, it could use some help on the funding front. So far, all the money I will be using to financially fuel the short will be coming from my own pocket. And as an actor, well...you can imagine how pitiful my pockets are.

SO...here's a little incentive for you! If you tip me $10 or more on any of my articles from now until the end of January, I'll be including your name in the credits of my film as special thanks! If possible, I'll also send you a copy of the film once it's finished. (Keep in mind: that might not be until spring 2022.)

Please reach out to me on Insta (@katyisaladybug) or through the contact page on my website if you donate or plan on donating! That way I can keep you updated on the film and its progress. :)

Otherwise, make sure to like if you liked, and subscribe if you wanna read more from me. More acting-related content will be coming soon! Peace out.

-katy