4 Tips on Finding Your "Passion"

I changed my major five times in my undergrad. I tried about four different diets since I was a teenager. I had five different fashion styles throughout my life. And, I worked about six jobs since I graduated. In person, I'm seen as "indecisive." On my resume, I'm seen as "jumpy."

But, I wanted to point out that the negative perception of constantly changing (jobs, majors, diets, significant others, etc) is reflective of society's pressure to be definable.

Why is it that someone has to be something, has to like/hate something, has to pursue the "right" or "typical" thing? We are often more defined by our jobs than our identities, and that overshadows so much of our potential.

Here's a story: I left my first corporate job after about five months. I remember walking out and feeling 10% exhilarated, and 90% afraid. What the hell am I doing? I realized I did not want to pursue PR/Marketing and I wanted to do something more beneficial to society, so I went to the typical non-profit route. That turned out to be a bust- after realizing what a depressing environment it was to be in.

So now what? Do I apply for other, positive non-profits? Do I go back to marketing, because maybe I miss it? Or do I just meditate and hope some magical energy inside me will tell me what to do?

I was so lost. I remember feeling like I had a giant clock ticking behind me. I needed to get a job ASAP to pay bills, loans, etc. I'm already a year or two out into the workforce, I need to settle with a career or I'm going to be the "older" employee like Chandler Bing and the interns.

To be honest, I was freaking the fuck out. I applied to literally everything from waitressing, retail, tutoring…and went to many interviews to find out that I did not want to work at any of them. I pictured myself doing a mediocre job with a mediocre salary and being mediocre mentally and physically. And I realized, I didn't want "mediocre" to be my identity for my 20s.

Amidst all my panic, I actually started to rationalize and think things through. I constantly read self-help books, listened to Ted Talks and podcasts, and meditated every day.

Here are some tips I learned to handle finding my passion/new career path for my current phase in life (because who knows, I may switch roles and find out I want to retire in a forest without any Internet)...

1. Narrow things down.

Like literally take out a pencil and paper and write what you like, what you're good at, and what you hate. Remember to get feedback from your friends/family members (because they usually know you best and can help see what you don't see in yourself). Look through your previous jobs, clubs, activities - was there a general theme? Did you enjoy talking to others? Were you always picked to do the arts and crafts, or take notes?

2. Take classes on things you like and your strengths.

One of the biggest reasons why people don't go after their dreams is because of their lack of confidence. And, confidence can come from practice. For example, I scanned through my different roles and talked with others to find out that I had a knack for design.

So, I took a Graphic Design course at my local community college to hone my skills, and to finally open Photoshop. I was so afraid to use the program and create something terrible, because I thought it would be a sign that I wasn't meant for the career.

But, here's the thing: of course I'll be terrible! I've never done it! I'm not Picasso and even he thought some of his paintings were crap. You don't have to be perfect at something for it to be your passion. We grow up with this whimsical idea that your passion is inside you and success is effortless once you find it. But, I call bull. Your passion can be practiced, learned, and honed.

Try out things you like and/or are interested in. The metrics you gain from trying out different paths hold much more weight than one that stays the same road. You don't want to realize 20 years later, that you wish you had made a left turn.

3. Embrace your fears.

If you're having trouble figuring out what you like, or what your next path is, take a look at your fears. Not like spiders or commitment, but what you're afraid of failing at. Perhaps you never applied for that awesome job position because you don't have enough experience, and you're afraid of getting rejected.

Perhaps you never majored in Art History because you're afraid of not getting a job out of it or being ridiculed by your family/peers for an "impractical" major. Perhaps you never signed up for a gym membership because you're afraid of looking stupid or out of place.

The things you've desired but did not pursue because of your fear of failure are windows to your "passion". Everyone has them. All the successful folks have 'em - but their trick was: they had more faith in their strengths than their fears. They believed whole-fucking-heartedly that the outcome was going to be great.

One of my favorite role models is Jane Lu, the CEO of fashion company, Showpo. A Forbes 30 under 30 and a bad-ass girlboss entrepreneur, she quit her accounting job to start her own fashion company - now a multimillion dollar business.

She once said in an interview that she "would rather risk failing at pursuing my passion than to be mediocre at something I don't even care about." Her grit, pursuit, and passion (despite her fears) are what made her and the company so successful.

4. Try anything and everything that interests you.

Time may feel rushed right now to gain the skills and get the job of your dreams. But, make that time useful. Go to that pottery class you always wanted to try. Take a waitressing job to make payments while you volunteer at a children's clinic.

Tour the Google campus. Take a trip to Morocco. Do something that interests you in the mist of your "trying to figure things out" phase.

It may seem silly, but that pottery class may spark your interest in animation design or you realize that you hate getting your hands dirty - either way, you learned something about yourself. And, the time you take to discover and work on yourself is never wasted time.

Final Note

There's so much pressure in today's society to find the "right" career, the "right" husband/wife, the "right" major, etc. Sometimes, I think it's so funny because life is so so short and there may be 7 billion answers in the world. You never know what will be the right fit.

But if you feel it's right, and in your gut you just can't stop thinking about it - why not take the chance? If it's still on your mind, even after a year or two, it's worth taking the risk.

I'm currently applying for grad schools in New York and Seattle for experience design and it's honestly one of the most ridiculous decisions I've ever made in my life. New York is so expensive. Seattle's tech industry is so competitive. It's far from home (Cali). And, experience design? Like WTF is that, really? How will I know it's right for me?

I don't even know if I'm good enough to be in art/design school. But, what keeps me going is asking myself, "Would 30 year old, or 40 year old me be disappointed that I didn't take the chance?"