The Healer

"Life can be cruel-" words directly from my dragons mouth, and she's right. Life can be cruel, but Dannie is proof that we don't have to be, and that's a beautiful thing. I'm prone to darker feelings; I've heard it said that we each have a personal sin, and mine is definitely wrath. Dannie seems to me to be made of pure light.

During walks and chance meetings and snatched conversations we've bonded over the nature of pain and the relief of joy, and though I rarely spend as much time in her presence as I'd like, she's a presence in my life that can't be denied and her growing business (WeeD's CBD - yes a shameless plug for a friends business, but not one she asked for), as well as how she handles it, is an inspiration to me.

I asked her what drove her to make her business, and her answer was expectedly simple and humble; she was excited by the fact that CBD was legal because she knew the medicinal benefits. She formulated and made her pain balm for herself, her friends, and her family, and with time and dedication the brand has grown

I think it was something else. Dannie hasn't had an easy life, though you wouldn't know it if she didn't tell you. She was involved in a hit and run accident at 15, lived through an abusive relationship, and the loss of a child all before the age of 25. When she told me these things, I was shocked; we are taught that people who experience things like that are damaged. Dannie isn't. She's wonderfully whole and human and every conversation we have leads to a little shift in my own pain, a small knitting of old wounds.

If I had to guess what else drove her to start making that balm, I'd guess it was compassion; she knows pain and she's made of empathy. There's not a thing you can tell Dannie that results in her putting you down. Not a thing you can experience that will end in her telling you to give up. I think she got so used to soothing her own pain before she finally found her happy place that soothing others is natural to her.

But don't get it wrong, she has teeth, she just chooses kindness. She uplifts her friends, she nurtures her family, and she treats herself with kindness. Steadfast but flexible, kind but tough, ambitious but humble; I'd say she's the kind of woman I wish I could be and I won't hide the fact that I used this International Women's Day challenge to get to know her better.

What I found, interestingly, is what I already knew; she's a businesswoman, a mother, and a woman. An incredibly tough, kind, vibrant woman, and if this reads like a fangirl gush then so be it. It's not often you meet someone in life who inspires you to be better than you are simply by seeming to exist comfortably in their own skin. Someone who raises their chin at the challenges of financing the creation of a product, running a small business, and balancing family life with all that and... actually manages it. Not just manages it, but manages it with grace.

When we meet women like this, it's tempting to say they're incredible or unbelievable, and in the colloquial sense that's true, but in truth women like Dannie are everywhere. That's what I take away from every conversation with her because she manages to make everyone see the dragon in themselves.

Just to be cheesy and cliched, I asked her what advice she would give to young women (I know its a question everyone asks, but I had to know). She said that life can be cruel, that it's tough, and that she's been overwhelmed so many times she's lost count. She said that the advice she has is simple; be unapologetically yourself and celebrate your wins. Even the small ones - maybe especially the small ones.

Maybe its advice you've heard before, but it struck me right between the eyes because that's it; that's what makes her magic. She practices what she preaches. Dannie is unapologetically herself, she's kind to herself without letting her standards slip, and she celebrates every win, no matter how small, with real, infectious joy. She may not be famous (yet), or in a history book, but she's the dragon beside me. She's the woman I aspire to be (in my own way).