Winter In Woodsboro

They say it never rains in Southern California, well it’s never snowed here either, that is until one night not too long ago. Nestled comfortably in the southern part of the sunshine state is the town known as Woodsboro. The town’s population is probably around 12,000 residents give or take. We have one high school, Woodsboro High, plenty of mom-and-pop stores, a few chain stores and lots of restaurants. The nearest mall is forty-five minutes away, leaving us teenagers hang out in town square, throw house parties, get drunk in barns, and have a lot of sex. There isn’t much else to do in a small town.

Woodsboro isn’t known for much, except for one thing, brutal murders which spawned several Hollywood films, a few books, a show on MTV that used a very weird looking mask for the first two seasons, and of course a popular Halloween costume.

One thing I’ve never quite understood, is how much some of the kids at my school are obsessed with the rules of a scary movie. How lame is that? All this meta-talk, requels, sequels, taking things back to the original, it’s like get a fucking life. Yeah, Woodsboro is uneventful, but damn, there has to be more to life than memorizing the rules of a horror movie. How dumb is that? I’m not much of a movie person, and scary movies are the absolute worst. It’s usually some dumb blonde with big tits running naked through the woods after her and her boyfriend just finished having sex. The masked killer cuts off the boyfriend’s dick, he dies, which leaves the girl running through the woods, screaming, half-naked, falling over her own feet until the killer finds her and kills her, or she screams her way to survival, thus being crowned a scream queen, that is until the sequel, and with these franchises, there’s always a sequel and then a reboot.

Look at Jason Voorhees, the guy has been drowned, electrocuted, stabbed countless times, launched into space, and even chopped up by a meat grinder, and still he manages to make a comeback. Michael Myers isn’t any better, that franchise has been rehashed, rewritten, rebooted, and given about thirty alternate timelines, and he still won’t die. Don’t let me get started on Freddy Kruger, the guy with knives for fingers, who I guess is still stuck in Hollyweird Limbo, or some brunette’s nightmares stalking her and her Johnny Depp look-alike boyfriend.

It’s all pretty absurd, to say the least, but it’s a part of pop culture. For as long as I can remember Woodsboro holds the annual Stab-A-Thon, which is typically held at someone’s house or an abandoned barn, which is nothing but an excuse for every teenager to get drunk, smoke weed, and have sex. I go because what the hell else is there to do? Tonight, the party will be held at an abandoned barn a mile up the road from my house, which isn’t so bad. I’m still going to drive though, it’s a little chillier than normal for me to walk. It’s February, still winter season, but we’re also in California, so what’s cold to us is nothing to the other parts of the country. Tonight, for example, it’s supposed to get down into the low 40’s, which for us is freezing.

So, as I’m sitting in my room, brushing my hair, getting ready for tonight’s Stab-A-Thon, my cell phone rings.

“Hello?”

“What’s your favorite scary movie, Jenna?”

“Ghostface? How original.”

It’s Tina, my best friend.

Tina: (laughing) “Oh lighten up Jenna.”

“You know I don’t like scary movies, they’re dumb, and the whole Ghostface is even dumber.”

Tina: “Blah, blah, blah. So, are you ready or what?”

“Yes, just sitting here combing my hair as we speak.”

Tina: “Well hurry up already.”

“Chad isn’t going anywhere.”

Tina: “Oh fuck Chad, I just want to make him jealous.”

“That’s right, you’re fucking Joey.” I reply. “So, your tits are going to be on full display correct?”

Tina: “But of course my dear. I may even fuck Joey in the barn for good measure.”

“You and Chad are sick. Why not just have an open relationship and stop playing those sadistic mind games with each other?”

Tina: “Where’s the fun in that?”

“I can’t with you, and not tonight. I’m ready, I can be at your house in ten minutes.”

Tina: “I’ll be waiting.”

I hang up my phone and grab my jacket. On my way down stairs, I run into my mother who is having her own conversation with my aunt on the other end.

Mom: “Hold on Abby. You headed out honey?”

“Yes.”

Mom: “Okay, call me if you need anything.”

“I will, love you.”

Mom: “Love you too. Okay, Abby, now where was I?”

Sometimes I think my mom was born with a phone glued to her ear. As I walk out the front door towards my car, a cold chill runs through me. Not sure what that was about. I shivered a bit. Looking around, I never realized until now just how creepy it was at night. It could be the fact that we literally live in the middle of nowhere. Well not really nowhere, we just live in a big house on a lot of land, surrounded by the woods.

The nearest house, which is where Tina lives, is ten minutes away from us, and in between is nothing but the woods and darkness. Life in a small town.

At least we have plenty of lights around the house.

As I’m starting my car up, I swear I saw something move in the bushes. I look over to my left and nothing is there. “Come on Jenna, get it together girl.”

I think I’m losing it. Between the Stab-A-Thon and guys running around in Ghostface costumes chasing people with rubbery knives all day has me a little paranoid, apparently.

My phone rings and I jump.

Jeez what a dork.

It’s Tina.

“Hello Tina, I’m on my way.”

Ghostface: “This isn’t Tina.”

“Very funny Tina. Look, I’m on my way, okay? Bye.”

I hang up, shift my car into drive, and head to Tina’s. I make it there in nine minutes flat, probably because I was speeding up the road since I was still feeling a bit freaked out. Pulling up in front of Tina’s house doesn’t make me feel any better. Although she has at least one neighbor that lives next door, and even though the lights are on at her house, I can’t shake this creeping feeling. I honk my horn. No Tina, and no movement inside of her house.

I pull out my cellphone and press on her profile.

Her line rings, but no answer.

“Seriously?”

Bitch you knew I was coming to pick you up!

So now I have to get out of my car and walk up these goddamn steps to her big creepy house and knock on her door. I’m hoping that either Tina or her mom comes to the door. Don’t get me wrong, her dad is a nice guy and very attractive in a McSteamy McDreamy kind of way. He’s what a lot of us girls call a certified DILF, but at the same time, he can be a tad bit pervy. When he talks to me, 99.9% of the time his eyes always seem to land on my tits.

I swear I need new friends.

This is like some kind of fucking setup. Me walking up the steps to some dark and spooky house, and out of nowhere some crazed masked killer pops out of the shadows causing me to scream, and then a chase scene ensues. I swear I watch way too many crime dramas. And for me to not like scary movies, I sure do know all of the ins and outs of a horror movie. Must be the Woodsboro effect.

So here I am, walking up the concrete steps to Tina’s house. Thankfully I wore a pair of running shoes. The lights in the living room are on, but I don’t see anyone inside. I ring the doorbell. No answer.

“Ugh, seriously?” I pull out my iPhone and go straight to my text messages. Clicking on Tina’s name, which dials her number automatically.

The line beeps a few times.

Tina answers.

“Hello?”

“Uh, I’m outside.”

“You are? Oh cool. Can you come in for a second, the door’s unlocked.”

“Ok, sure.”

“Cool, make yourself at home and I’ll be right down, I’m taking a dump.”

“Gee, thanks for the overshare.” I reply before hanging up.

I open the door and walk inside. Tina’s house is always so immaculate. But that happens when your parents employ a weekly maid service. I sit on the sofa in her living room, and much to my surprise, the original Stab movie is playing on the widescreen. I guess it’s fitting since we are on our way to the Stab-A-Thon.

“Tina, hurry up.” I yell out.

There’s no reply.

The house is strangely silent.

My phone rings.

It’s Tina.

I answer the call, placing it on speakerphone.

“Did you fall in the toilet? What are you doing?

“Tina is a little tied up at the moment. She can’t talk, so tell me, Jenna, what’s your favorite scary movie?”

I roll my eyes and sigh. “Tina! Will you fucking come on already!”

I hear footsteps slowly dragging along the floor upstairs.

“Tina?” I call out frustrated. “I’m five seconds away from walking out the front door.”

I swear I need some new fucking friends.

Still sitting on the sofa, tapping my foot impatiently, looking at this stupid Stab movie.

“I can’t believe Tori Spelling signed up to be a part of this bullshit.”

To be honest, I was taking my frustrations with Tina out on the movie. As I sat watching the movie, it actually wasn’t that bad. I know the basics of the original Stab movies revolved around the murder of Maureen Prescott, her daughter Sydney, and Sydney’s boyfriend Billy Loomis and Stu Macher. Billy and Stu would go on a killing spree a year after killing Maureen Prescott. Their killing spree included a girl who oddly enough resembled Drew Barrymore (I love her talk show) and was played by Heather Graham in the Stab movie, I think her name was Stacy or Casey. They also killed her boyfriend whose brother is Doctor Orth at Woodsboro Memorial Hospital, the Principal at Woodsboro High, a camera man, and the former Sheriff Riley’s younger sister.

What Billy and Stu started, set off a chain of killing sprees where Sydney was always the target. My uncle went to high school with Sydney, he was a grade ahead of her when her mother was brutally murdered. This was all clearly before my time, but trust, the story of the Prescott family has been immortalized in Woodsboro History. From many of the stories that I’ve heard, it seems like they were cursed, with a lot of issues surrounding Maureen Prescott.

It’s been quite some time since this town has seen Sydney, the last time was in 2011 when she did a book tour for her memoir, “Out of Darkness”, where more murders took place, this time it was at the hand of her own cousin Jill Roberts and her accomplice Charlie. Fun fact, my mom used to babysit Jill.

I was seven at the time of the 2011 murders, so I don’t remember too much. According to town gossip, Jill was always a little odd, to say the least.

I’ve read the books, “Wrongly Accused” and “The Woodsboro Murders” both written by Gale Weathers a few years back. The books were really good as they captured some of the more intricate details regarding the murder of Maureen Prescott, and the subsequent murders that followed.

The books also provided the meat for the Stab movies, at least the first three.

While waiting for Tina to walk her punk ass down the steps, I couldn’t believe just how much I was really enjoying the movie Stab.

“What is that bitch doing?” I say to no one but myself. “Fuck it, I’m leaving.”

“Tina, I’m leaving.” I call out.

Getting up from the sofa and walking to the door, I hear footsteps coming down the stairs. I turn around and to my surprise, it’s none other than GhostFace.

Long black cloak, ghostly white mask covered by a black hood.

I’m unimpressed.

“Okay, so I’m leaving.” I say as I walk towards the door.

A large hunting knife comes flying across the room and lands into the door panel, inches away from my face.

“Are you fucking crazy?” I scream in outrage.

Ghostface then storms towards me, leaping over the sofa in my direction. At this moment, fear builds up inside of me. I don’t wait to find out what’s about to happen, so I quickly snatch open the front door and run out of Tina’s house screaming my head off. As I’m running down the steps of the front porch, screaming my ass off, Ghostface is hot on my heels. Out of the bushes, another Ghostface pops out brandishing a large hunting knife. My first reaction is to punch the second masked assailant in the face, which I do, as I’m still running.

The first Ghostface tackles me through the bushes and we both tumble down the hill of the front yard. I pick up a large rock and use it to bash him in the head.

“Fucker!” I shout as I get up and run towards my car.

In the ensuing melee, I hear a male voice yell, “OW!”

But I don’t have time to figure out who or what is going on, my mind is focused on getting to my car. Before I make it to my car, the second Ghostface comes out of nowhere and slashes my forearm with the hunting knife. I feel a burning sensation as my flesh is cut open, and warm blood slowly pours from my arm.

I scream as loud as possible, which apparently has woken Tina’s neighbors. An older Mexican man with a potbelly wearing a wife beater steps onto his front porch armed with a shotgun. He fires a few rounds in the air. The second Ghostface who slashed my arm runs off into the dark of the night, as the older man fires a few more shots in his direction. But the fucker has disappeared.

“Goddamn kids! What the fuck is going on out here!” the man yells as he steps off his porch and walks down towards me.

“What the fuck is going on out here? You’re bleeding!”

“I was attacked by two assholes in a Ghostface mask.” I say holding my arm, very shaken up.

The first Ghostface is laying at the bottom of the front yard and slowly raises up. The older man aims his shotgun and prepares to fire.

“Wait! Don’t shoot!” a familiar voice from behind the mask pleads, as he removes his mask to reveal a small gash on top of his forehead where I hit him with a rock.

“Joey?” I shout. “You asshole!”

“OMG! Jenna!” a familiar female voice yells from atop of the house, as she comes running down the front yard. “Oh, God! What happened?”

“Tina? Are you fucking serious? You fuckers tried to kill me!” I scream, holding my arm.

“What? No, it was a joke.” She replied.

“Me getting stabbed isn’t a joke you bitch!” I scream before I sucker punch Tina.

“There! How does that feel?”

The old man fires another round in the air.

“Cut it out, all of you!” he yells. “Young lady, you need some medical attention, that cut looks bad.”

“You broke my nose.” Tina cries.

“Yeah, well, you kind of deserve it.” Joey replies. “We both do.”

“Exactly.” I reply.

“Son, you might want to get checked out too, your head doesn’t look so good.”

The man’s wife, a younger hot blonde with big tits walks onto his front porch, wearing a silk robe and holding a handgun.

“Jake, everything okay out here?” she replies.

“Hey Anna, call 9-1-1, these kids out here are hurt.”

“Any idea who that other person was who ran off?” Tina’s neighbor asks.

“No.” Joey replies. “I was just as surprised as everyone else.”

“Well, that’s comforting.” I say.

“Whoever it is, I doubt if they’ll be back.” Jake replies.

In ten minutes or less, an ambulance has arrived, along with two police cars. Joey discarded his Ghostface costume, to avoid any further trouble.

My wound wasn’t as bad as it looked, it was a deep scratch with more blood than anything. Once the paramedics cleaned and sanitized me up, they bandaged my arm. Tina’s nose was also bandaged once the bleeding stopped, and Joey was cleaned up as well and advised to take some aspirin for the pain and apply an ice pack to take down the swelling.

“Any idea who attacked you?” one police officer asked me.

“No.” I replied looking over at Tina and Joey, cutting my eyes at them. “None whatsoever.”

I filed a report regarding the attack, not sure of what was going to come of it.

“Alright, you kids head home. Jake, you and Anna have a good night.” The officer replied as the police and the paramedics packed their things up.

“Young lady, do you need an escort home?” the officer asks.

“Uh, yeah, I think so.” I reply.

I get inside of my car and start it up. A police officer is behind me.

I am seriously pissed at both Tina and Joey who just stand there looking sheepishly.

As I pull off, in my rearview mirror I see Tina and Joey still standing on the road until they disappear from view. I feel more angry than frightened, although having someone dressed up in a Halloween costume chasing me with a large hunting knife is not my idea of a fun evening.

It doesn’t take long until I arrive home, followed by the police officer who walks me to my front door. My mom answers the door, the phone still glued to her ear.

Upon seeing the bandage on my arm, a look of shock spreads across her face. “Jenna! What happened? Abby, let me call you back.”

I had to do a double-take, as my mom unglued the phone from her ear.

“Hello ma’am, I’m Officer Lugosi, your daughter and her friends were attacked tonight. Thankfully, there weren’t any severe injuries.”

“What? By who?” my mom replies.

“Officer Lugosi, do you mind coming inside?” I ask.

“Yes, I can do that.”

Later that evening, as I’m lying in my bed, of all things for me to do, I turn the channel to a horror movie, a slasher flick at that. Friday the 13th.

My mom peaks her head into my room.

“How’s my final girl doing?” she replies with a smile.

“Oh wow. Not you with the horror lingo.” I say.

“You know I love scary movies.” She replies.

“Well living in this town, it’s sort of a given.”

“Looks like the town has finally had its effect on you.” Mom replies eyeing the tv screen. “Which one is this?”

“The first one. You want to watch it with me?” I ask.

“Sure. How bout we pop some popcorn, and we can watch it downstairs in the living room?”

“Deal.” I say.

“Alright, I’ll meet you downstairs.”

“Ok.” Before I get up, I turn to look out the window and immediately do a double-take. “Is that snow?” I say out loud.

It wasn’t a lot, but some flurries were coming down. It was pretty weird and seemingly impossible, but then again, in life, I have learned anything is possible.

“Hey mom, it’s snowing.” I reply as I walk out of my bedroom and then downstairs.

“What?” my mom replies from the kitchen.

“It’s snowing outside.”

“Snow?” Before she can finish her sentence, I point out the window.

“This has got to be the craziest night.” My mom replies before grabbing her cellphone and calling my aunt Abby. “Hey Abby, have you looked outside? Yes, can you believe it?’

I walk outside onto the front porch. The temperature has dropped as the flurries are coming down. As soon as the flurries fall onto my skin they quickly disappear.

While enjoying this unbelievable yet minor miracle, my cellphone beeps, and a text message comes through, it’s from Tina.

Tina: “I’m really sorry. I hope you’re okay.”

Me: “I am. Thanks. It’s snowing.” I text.

Tina: “I see. That’s crazy.”

Me: “Goodnight.”

I then walk back inside of my house, locking the door behind me. My mom still has the phone glued to her ear, as she dumps popcorn into a large plastic bowl.

“Okay Abby, we’re about to watch Friday the 13th. Yes, I know can you believe it? Okay, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Mom hangs up the phone and walks into the living room holding a tray with popcorn and some cokes.

“Let’s start the show” she replies with a wink as she sits the tray on a table in front of the sofa.

Epilogue.

Tina’s House.

Tina’s parents went out to dinner with some friends earlier in the evening, and Joey has long since gone home, leaving Tina alone.

She received a text from her mom a few seconds ago informing her they would be home in fifteen minutes or less.

Tina is in her bathroom, brushing her teeth before bed. After a final rinse, she then wipes her face off with a clean cloth.

“Man, Jenna can throw a good punch.”

Her nose is still bandaged, but healing.

Tina takes a deep breath before walking out of her bathroom and cutting off the light.

Her phone beeps. It’s a message from Joey.

“Hey, just checking on you.”

Tina types. “I’m fine, headed to bed. Been a long night.”

“K. Talk to you in the morning.”

Tina sends a smiley face.

She goes downstairs into her kitchen to grab a glass of water before bed.

Her cell phone rings. It’s Joey.

“What’s he want?” she asks before answering.

“Joey, I told you I’m going to bed.” Tina replies.

“This isn’t Joey.” A voice replies from the other end.

Tina’s eyes widen. “Dude, seriously, we’ve had enough for one night.”

“Oh, that was just the beginning.” The voice replies.

“Okay, Joey, I’m going to bed.” Tina replies.

“If you hang up on me, you’ll die just like Maureen Prescott! Do you want to die Tina?” the voice replies.

“What? Who is this?” Tina asks, somewhat annoyed.

“The last person you’ll see alive.”

“Fuck You Joey!” Tina hangs up the phone. “Fucking creep! Remind me to never sleep with him in a dark barn again.”

A loud crash is then heard as Joey’s headless body comes flying through the kitchen’s glass patio doors. Tina’s eyes widen in horror as she screams.

In walks Ghostface, in all of his terrifying glory. Dressed in all black, pale white face, carrying a large hunting knife covered in blood in one hand, and Joey’s head in the other. Tossing Joey’s head to the floor, Ghostface then wipes the blade clean as he prepares to make Tina his second victim. The cold wind from outside blowing inside the kitchen. Ghostface steps over the shards of glass on the floor, making crunching sounds as he slowly moves towards a hysterical Tina.

Tina, screaming, runs out of the kitchen with Ghostface hot on her trail. She throws a lamp at Ghostface, hoping to slow him down, but no such luck. His moves are faster, swifter, and stronger, as he grabs Tina by the back of her long blonde hair, pulling her head backwards. He then reaches around to the front of her chest stabbing her multiple times. Tina unleashes a blood-curdling scream before Ghostface delivers the final death blow, stabbing her in her jugular, slashing her throat.

Ghostface tosses Tina’s body to the ground and runs out of the house through the broken glass door in the kitchen, just as Tina’s parents walk through the front door of their home to find the dead body of their only daughter lying in a pool of blood.

Her mother falls to her knees screaming.