The Serial Killers Club

by Monica Hess and Steve Miller

“Hi, I'm Mac and I have violent tendencies.”

“Hi Mac.”

“My friends call me Big Mac but for the ladies I'm Mac Daddy or Mac-nificent (nervous laughter from the group)."

“We are here at this meeting to talk about many things but first we have to establish some ground rules: we never discuss our business outside of these meetings and we never cross another member’s boundaries. Our hunting grounds belong to each of us, individually.

Our group's survival is based on secrecy and trust. To establish trust, I'm sure, as expected, I will go first. If you cross me or anyone else in this group, the world will continue on with one less serial killer in it!

Now, with that said... I'm Mac in the daytime and I'm Officer Mac at night. It’s easier to build trust with my victim when I’m in uniform. I look very professional. They rarely question my authority and it helps me control them. Control is important for us. And it goes along with tonight’s slogan: ‘keep it simple, stupid’. What does that mean to us, you might ask. It means we need to be careful, and not over-complicate things. The simpler the plan, the more likely we will succeed. It also helps us to not rationalize everything. Some things just can’t be explained.

The control starts at the beginning of a nighttime traffic stop. I shine my flashlight in their eyes. This temporarily blinds them and starts the victim process. I'm only interested in one type of victim: females in their early-to-mid-20s, dark hair and dark eyes. I’ve yet to do a blonde; most of the time the color is fake anyway.

If they fit what I’m looking for, I’ll ask for their license and registration, and make a show of “checking” it. (Of course I don’t because that would leave a paper trail.) I’ll tell them to the exit the vehicle "for my safety". This does two things: allows me to be in control and to find out if they have a weapon. Sometimes I’ll get one that balks, but I can usually convince them they need to get out of their car. Once they are out of the car, I inform them that there is a warrant for their arrest. I ask them to turn around to put handcuffs on them. I tell them not to worry, that it’s probably just a mistake with paperwork; that this happens all the time. I tell them to have a seat in my patrol car while I clear it up. This puts me in the power position. Ironically, these control techniques are part of our police training (a little more laughter from the group).

While they’re wedged into the backseat, I act like I’m talking on my radio. Then, I get back in and tell them that the warrant couldn't be cleared. That I have to take them to the station but not to worry, they will be able to bond out. At this point, most of them are visibly scared. Their breathing is shallower (it’s difficult with cuffs on, seated almost sideways in the back seat). Their eyes are big. If they speak, their voices are breathy.

I turn the patrol car around as if to head back to town, but instead, I find a side road to pull over on. I tell them the warrant has been cleared so I'm going to take the handcuffs off and drive them back to their vehicle. Most let down their guard; they think they will soon be free, so they’re more than willing to comply.

This is my second favorite part of the hunt: the part where they don’t know what’s about to happen and I do. I open their door and ask them to lean forward so I can get to the cuffs. As they lean forward I immediately put a zip tie over their head and slip it tight around their neck. (To keep things simple, I already have the long zip ties put together.) Why zip ties? Because they could be mistaken for part of our standard equipment - and too because I like the effect they have.

I pull so tightly that they can't breathe. Before they can react, I grab them by their hair, drag them out of my car, and onto the ground. I stand over them watching as their eyes bulge out from the pressure. I kneel down beside them wanting to be as close as I can to see their face and watch the life leave their body. It usually takes a nice long minute - probably the longest minute of their life. When it’s over, that’s when my favorite part starts. And it's also the riskiest. But that's a story for another day."

"Thanks for sharing, Mac."

"Sure thing Curly."

"Now, let's hear from someone else. Come on now, don't be shy, don't hold back. That's why we're here."