The Name of the Job

His hands shake as he reaches for the glass bottle. Auburn looking liquid splashes around, hypnotizing him with its circular motions. Ringing sounds in his ear as the horrid sounds of screaming, crying, and eventual death flood his memory like a slasher movie stays with you. A chill passes through him as he twists the cap off and takes a swig of his whiskey. That’s when the ringing stops, the crying fades, and a voice one single voice comes into clarity.

“That’s it baby brother, nice and easy. I know creepy right? Me sitting here talking to you and the whole time you’ll look crazy because you’re talking to thin air.” The voice says.

He looks towards the couch and sees his brother sitting there in full dress blues. He chuckles to himself as he sits on the floor staring at the couch.

“Maybe I am crazy, why would I wanna stare at your ugly mug all the time? Why are you here?”.

The figure laughs and looks at him. “You’ve lost your way.”

He takes a swig and watches the couch. “Lost my way? What are you? My spirit guide? You here to show me the light?”

“No asshole, I’m here to make sure you don’t join me here on the sidelines and leave mom all alone.”

He scoffs while listening and swigs off the bottle again and again.

The figure moves closer to him "Easy there killer, I need you alert for this next part. If you haven't guessed it by now you're dying. I'm here to prevent that but I need your help!"

"How can I help you?!? I couldn't then and I couldn't now! Just let me die! The pain will go away then!" he shouts at the figure.

"No Jimmy it doesn't! New pain seeps in as you watch your family grieve over your grave. Every time a tear falls from their eyes, you hurt and ache! Every time they are in pain or sad or angry or mad, you hurt! Take it from me kid the pain never goes away! Now focus up!" The figure pulls him to his feet.

Staggering he stands and looks at his brother, stares at him. "You're real. You're here. Johnny I'm so sorry. I should have been there for you! I searched, I tried Johnny I'm sorry I failed you." He weeps into his brother's shoulder.

Johnny embraces him and bites his lip and holds his brother tight against him "Stop it. You didn't fail me. I died doing my job, and you survived to do yours and tell my story. Our story! You did not fail me Jimmy you hear me?!" Johnny grabs his face and forces his brother to meet his eyeline.

Jimmy nods and wipes his eyes, streaking fresh tears across his face. Thoughts and doubts filled his head once again. If only he had gotten to the building 5 minutes faster, if only he had gotten to him faster, if only. Jimmy has not been able to forgive himself for years now. 5 years later and here he is. Drunk, sad, unemployed, and divorced. 5 years since his whole world changed, and not only his world. 5 years since everyone's world and lives changed. 5 years since he has felt safe, happy, or needed.

On that fateful day, his world along with millions of others changed forever. When the dust settled and the names were named, the anger took over. His sanity, his happiness, and his hope gone forever. 9/11 took the hope out of the world that day, not just the United States, but the world. On that day he went to work in the morning, patrolling the streets of New York City not thinking anything out of the ordinary was going to happen and then in the blink of an eye he was in the middle of a nightmare.

"Johnny, I'm sorry I got there late. I promise I tried!" He begs his brother as he sobs.

"I know you did kid, I know." His brother holds him. As he looks up he notices his brother fading away.

"Johnny wait! Where are you going? Don't leave, please don't leave me again!" He cries and reaches for his big brother, his protector, his best friend.

"I'll be back, but I need you to not waste this second chance. Get your job back, be there for your kids, show your ex you're okay. Jimmy just because I'm not there in person doesn't mean I'm not there. Go on and live for both of us, please little brother?" Johnny fades further yet his voice rings in Jimmy's ears.

Jimmy nods and sighs. "I will Johnny I will. I won't waste it. I'll make you proud. It's the name of the job, I get it now. Rest easy big brother, I'll handle it from now on." He nods and lowers his head in respect. All in the name of the job as younger brother, police officer, father, husband, and son. He vowed then and there he would do better, be better, be the man his family needs him to be. He promised.