The Hummingbird

The cabin in the woods had been abandoned for years, but one night, a candle burned in the window. I stared at the old log cabin as the timber’s natural beauty glistened under the full moon. The flicker of the candle’s flame danced across the windowsill and into the wild.

My clothes were filthy, covered in mud and sludge from trekking through the woods all day, or so I thought. Why was I here? I wondered. Where was I going? or was I coming? I couldn’t quite remember.

As I approached the cabin, I was overcome by the scent of cedar and smoke from a burning log fire. I knocked on the door and waited patiently. My warm breath mixed with the icy breeze, creating a mist that enveloped the air around me.

A minute had passed, and there was no answer, so I knocked again and again. Still, nothing. I turned the handle and CLICK! it opened. The creak of the door echoed over the eerie silence of the woods.

“Hello,” I shouted. No response. A subtle voice in my head warned me against going in, but the cruel sting of the wintry night demanded otherwise.

I stepped inside and studied the room. A roaring fireplace crackled away in the corner, filling the room with a warmth that clutched at my skin. The aroma of freshly diced onion and garlic escaped the soup pot simmering away on the stove. Everything around me seemed alien-like but strangely familiar, like I’d been here before. It was cozy, homely even, except for the absence of humanity.

I stood there for a brief moment, bickering with the subtle voice inside my head, begging me to leave. BANG! The door slammed shut. I spun around and gripped the handle. It was locked tight. “You lost?” a voice bellowed from behind me.

I whipped back and saw an old man standing in the middle of the room, glaring at me, his face time-worn with wrinkles, his hair white as snow, or what was left of it. Where the fuck did he come from? I thought.

He smiled at me through coffee and nicotine-stained teeth, but it was a charitable grin, genuine.

“I take it you’re lost?” he said.

“Yeah, I-I think so,” I replied, “But I’m not quite sure.”

His smile faded, and his eyes widened as he glanced at my forehead, “Looks like you took a fall.” I touched my forehead; he was right. Blood had trickled down from an open wound above my temple and mixed with the soil that covered my face.

“Let’s get you cleaned up, kid,” he said as he welcomed me in. The old man offered me a hot shower and some comfy clothes, to which I obliged. It wasn’t much, but it was more than I had.

️* * *

I got cleaned up and joined him in the kitchen as he placed a bandage around his left hand. “You okay?” I asked,

“Yeah, I just burnt it on the stove; nothing a good shot of aqua vitae can’t fix,” he laughs, slamming back a glass of double-barreled whiskey.

“You hungry, kid?” he asked, placing a steaming-hot bowl of soup on the table.

“Thank you, sir,” I smiled, as I sat down at the large oak wood table.

“Sir? I haven’t been called that in years,” he laughed, “The name’s Tobias.”

He slid a plate of crusty, stale bread across the table, “What good’s a bowl of hot soup if you haven’t got any sop.”

I laughed, broke off a few pieces of bread, and dipped them into the steaming liquid. I knew it smelt good, but the taste... ohhh, the taste was even better.

“You know, I always thought this cabin was abandoned,” I declared as I slurped and chewed; my tastebuds confused by the varying sweet yet salty nuances.

“And that’s the way I like it,” he said. “Alone in the woods, no one telling you what you should or shouldn’t be doing, no responsibilities, no one to disappoint; no one to disappoint you, just me and nature; my little slice of heaven.” He smiled, pouring us another whiskey.

“Well, I’m lucky you had the candle in the window,” I said, “Otherwise, who knows how long I would have been out there.”

He laughed, “Well, you’re not that special, kid. It happens at least once a month; people go hiking, get lost in the darkness; everything looks different in the light. I’m just doing my part, I guess.”

I studied him for a moment; he wasn’t really the vision of a guardian angel I had hoped, but he didn’t harbor an ounce of remorse or regret. He was content with where he was in life, the choices he’d made; I envied that. He obviously had his reasons for retreating to the woods and living the life of a recluse, a checkered past, maybe, but it wasn’t for me to judge, not after offering me a safe haven.

“So, where you headed, kid?” he asked.

“Honestly, I don’t know,” I replied.

“Well, maybe you hit your head harder than we thought?"

“Yeah, maybe,” I whispered.

We sat there in silence for a few brief moments, then Tobias stood up, tucked his chair in, and skolled his whiskey. “Get some rest, kid,” he pointed to the small couch next to the fireplace that looked like it had already been slept in. “We’ve got a lot to figure out in the morning.” He walked into his bedroom, closing and locking the door behind him.

I listened to the wind as it howled through the branches. I didn’t want to go back out there... not to that... not to the cold. I threw my night cap back as it warmed my insides and headed for the couch.

I laid on the fluffy pillow and soft cotton sheet and snuggled into the goose-down doona; married with the warmth of the fireplace, I felt at peace with the world outside. I watched the mesmerizing flames engulf the few remaining logs, sending red sparks floating up the cast-iron chimney; at least they knew where they were going.

The precautionary voice inside my head returned; Who the hell lets a stranger into their home, no questions asked?

You may be right, I thought, but I’m just too tired to care.

I tried to shut it out. Don’t sleep, it pleaded; keep your eyes open. But my head began to throb like African drums. I needed to rest and ride out the storm-whipped haze over my brain.

I’ll just sleep lightly, I argued; close my eyes for a few minutes, and when dawn breaks, I’ll leave. I theorized a million different outcomes as the hypnotic effects of the fire weighed heavy on my eyelids.

️* * *

I was only asleep for what felt like a few minutes when I suddenly awoke to the freezing cold air brushing against my skin. The raging fire, now a simmering mess of ash and red coals.

I must have been out for at least a few hours, I figured, but my thoughts were interrupted by a scratching sound coming from the front door.

My eyes shot towards it. Was it an animal, trying to seek refuge from the cold? Then I heard the distinct CLICK! of the door handle turning. I jumped to my feet. This was no animal. I watched as the door slowly opened into -- nothing. A vacant doorway.

I walked towards it, trying to convince myself that it was probably just the wind, but as I neared the door, I noticed a woman standing only a few feet away.

I stared at her, transfixed on her beauty. She held a captivating smile with magnetic eyes that demanded my attention, an air of mystery about her as she stayed hidden in the shadows.

“Can I help you?” I asked.

She took a step forward into the brightness of the full moon, as the glittery feathers from her hummingbird tattoo illuminated brightly on her right shoulder; the name, Abigail, scribed elegantly underneath it. Her clothes were clean, unscathed, and she wore a pair of tan hiking boots in good repair, apart from a yin and yang symbol that was sketched on one of them.

I laughed at the symbol; it was poetic in a way; her impression was the exact opposite of how I emerged at the cabin only a few hours earlier; muddied, in a frenzied state.

“If you’re after Tobias, he’s asleep,” I said, “But you’re welcome to come in and get warm.”

She took another step forward, and our eyes locked, her radiating smile slowly dissipating. She turned on a dime and retreated into the thick of the woods.

“Wait,” I yelled, frantically tearing off after her.

️* * *

I was a good few hundred yards into the woods when I came to a clearing. I took a second to catch my breath, the frosty air piercing my lungs like glass. I heard a faint sobbing coming from an old pine tree off to the left. I scurried over and noticed Abigail lying on the ground, gripping her ankle.

As I walked towards her, she scrambled backward, desperately trying to escape.

“Please, don’t hurt me,” she begged, tears streaming down her cheeks; fear etched into her face.

“Hey, I’m not gonna hurt you,” I explained, “I just wanna help.”

We locked eyes again, but this time, something was different. She could sense I wasn’t a threat; she believed me; trusted me.

“Let’s get you back to the cabin,” I said as I placed my hand on her shoulder -- instantly feeling an explosive surge of energy.

I quickly surveyed my surroundings and noticed the light of day had been restored, and the night’s icy-cold breeze was now replaced by the warmth of the sun. The sweet serenade of birds that flew overhead abruptly halted by frantic pleas for help as they wailed toward me.

I watched as a woman came limping from behind the trees, narrowly escaping her would-be captor. As she got closer, I realized it was Abigail, but distinctly different.

Her clothes were bloodstained, drowned in mud and leaves; the skin from her bare feet ripped open. She lost her footing on the rocky terrain and came crashing down. I tried to run, scream, but I was paralyzed; it was like a cursed nightmare I couldn’t wake up from.

As she lay there, gripping her ankle in a tearful whimper, a man approached, his identity hidden amongst the shadows of the tall pine trees. He knelt down beside her, glaring at his prey as she gazed back through defeated eyes.

He unsheathed a knife and held the cold steel against Abigail’s throat. The blade gleamed as it caught the sun’s rays and threw a glint of light into the man’s face, blinding him momentarily. Abigail seized the opportunity, grabbing a nearby rock and burying it deep into the side of the man’s head.

Upon impact, I felt another onslaught of energy coursing through my veins. It threw me to the ground, my hands breaking my fall. I scanned the clearing, then the trees; Abigail and the man were gone; they’d vanished like a whisper in the wind.

I found myself alone, rooted to the spot I had been before, the trees coated with a deafening silence, surrounded, once again, by impenetrable darkness.

I rose to my feet and looked at my hands, numb and scraped, with tiny bits of gravel and dirt embedded in my open flesh. It was painful, but only for a second, then my head began to throb violently, torturing me with every heartbeat. I let out a monstrous roar that invoked an inhumane warmth through my lungs.

What the fuck is going on? I thought, touching the wound that rested just above my temple. My mind began to narrate hundreds of opposing theories as the familiar voice inside my head returned.

I think you know, it contended.

️* * *

I made my way back to the cabin, finding comfort in the delicate sound of an owl’s hoot as it glided through the crisp air. The cold winds swept across the earth, crawling up my spine, forcing my body into a rebellious shiver. I rubbed my arms vigorously, trying to create friction and warmth as my teeth chattered against the distinct snapping of frosty twigs under my boots.

I walked for what felt like an eternity until I spotted the bright glowing light of the candle burning in the window, like a beacon calling me back home. I could almost feel the warmth of the fireplace on my frost-bitten skin as I ran towards it.

I burst through the front door, “Tobias!” I screamed as I came to an unexpected stop. The serenity and ambrosial scents that once clutched the cabin’s walls were now dominated by a musty, noisome odor.

Tobias’ bedroom door was now unlocked and slightly ajar, so I inched towards it, holding my hand over my nose as the nauseating stench deepened.

I slowly pushed the door open, “Tobias,” I whispered, stepping into the room.

The silence pressed firmly against my ears as a rush of darkness came pelting towards me, but not due to the absence of light; no, this darkness was much more sinister. It grabbed hold of me, dragging me deeper into the bleak and mildew-ridden room.

A cool draft scampered across the floor, throwing the door wide open, permitting entry to the light, and helping to materialize the remaining contents of the room.

I was frozen with fear, repulsed by what I saw.

A chair occupied the corner of the room, and on it, a woman, tied in chains and rope, her legs severed with bones protruding. A bucket of flesh and blood lay idle, catching the dripping-red claret as it oozed from her lifeless body.

The pungent smell of evil that polluted the den became almost unbearable to stomach as I dry heaved, trying desperately to hold it all together.

I turned and ran, tripping over an object that lay in the middle of the open space, landing hard on the clammy blood-soaked floor.

I glanced towards it. Nestled within the thin streak of light was a tan hiking boot with a yin and yang symbol sketched onto it.

My mind barrelled out of control as I got to my feet and bolted towards the front door. I tried the handle. It was locked.

My retching intensified, filling my eyes with tears as I stumbled into the kitchen.

I leaned on the counter, next to a knife and half-chopped vegetables, clutching my chest, an incurable sickness churning within.

My gaze rested on the pot of soup that sat on the stovetop -- the shimmering feathers of a hummingbird shining back at me. I lurched forward, throwing up violently in the sink, my stomach juices gushing out my mouth and nose.

It left behind a raw acidic burn in my throat as I collapsed on the floor.

“That’s a little over dramatic, don’t you think?” I heard a voice say as I sprang to my feet.

Tobias was standing in the middle of the kitchen; a capricious smile on his face.

“Leave me the fuck alone,” I demanded, my hand anxiously grasping the knife.

“Leave you alone?” he laughed, “You came to me, kid.”

I waived the knife wildly in front of me. “Y-You ate her!” I murmured.

“Well, that’s not entirely true,” he declared, “Technically speaking, only you ate her; I didn’t eat the soup; I’m a vegetarian.”

My hand immediately shot towards my mouth, holding back another upheaval. Tobias stared at me for a moment before bursting into laughter.

“I’m just kidding; I’m not a vegetarian... but I’m also not real, not yet anyway.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” I questioned.

“Take a look around, kid. You don’t think it’s strange there’s only one bowl, one fork, one glass, I mean hell, the clothes I gave you fit perfectly, right? Why is that?”

He stared at me; it wasn’t rhetorical; he wanted an answer, but as I looked around, I couldn’t provide one.

Tobias sat at the table, lit a cigarette, and offered me one.

“I don’t smoke,” I declined.

Tobias smiled as he sucked on the stick of poison, polluting the air with his toxicity. I waved the smoke away.

“Get to the fucking point,” I ordered.

“I just don’t get you anymore,” he said, shaking his head. “You’re treating me like I’m a villain when all I’ve done is be your guardian angel.”

My head began to throb, a splitting pain that rested right behind my eyeball. I winced in pain for a second, and Tobias vanished.

I spun around as Tobias reappeared on the couch.

“We move out here, and we’re erasing these travelers, these drifters, these nobodies. You, with all your charisma, make them feel comfortable, and me, well, I do the things that you don’t want to,” he explained, “You and me, we’re good together; perfect for eachother.”

Tobias disappears again, only to reappear inches behind me.

“Then she showed up; with her flawless smile and hummingbird tattoo.” His tone now filled with petulance. “You think you’re just gonna leave me, fall in love, and be her knight in shining armor.”

His eyes glaze over as vexation creeps into his voice; betrayal and anger multiplying.

“But you forget... People like you don’t get a happy ending.”

I turned and drove the knife into Tobias, into -- thin air. He evaporated again, now standing next to the fireplace.

“You still don’t get it, do you, kid. You can’t kill me. You came to me, meaning you invented me,” he laughed.

“Well, if I invented you, I can get rid of you,” I argued. “Now, open the fucking door.”

He tilted his head, “It’s not closed,” he said, looking perplexed. My head whipped towards it; he was right, the door was now wide open.

Tobias’ soulless eyes followed me as I walked towards the door; towards my escape.

“But you’re not gonna leave,” he said, “You’re not strong enough; you need me; otherwise, why I am here?” he questioned.

I stood in the doorway, the once reverberating tone in my head, now a faint whisper, still urging me to run.

Is he telling the truth? I thought. Was I capable of doing something so disgusting, so poisonous? If I run, will he follow? I couldn’t move; maybe he was right, perhaps I was too weak.

“I know you think you loved her,” he said, walking toward me. “But trust me, she isn’t the first, and she isn’t gonna be the last. In time, she will become a distant memory, just like the rest.”

He placed his left hand on the door, closing it, and I noticed the bandage that once wrapped neatly around his hand had gone.

“Your burn?” I asked.

“You mean your burn,” he smiled.

I looked down at my hand; it was bandaged tight; a spot of blood seeping through.

I couldn’t help but acknowledge the night’s laments; the shame, the guilt that haunted me, choked me, exhausted me. Even if I tried to ignore it, he wouldn’t allow it, prompting me, reminding me that I’m broken and fragile, in need of his protection.

“You’re never gonna leave me alone, are you?” I affirmed.

He took a deep breath and sighed, “Sorry, kid, I just can’t do it.”

I nodded my head in acceptance, defeat.

I looked at the knife in my hand; my knuckles, bloodless and pale from gripping so tightly. Then my eyes shifted towards the bandage on my other hand.

I looked up at Tobias and smiled. “Well, if you’re never gonna leave me, then I guess I’ll have to leave you.” I ripped the knife up to my throat.

“Wait!” Tobias pleaded as I pressed the razor-sharp blade firmly against my throbbing artery.

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! Our eyes shot towards the front door, then back at eachother.

“I’m not gonna let you hurt anyone else,” I challenged.

Tobias glared at me, a malevolent grin creeping across his face. “You don’t have a choice, kid.”

I felt a diabolic force sweep over me as I grappled with the knife. My whole arm trembled as it moved further away from my throat.

“I told you, you’re weak,” he said.

I was startled by another knock at the door. “Run!” I tried to yell, but nothing more than a gravelly drone escaped.

Tobias walked towards me, “It’s okay, kid. You need to rest; let me take the reigns for a while,” he said, placing a hand on my shoulder.

And with that, I slithered into the darkness; into the unknown, trapped like a caged animal in my own psyche; the absence of humanity still lingering.

Tobias opened the door and saw two teenage girls huddled together, their breath creating an arctic haze against the star-filled sky.

“Can I help you?” he grinned.

“We’re so sorry to bother you,” one of them said, “But we were out hiking earlier, and we got separated from our friend, Abigail."

"We noticed the candle in your window and thought she might have come by here,” they explained.

Tobias shook his head, “Sorry, nobody’s come by for weeks; it’s just me,” he said, “But why don’t you come in and get warm; I can heat you up some soup.”

They smiled and rushed inside as Tobias closed the door behind them.

It was cathartic in a way. At least now I knew who I was -- what I was. I could see every sadistic thing he did, every evil thought he carried, but I had no control; I just became a subtle little voice inside his head, pleading with him to listen.