The Bouncy Castle
For A True Crime, Horror Story & Dark Poetry Challenge
This is in response to Dharrsheena's challenge in True Crime, Horror Story & Dark Poetry here
It's time for another #WritingChallenge ! Based on the prompt below, you can write either a #story or #poem that includes a funeral, a bouncy house and lifeless body/bodies. Make it as twisted and as creepy as you can!
I included "Merry Go Round" by Wild Man Fischer as music for this as for me it has an edgy creepiness. Frank Zappa once told a story about Larry Fisher meeting his brother. "His brother had the bad luck, Larry had the axe" a little dark humour for you there. I don't know if it really happened but Larry could be unstable. You can listen to him on the album below.
The Attraction
“Mom, can I go to Mr Jeffrey’s Bouncy Castle Play Centre? My friends said they had heard it was amazing”
“Are your friends going?”
“No, I think they must be away, but loads of kids really say it’s brilliant, and you meet lots of new friends there”
“I’m not sure about you going on your own”
“Aw mom, you can take me, and stay and watch as well”
“I have a Spa appointment and some beauty treatments which will take a few hours this afternoon. What time is Mr Jeffrey’s open?”
“He’s always open. Please Mom can I go?”
“Alright, have your breakfast, clean your room, and I will drop you off after lunch”
“Aw Mom, thank you, I can’t wait, the Bouncy Castle is amazing, everyone says”
Mr Jeffrey’s Bouncy Castle Play Centre
She dropped him off at the entrance and had given him ten dollars. She told him she would pick him up in two hours, he gave her a hug and thanked her and ran to the entrance.
There was no one taking payment but the gate was open so he went in and then saw the bouncy castle, and heard the pump going so he ran and jumped on. He was the only one there which meant he could jump and run as much as he wanted.
The construction of the Bouncy Castle was a little unusual, it was a definite castle, but was not the normal, plastic/rubber single-piece design but was a stitched-together patchwork. He was in his element, bouncing, bouncing and bouncing.
He decided to have a rest and look around, there was a little petting zoo with some pigs, goats and sheep, and another shed that was secured. There was no one else around, but he wasn’t too bothered, he could always play alone.
He went back to the Bouncy Castle and bounced, played and jumped, until …….
The Pick-Up
She was a bit late but pulled up outside Mister Jefferey’s place to pick up her son. It looked very quiet. She walked in and saw the Bouncy Castle which was unoccupied, but she thought she saw some red, but it was probably just the afternoon light which was fading., and the sodium street lamps were coming on. She really was a bit too late.
“Hello”
She jumped, the man was dressed in handyman’s clothes and had a toolbox.
“Oh sorry, I’ve come to pick up my son, he had been pestering me to come and play on your bouncy castle and said his friends had been telling him how wonderful it was”
“Oh yes it is a truly amazing labour of love that I started a few years ago”
“Wonderful, so where is my son, we need to get home now as he has some important exams at school tomorrow”
“He’s in the Bouncy Castle”
She looked again and could see no one on the bouncy Castle, it was empty and still.
“But there is no on there on the Bouncy Castle”
“I said he is IN the Bouncy Castle, he is there with his friends, well his skin is”
She froze in shock
“And his body went through the grinder in the shed to feed the animals in the petting zoo, the pigs particularly love the meat. Ironic considering human meat tastes like pork. I do keep some for myself, sometimes, and you look particularly tasty and will make a good addition to the bouncy Castle”
The next thing is something hit her and it all went black.
And So It Goes
Mr Jefferey had meat in the freezer, a new car and the pigs were well-fed.
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Expert insights and opinions
Arguments were carefully researched and presented
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Masterful proofreading
Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
Comments (6)
ooooh! Good one! 😊 (And so deliciously told!
Wow that’s creepy lol
Whoaaaaaa! I absolutely loved this! It reminded me a lot about the serial killer Ed Gein. He made furniture and objects using human skin, lol! But I never thought your story would go in that direction and I loved that twist! Absolutely brilliant!
Great job, Mike! You definitely nailed the ‘disturbing’ part.
Very interesting and well written.
Oh snap!!!!! Well you put the freak in freak-yyyyy!!! Great work with the prompt. You always come up with such original ideas :)