The Alumna

“When all the black cards come, you cannot barter;

No, when all your stars are stacked, you cannot win.

She'll shake her head and treat you like a martyr.

It is her blackest spell she puts you in,

Puts you in, puts you in.” – Joni Mitchell, 1969

The following information was excerpted from a report from the Office of the Sheriff of Arroyo County from November 2 of last year:

After numerous calls about what appeared to be an abandoned vehicle on County Road 999, a short distance from the T-junction at Farm Road 738, deputies investigated and did find a blue Ford Escort sedan, year 2000. The car was located at exactly three miles from said junction and appeared to have been driven into the ditch deliberately, the tracks indicating that it was not a gradual veering but rather an abrupt turn of 90 degrees.

A customary investigation has revealed that the car is registered to a Jonah Jimenez (pronounced hee-méh-nes), formerly from Biznagas, with a last known address in Amarillo. An examination of the vehicle produced two duffel bags with personal belongings, a small cassette recorder plugged into the cigarette lighter outlet, and two cassette tapes, one in the machine and the other in its case inserted into a cavity, which was cut into the fabric at the bottom of the tilting part of the passenger seat. The discarded wrapping and case of one cassette was found on the floor. The wrapping for the other cassette was pushed into the same space in the seat as the tape, and these might have been missed altogether save for the astute attentiveness of one of the deputies examining the car.

No fingerprints other than those of Mr. Jimenez were found on the vehicle, the cassette recorder, the cassette, or its wrapping.

Additional excerpts from follow-up reports:

At the juncture of Fm. Rd. 738 and 999, there is a large oak tree that has been used as a landmark for some years. It does not have any kind of ornament, star or otherwise, hanging in its branches.

Having looked and investigated, this office cannot explain the reference to a ‘Charmer’s Channel’. There is no such road at the location specified, which is exactly where the vehicle in question appears to have driven into the ditch. There are no markings of any kind that would suggest there ever was a road or path there, and the historical maps of the area do not show any kind of trail ever having existed there.

There is no community of any sort to be found in the area stipulated in the recording. This parcel of land was left unattended when the last owner, an Otto Cuthbert, passed away 20 years ago. It was never claimed by any relatives, it was escheated by the state four years later in lieu of unpaid taxes, and it has fallen back into its former natural condition over the years.

Records show that it was at this exact same spot on the road that a rental auto from Louisiana was recovered one year ago, with no trace of the renter. A search was conducted, as the rental agency sought to collect what was due, but the case has gone cold.

It should be noted as well that all banking accounts held by these two individuals have been drained and closed by persons unknown.

As to the matter of Amber Bream, no trace or records can be found of her or her family after her graduation from the high school in Biznagas.

Part 1

The tape in the machine contained only the words, “Perhaps I should start from the beginning …” It was verified by people who knew Mr. Jimenez that this is almost certainly in his voice. As revealed in the report, the back of the passenger seat had been tilted forward, a slit had been cut at the bottom of it, and it had been reset into the upward position. The other tape, the one hidden in this makeshift cavity, also in Mr. Jimenez’s voice, recounts the following narration and provides the only clues as to his whereabouts:

I am Jonah Jimenez. I am making this recording because I am lost in a rural area with which I am pretty much unfamiliar, it is as dark a night as I have ever known, and I am afraid that something is going to happen to me… something bad. I just suddenly have a bad feeling about all this. I will start at the beginning—where I believe this all started—and I will try to narrate this as well as I can, although I am not a very good storyteller… and I do feel as if I am pressed for time. I don’t know how it’s gotten so late, but it’s almost midnight now.

I grew up in Biznagas, a small farming and ranching town, went to school there and graduated. I was somewhat of a nerd, I guess, so I didn’t have many friends. Luckily, there were a couple of other guys like me and we got kind of close… We watched each other’s backs if you know what I mean.

There was a girl in my class, Amber Bream, who was sort of a plain-Jane. She didn’t seem to fit in with anybody, she wasn’t into sports or band or any other extracurricular stuff, and she didn’t take to trendy fashions. She wasn’t really unattractive, but she didn’t attract either. There was, however, one outstanding thing about her. She had bright red hair… And I mean it was really bright. She always had it in a sort of erratic style, what one might call out-of-control. You could easily see her coming from a distance, and you would always know it could only be her. And she was covered with freckles, all over.

After all I can think of to say about Amber, I can’t even remember if she was at our prom. That’s how indistinct or undistinguished she was. She was a pleasant enough and friendly girl, but she managed to be part of the class without anyone ever noticing if she was there or not. If it seems like I’m talking about her a lot, it’s because Amber is the reason I am here right now.

Taking Directions

About four months ago, we had our ten-year reunion. I was happy to see my two good friends again, with their wives. We spent a lot of our time reminiscing and getting caught up on the last decade. As I told them, I am still single but we all fared well.

After about an hour or so, I began to circulate, mixing in, meeting up with other old classmates. Curious thing… In most conversations, Amber’s name would come up sooner or later. Someone would comment in one way or another, “Hey, do you remember that red-haired girl? I wonder whatever became of her.” And so it would seem that the girl nobody ever seemed to notice or wanted to know anything about ten years ago, everyone could remember now without trying.

Anyway, most people had changed—in one way or another—and some had not. These latter ones still live in that same small, going-nowhere town but I guess they’re doing okay. After a while, I stepped outside to have a cigarette, wanting to see what I remembered as a sky full of stars… one of the things I came to miss in the city.

And I was not disappointed. It was mid-September, with the early signs of autumn, and there was a full moon hanging high in a sky that was absolutely teeming with stars. I inhaled off my cigarette, took a sip of wine, and became enthralled in the fresh air and the quiet and splendor of the moment. Then, I heard a woman’s voice behind me, soft and low-keyed.

“Hi, JJ.”

I turned to face an attractive woman whom I did not recognize at all. She was tall, about eye level with me, with beautiful, dark auburn hair done in a Cleopatra style. Her eyes were dark and her mascara had been applied to fit the hairstyle. And she was wearing a maroon mini-skirt with boots and what may have been a light cashmere sweater of a lighter maroon… Everything matched to a tee. I had no idea who she was.

And it must have shown, because she, at last, smiled and sort of chuckled and she said, “I’m Amber Bream. Remember?”

I could not believe my eyes! Amber!? This was that freckled, scrawny girl from high school!? She had turned into a beautiful, shapely woman with a sultry, arresting presence.

We spent the rest of the evening together, talking. I wanted to learn everything about her, as much about her girlhood, which I had seen fit to ignore back then, and about her recent past, where she had gone and what she was doing now. And it did not occur to me then that none of my queries were answered.

Somehow, she had been able to deflect every question with another question or she had changed the subject, and I, so mesmerized with her, had never noticed. But she did manage to learn a few things about me.

We spent the night together at a motel where she was staying. I’d like to say it was the best night of my life, except that I could not remember any of it, nor can I remember it now. When I woke up, she was sitting there on the side of the bed, fully dressed and ready to leave. I wanted to hold on to her forever, but she gently freed herself from my embrace and handed me a business card… blank except for her handwritten name and number.

“Look me up sometime,” she said. “I’m with a group of people… We do fun stuff… We stay away from… You know… ‘the maddening crowd’. Here’s a number where you can reach me when you’re ready to come find me. I’ll give you some directions then. Be prepared to stay a long while. I hope you come. I’d really like for you to come.”

And then, she kissed me and left. And I sat there on that bed, and all I could think was that I wanted to be with her. I was already making plans in my head about wrapping up all my affairs and then calling her and going to her, and it was all I could think about.

So I returned to Amarillo and turned in my resignation from my high-tech job. I was making good money there, and there were promotions coming up for me. I sold what I could of my things, gave some away, even left some stuff out on the sidewalk for people to take. I got an oil change and lube and otherwise prepped the car for a long road trip. And then I called Amber.

Another woman answered the phone. When I asked for Amber, she said she would go find her. It seemed like an eternity, but when I finally heard Amber’s voice, I said, “I’m ready to come find you.”

She didn’t seem surprised at all. In fact, her reaction was rather aloof. She simply said, “Oh… cool… Are you ready to take directions?”

And when I said I was ready, this is what she told me (I am recalling this in part from my note and from the way I remember the conversation), “If you’re starting out from Biznagas, take State Highway 534 north out of town. About seven miles out, you’ll come to County Road 303… You might remember this as the road that goes out towards that big oil refinery, which is to the right. But you’ll be going left there, or west. Watch your mileage. At three miles on 303, you’ll come to a crossing with Farm Road 738, make a right and go north for four miles. At four miles, there’s another farm road that only goes left (or west again). It isn’t very well marked, but there’s a large tree there, you can’t miss it… It’s large. And there’s an ornament hanging in the branches. If you shine a light up there, you’ll see a big, golden star. Anyway, this will be Farm Road 999. If you don’t see the road sign, you’ll know it by the tree with the star. You might want to bring a flashlight. Three miles west from this point, you’ll come to another road that also is not well marked, and it only goes right (or north). It’s called Charmer’s Channel. Watch your mileage closely, and when you reach three miles, look for a skull either mounted on a post or in the branches of a bush, it’ll be on your right. Just follow this little road. It’s kind of bumpy and windy, but it will bring you to us. You’ll know when you find us, it’s like a small community of several small houses. There are usually torches burning outside, and there will probably be music and dancing going on (we’re always celebrating something). And that’ll be the end of the road.”

Alone in the Dark

I came into Biznagas on Highway 534, and I could have turned on 303 right away. But I needed gas, and I thought I’d wash up a bit, so I did go all the way into town. And then, I followed her directions to the letter. And I was bursting with anticipation as I got closer. I was so excited about seeing her again, about being with her, I kept seeing her in my mind. I dare say, I think I had fallen in love with her.

I saw the large tree at Farm Road 999. I knew that was it, but out of curiosity, I stopped and shined my flashlight up into its branches. And sure enough, there is what appeared to be a metallic star suspended in the highest limbs. The curiosity is how it could have been hung up there. It is amidst the smallest of the branches, which would be too small to hold anyone’s weight. And it is so high up that I couldn’t really see a wire or string holding it in place. It just kind of hovered there, and it seemed to be swaying and spinning slowly.

Then, when I came upon Charmer’s Channel, this is where things began to get sort of weird. When Amber mentioned a skull, I had expected to see the skull of a cow or a horse, but instead, I was surprised and puzzled to see a human skull! I sat there in the car, staring at this thing—skeptical and curious—and I just didn’t know what to think. Then, I remembered that we’re getting very close to Halloween… And I thought this had to be some sort of decoration.

Curiosity got the best of me again, and I got out of the car to go look at it. I swear to whoever might be listening to this tape that if that was a store-bought artifact, it was the most realistic product I have ever seen. It did not look like or feel at all like plastic or ceramic. The coloration was so realistic, subtle and striking at the same time, and it had what appeared to be bits of flesh and skin and hair attached to it! It all seemed very real… And I was holding it in my hands! Of course, I was relying on a flashlight and the headlights of the car.

At this point, I am not sure why, I had to rationalize what I was holding in my hands. Either I had to convince myself that it couldn’t be real because of the implications of it, or I just wanted to be with Amber so bad that I could not accept this for what it was. I put it back in the position I had found it and got back in the car, and I proceeded up Charmer’s Channel. And I admit, as I think back, I was ignoring the little voice in my head. Something did not feel right, but I could only think of being with Amber.

Amber wasn’t kidding when she said it would be bumpy and windy. This is just a dirt road that seems like it hasn’t been used in a very long time. It keeps veering around trees or stumps, and it’s full of ruts and large rocks, or tree roots that, at times, rub against the undercarriage. Other times, I’ve had to drive over patches of tall weeds or grasses, and the road almost becomes lost. I’ve had to drive extremely slowly for fear of damaging the car.

It is only now that it occurs to me… How I timed my trip so badly that I ended up out here in the middle of the night. And now that I think about it, Amber seemed to know… She suggested I bring a flashlight. I set out of Amarillo early in the morning. The day just went by, and here I am. But it shouldn’t be this late.

And it’s so dark out here that after only a couple of miles on this ridiculous road, with my foot on the brake and tossing about from the ruts and the bumps, I couldn’t take it anymore. As much as I wanted to be with Amber, it was at this point that I began feeling very much like a fool for being out here in this situation.

I thought about turning back, but I couldn’t find any place in the road where I could do that. And I even thought that maybe I could back up all the way to 999. I put the car in reverse and only then realized that I could hardly see out the back window. But I tried … and then I hit a rut and got stuck. I’ve tried all the maneuvering I know to get out of spots like this, and nothing’s worked. The car is really stuck.

I remembered Amber saying that there would be music, so I got out and listened, hoping I might be near enough now to walk over. And I thought I heard something. I’m not sure what it was. It may have been music and laughter, but it was barely audible. I know this sounds crazy, but it seemed as if it was far away and really close at the same time… or fading in and out, almost… yes, almost as if it was drawing me in. Except I couldn’t tell where it was coming from.

I tried the car horn, hoping somebody might hear it and come to my rescue. There’s no other sound out here… nothing. Any noise out of the ordinary should carry a long way, or so one would think. I must have tried for fifteen or twenty minutes. No one came.

So now, I’m sitting here in the dark, feeling very much alone, and a horrible feeling of dread has crept over me. I’ve remembered my cassette recorder. If I record what has happened so far, and if I’ve been set up for some kind of foul play—and I think I have— they, whoever they are, are sure to find the tape and destroy it or take it.

So I will hide this tape, and I can only hope that someone—not they—will find it. And I will place another tape in the deck, and hopefully, that will throw them off. All I can do now is start walking back and see how far I get. As a parting thought, I will add this: I am out in the country, at least twenty miles from the nearest town. The sky should be filled with stars, but there are none. It’s pitch black out here. I’m glad I have a flashlight. Please, I pray, find this tape.

r. nuñez, 6/2018