That's Love, Isn't It?

by Dakota Shadow about a year ago in psychological

A Lifeless Room

That's Love, Isn't It?

"If I told you I am going to kill myself, how would you react? Panic? Call the police? Sit down and talk me through it? No, you’d let me die."

"Now I don’t mean that in a harsh inconsiderate way, but you’d let me die because it’s my choice because that is what I want to do with my life. Am I wrong?"

She looks at you with curiosity.

"Yes, I would let you die."

"I know."

You roll up your sleeves and reveal deep, red cuts running up your arms. You wonder how she didn't notice before.

"I'm bleeding out. What are you going to do?"

"Nothing," she whispers.

You both make your way to the tub. It’s marble, white, beautiful, soon to be corrupted by the blood collecting and dripping from your arms. You take your first step in, staining the side, as the blood ripples around the water. She watches you, as you slide your naked body into the tub, slowly submerging under the water. After your body is completely encapsulated, she quietly slides her way behind you, balancing herself on the rim of the tub. She traces the sides of your body with the tip of her finger, managing not to apply too much pressure.

You believed that she loved you, but now as the light drains from your pale blue eyes and they start to gloss over, you come to realize that she worshiped you. But that's close enough to love, isn't it?

You feel your body going numb, but she holds you. The tips of your fingers tingle as her soft, brown hair covers your face. She places her chin in the crest of your neck, her breathing is warm and calm.

"What will you do after I’m gone?"


"For what?"

She doesn’t respond.

The water has turned pink, your skin becomes paler, the blood draining from your face and you know that she will hold onto your body as long as she can bear. You are dying to let go but something keeps holding you back. You twist your body around and hold her, wrapping your legs around one another and focus on the energy leaving you and entering her. She will be beautiful.

Her green eyes stare into yours and she tells you nothing. You will leave this world without ever truly knowing her. You press your forehead against hers and your tears seem to intermingle with hers. Your eyes start blinking rapidly and now is the time to tell her goodbye. She notices that your body is giving up and she squeezes you ever so slightly. And as your eyes start to roll back into your head you see her in all her glory. Bright blue wings spread and she consumes you, she is beautiful.

But she’s not. She’s alone, sitting in a tub, in a dark room, lacked of light. A lifeless body drained of blood presses against hers, sitting in a pool of dark red, staining her skin and the marble tub. The torn curtains unable to contain the night's ominous glow. Cobwebs fill the room, and she is finally able to pull her head off her dear companion, but looking back at her is the sunken in eyes of the skull remaining.

"I know I said that I would do nothing if you chose to die, and I meant it. But what I didn’t enclose is that I am coming with you."

Two bodies wrapped around one another, in a tub stained red. A dark room, in an abandoned house, in the middle of the night lays awake for those who wander. The dark room, lacking of hope, of light, drained. The rats feasting on the carcasses of those who chose to stay. But that’s love, isn’t it?

Dakota Shadow
Dakota Shadow
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Dakota Shadow

Dakota Shadow was a pen name given to me by my adopted mother just so you know. I am somebody who struggles with mental illness and is learning her way through relationships and the lessons of living.

See all posts by Dakota Shadow