Steak through the Heart

‘Darling, could you pass the butter please?’ Cassandra Reece was a formidable woman, who looked like she didn’t need any extra butter.

Henry stared into the distance, pushing a chunk of his steak around the plate.

‘Henry, did you hear me? Could you pass me the butter please?’

‘Sorry mum, my mind’s elsewhere,’ he absently pushed the butter dish to her. ‘I keep thinking about Steph.’

‘Oh, darling, I know it’s difficult, but try to eat your food. You’ll feel better on a full stomach.’

‘I know,’ he smiled forlornly. ‘I’m sorry mum, it’s delicious. As always.’

‘That’s my boy, you always did like my cooking.’

‘Always will, mum. You know that.’

Cassandra generously coated her thick slice of bread with butter then scooped up some of the peppercorn sauce, pushing the food into her wide-open mouth. As she smiled at Henry a golden rivulet of melted butter dripped from her lips and down her chin.

‘Goodness me I’m a mess, aren’t I?’ she said through a mouthful of bread. ‘Your father always used to tell me off for it, said I was a glutton. Not that he was without his habits.’

‘What’s the occasion, mum?’ Henry asked, smirking.

‘What do you mean, darling?’

‘It’s just that you never talk about dad. Just wondering why you decided to mention him now.’

‘I’m sorry, Henry,’ she said, wiping the butter off with the back of her hand. ‘I suppose, what with Steph gone, it just brought it back to me. Reminded me of when he left us.’

‘Don’t compare him to Steph!’ he banged his cutlery down onto the table. ‘From what you’ve told me, he was a monster!’

‘He wasn’t the nicest man in the world, no.’

‘Wasn’t the nicest man? You said he was a pig! Shouting insults at you, trying to control you… He sounds the furthest thing from nice. I’m glad he left.’

‘Yes, he’s long gone,’ she shifted uncomfortably in her seat. ‘I made sure he went and he’ll never bother us again.’

‘Do you know where he is?’ Henry’s curiosity was piqued, against his better judgment.

‘No. All I know is he went far away. He could be anywhere by now. I’m just glad he isn’t here any more.’

‘So Steph is nothing like him then. She isn’t abusive or anything like that. You can’t compare the two of them.’

Cassandra flushed and looked down at her plate contemplatively. She started cutting her steak into small pieces as she fidgeted. The ruby-red juices slowly seeped out onto the white of the china, combining with the peppercorn sauce to make a pinky-brown smear. She speared a moderate chunk of the steak and turned it over and around in the sauce, coating every last millimetre, before lifting it up to her face, inspecting it before putting it into her mouth and slowly chewing, clearly savouring the taste with every bud on her tongue.

‘You’re right, of course, darling,’ she started to speak quickly as soon as she’d swallowed her morsel. ‘She isn’t bad. I know she didn’t shout at you, or anything like that. And I don’t think she ever will. She’s not tough, like your dad was. Vulnerable, I’d say, which would account for her always looking for attention.’

‘What do you mean by that?’ Henry asked.

She swiped a plump, manicured finger through the sauce on the plate then licked it off, moaning softly with delight at the flavour filling her mouth, before turning back to Henry.

‘Oh just that he was full of himself. He was strong and had no issues letting me know it. He just wasn’t a nice man. Your gran wasn’t too keen on him either, she always made sure to give him a piece of her mind. He certainly gave her a piece of his in return though’

‘I meant about the attention thing, what did you mean?’ Henry frowned as he continued to push the food around his plate.

‘I just don’t think she was the best person for you. I don’t want to make a meal out of it, darling, I was just saying,’ Cassandra put down her fork and leaned in closer, taking her son’s hand in her own. ‘I know all about her… how can I put this without sounding harsh?’

‘Her reputation, mum. You know all about her reputation. I’m twenty four, you don’t need to sugar-coat it.’

‘Okay fine. I knew about her reputation. The whole bloody town does. I’ve heard people calling her Halfords, that many people have been in and had a ride.’

‘Wow, mum. I said don’t sugar-coat it. I didn’t mean tear her to pieces!’

‘You’re right again, I’m sorry.’ She picked her fork back up and looked for the next piece to devour. ‘I just didn’t want you to get hurt. You’re my little boy, of course I’m going to worry! I’ve heard all about these blonde bombshell types.’ She made a point of patting her own auburn hair.

Henry wasn’t fully satisfied with this, but his mother’s concern was of some comfort to him. He picked up his own fork and picked up the smallest piece of flesh from the plate.

He chewed slowly for a few seconds, then stopped. As he swallowed, he turned to face his mother.

‘What do you mean, you didn’t want me to get hurt?’ He drew his words out carefully. ‘Did you do something? Have you said something to her?’

‘Of course not, darling,’ Cassandra flushed slightly. ‘Why would I do something like that?’

‘Because you hate her!’

‘Come on now, I wasn’t overly fond of her, but would I do that to you? Your own mother?’

Henry picked up another piece of his steak. While he chewed, his mother started back on her meal, her plate significantly emptier than his. They sat in tense silence for what seemed to Henry like hours. In the time he took to eat two more pieces of his dinner, Cassandra had finished hers of and was wiping the remnants of sauce and meat juices with her bread.

‘What did happen to dad then?’ Henry finally broke the silence. ‘Did he just up and leave? Did you throw him out?’

‘You didn’t know your father. If you did, you’d know that he’d never leave of his own accord.’ Cassandra frowned. ‘No, I had to get rid of him myself.’

‘You threw him out?’ Henry chuckled.

‘I forcibly got rid of him. Everything he got, he deserved; the way he was gave me real food for thought, and I acted on those thoughts.’

‘How come you never met anyone else then? Sorry if that’s a bit too personal, just thought I’d ask, while we’re having this kind of chat.’

‘After dealing with a man like him, I didn’t want to put myself in that position again. Or you. I wanted to make sure my little baby boy was safe. And I was put off men for good after him!’ It was her turn to chuckle. ‘He was such a pig, just left a bad taste in my mouth so I decided to stay single. Just me and you.’ Her grin was as wide as her face as she squeezed the top of his arm.

‘Still doesn’t mean Steph was like him though. She’s great, and funny, and sweet.’

‘And a lot of other things! Like I said, she has a reputation.’ Cassandra frowned.

‘That reputation has been blown out of proportion. She’s only had three boyfriends before me. You know how much people talk around here. Having three boyfriends doesn’t make her a slut!’

‘Well, maybe these three boyfriends of hers were all at the same time. Rumours always begin in truth, remember?’ Cassandra’s soothing tone belied the sentiment of her words.

Henry slammed his cutlery down on the table so hard his plate jumped up and threatened to fall off the table. The legs of his chair screeched as he pushed it back and stood up. He turned to face his mother, red-faced, his mouth set in a thin, white line.

‘You have no idea what you’re talking about! She’s nothing like the way you’re making her out to be. She’s a good person!’

‘So good that she went off and didn’t even tell you it was over or say goodbye?’ There was the slightest shade of a smirk on Cassandra’s lips. ‘Why don’t you sit back down? Your dinner’s going to get cold.’

Henry’s shoulders sagged as he slumped heavily back into his seat.

‘I wish I knew where she was. I miss her, and I just want to know what I did wrong.’ The flush faded from his cheeks as he looked down at the floor.

‘Stop that now, you did nothing wrong. She was the wrong one. You’ve always got me, though,’ she smiled. ‘Nothing could ever come between us, you know you’ll always be my little baby boy, no matter how old you are.’

‘Is that why you hated her?’ He turned to face her again. ‘You thought she was going to take away your little baby boy?’

‘I told you, I don’t hate her.’

‘It’s obvious, mum. The way you talk about her, it’s almost like you’re glad she’s gone!’

‘Please don’t get angry. Like I said, I just want what’s best for you. You’re all I have in the world.’

‘I know, and I want the best for you too, but I also want to know where the hell she is. And why she hasn’t been in touch with me.’

‘My poor boy, I hate to see you so sad. I’m sure she’s closer than you realise. Now, how about another slice?’