Slight Opening

“There was only one rule: don’t open the door.”

I would say this to myself several times a day. Mam would not like it!

“Don’t open the door, you little brat!” A slap would soon follow. A punch or maybe more names. I would try to be invisible. As though I did not exist. Yet I still caused her discomfort.

So, I stayed here, not good enough for the world. Yet there is safety in stillness. There is comfort in familiarity even when there is pain. I stayed away from the door. Stayed away from the unknown until today.

I’m not sure when I saw the stream of light come through. A slight opening through a crack in the ceiling. Suddenly there were colors cascading on the window beside the door. I was drawn to it. Could not help myself.

Mam would not like it! Yet I moved towards the window until I was staring at this haggard looking woman. “Mam?” I moved closer as did the woman. Her hands raised as did mine.

Then I remembered. Mam had passed years ago. The drawn face staring back at me was my own. A reflection of life not yet lived. Not all wounds heal with time. Her abuse kept me hidden. It was time to open the door!