Santa Claus in the middle of the Night

They say that Santa Claus is not what he is made out to be. Of course, everyone knows Santa as this big fat jolly guy dressed in red. He comes in the middle of the night and leaves presents for kids that have been good all year. It is also believed that cookies and milk should be left for him to snack, for he does travel the whole world during the night and needs his power snacks.

One would guess that is why he is quite a fat dude. He eats a butt-load of sugar with gallons of milk in one night in order to get his presents out. Anyway, the fact is that this myth of Santa being a nice dude that has the privilege to award people who have been good all year long on the date that supposedly Jesus was born, December 25th, is not seen the same by some.

Other tales tell it differently. Seriously, we are talking about a fat dude that doesn’t work all year long and happens to be one of the most judgmental people in the whole world. Oh yeah, the elves. They work for free all year making toys for this fat lazy man. Why is Santa seen or depicted like he is good!

Some people say that if a person wakes up at night and sees Santa Claus, their souls get taken by him. In which later, Santa disposes of these souls in hell. That is what the giant sack is for. See, Santa not only has the power to reward people that have behaved all year long, but he is also the punisher of curiosity. Santa is not supposed to be seen. If he is seen by any person while delivering gifts during the morning hours of Christmas, that person's soul is doomed.

See, Santa Claus wears red. This is also the significance that he could be a demon. Like the jingle states, “he sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you’re awake.” The song continues by saying that “he knows when you been bad or good.” This implies that he is all-knowing, kind of like God. Santa Claus had god-like powers! So, if one dares to actually witness Santa in real life, one would get punished, because Santa is actually a demon who has been granted the power to break into homes.

Another scary thing about Santa is that he actually has claws. That is why he is called Santa Claus, as in actual claws! That is part of his ability to take your soul if you happen to see him at night. It is said that Santa’s claws can capture one’s soul by extending them out like a dark shadow dancing across the walls. These supernatural claws have the ability to suck the life out of a person, hence their soul.

I believe in this belief that Santa Claus is more than just a fat-jolly-old man. I believe that he is actually a demon waiting to snag the souls of the curious because this happened to my cousin in Argentina. See, my cousin Gustavo lost his father to Santa Claws. About 20 years ago, Gustavo’s father, my uncle, waited for Santa one night. The next morning they found my uncle in the middle of the floor with his body dried up like a raisin. It looked like the essence was sucked out of him. The whole town went crazy that year, and it was proven that Santa was actually a demon that flew in the night stealing the souls of those who dared look at him.

There was also a video attempt to capture the footage by my uncle, but the tape went blank once Santa Claws entered the room. At least, that is what supernatural experts believed. So, next time you leave any snacks for Santa, make sure it is not your soul!

You know what, I’m kidding. There is no such thing as Santa Claws. Still, make sure you behave during the year, so you can end it on a good note.

So, ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas ya' bunch of fools!!!

By Bazooka Teaches