Running

The mirror shattered as it hit the ground, leaving one piece hanging limply off of the fixture. One piece big enough to see my eyes and nose. My eyes. The once beautiful blue orbs that shone brightly with joy, happiness, and serenity were now replaced with the dull gleaming reflection from the single light bulb sitting keenly above the broken mirror.

The pieces scattered on the ground in a million little pieces and I couldn’t help but think about it being a perfect metaphor for life. You start out complete and then as life goes on you get weaker and weaker until one day you just shatter. Looking back to the solitary piece swinging gently away from the wall I glared. Long and hard. The person looking back at me was not me. Simply a look alike standing there mocking me as I tried to figure out who she was and what she wanted. I was at a loss, just as I had been for a while now.

“Sasha?” I heard the voice of my twin sister question quietly. I kept glaring. There was something in my now grey eyes that was so unrecognizable; I was far from being the same girl I had been last year. I knew it scared Sabrina, frankly it scared me but I was too far gone. There was no way I could go back. Even if I could, there was no way I would.

“Sasha?” Her timid voice rang through my ears once again, knocking me out of whatever trance I had put myself into. Without saying a word to her, I walked up to the piece. The one single shard hanging there for dear life as if it were trying to be this symbolic being for hope and justice. At least, that is what Sabrina would think of it. Slowly, I reached up and knocked it down. Hitting the ground at full velocity it shattered like the rest, joining its fallen brethren. Sabrina jumped, but my sights were transfixed on the gleaming jagged edges that shone up to me appearing to be perfect little diamonds. How deceitful.

“You know, in some cultures people believe that mirrors are powerful. They cover them up when someone dies thinking that the mirror can trap the soul. Because of this aspect they believe that mirrors are the true window to the soul, thinking that you can lie to the world but you can’t lie to your reflection, to yourself.” Sabrina looked at a loss for words standing there with her jaw slacked open trying to think of what the appropriate thing to say in this time would be, so I continued. “I think that is bullshit. Mirrors help appropriate the lie, giving you a means to practice and once you get good enough, you can even start believing the stories you tell everyone else.”

She just stared with big open eyes. The same blue that mine were. The same hair that I had. The same face. She was a perfect representation to what I was, what I previously had been. Innocent, sweet, happy. I’ve always loved her, I’ve always protected her, I always will. That is why I have to do this and tonight. Slowly she approached me, similar to how you would approach a wild animal that you weren’t sure of, but I suppose at this point that is exactly how she saw me. Suddenly she flung her arms around me and buried her head in my shoulder, she may have been my senior by twelve minutes but I was taller. That was how anyone ever told us apart.

“If you keep running, you know what will happen.” She whispered in my ear on the verge of tears. I too felt as if my heart was being torn out of my chest as my eyes burned and my throat felt constricted. I wanted nothing more than to come home and see my mother on the couch, drinking tea and my father watching the basketball game. I wanted nothing more than to lay in bed with my sister and cry but I knew better. Those were luxuries long departed from my life. So I did what I had always done and swallowed the darkness that was hovering dangerously close to the edge.

“But if I don’t, it will be worse.” I told her in the same tone. She curtly nodded her head once to let me know she understood and began to update me on what was going on in the house and at school just as she has done everyday for the past 8 months in every place I have been. Though she didn’t know that this would be the last.

So far they have found every place I have hid in the city even after the complete look change, I realised I was being selfish keeping my family so close. I was putting them in danger even if they didn’t know it, that is why I have to leave. That is why everything has to change, no more cutting it half way. Tonight is the night.