Reflection

The mirror showed a reflection that wasn’t my own. Looking back, I should’ve recognized something was amiss. Most things felt as if they weren’t as they appeared. The reflection looked as I did. The facial expressions mimicked my own. Her face was nearly identical. Her gaze was not as it was prior to that day. Her gaze now questioned me, challenged me and mocked me. The person in the mirror winked at me as I backed away from their stare. I questioned them with my brows and a devious smirk is what was returned. I felt the low bass of a chuckle. I sensed a malevolent energy pulsating towards me.

I gripped my eyes tight and shook my head. This had to be fake. This had to be a trick of the mind. I swallowed away the fear of looking back upon the mirror. Slowly I gained my courage and began to open my eyes as I lifted my head. My hands dropped to my sides. I released a slow breath.

A cool finger touched my hand, sending shock through me. I quickly pulled away and stumble on something… someone.

“Momma,” my four-year-old daughter says in a concerned tone, “I was calling you.” Holy shit… I rest my hand over my heaving chest.

Breathing heavily and trying not to appear alarmed by my daughter’s presence, I looked to her with a raised hand, waiting for mine. We joined hands and in that moment I remembered why I was so driven to distraction. I stepped in front of my child and looked into the mirror. The reflection was none other than my own. I blinked a few times and thought to myself, I need to get better sleep. I dragged my hand through my damp hair.

“Are you okay, momma?” She tugged at my other hand.

“Yes, baby. I’m okay.” I gave her small hand a squeeze. “Let’s get you some breakfast.” I looked into the mirror as we walked out of my room… just as I breached the doorway and went to turn into the hallway, the reflection winked at me once again…

Throughout the day, my winking, smirking reflection haunted me. Was that me? Every time I closed my eyes for a split second or even blinked, I received a shiver up my spine that radiated through my body. So much so, that a coworker asked me if I was cold. I excused them as random chills.

Am I just exhausted? Did I really witness my reflection winking at me? Maybe I smirked and didn’t realize it. Perhaps it’s time for a vacation… haven’t taken one since my daughter was born. I tapped my pen on my desk as I stared at the same document that had been on my screen all day. I may have read the first sentence… 23 times. My desk clock read 4:13 pm. I decided to leave early and pick my daughter from daycare as opposed to her taking the bus home and not getting home until 6pm.

“Hi babygirl.” I knelt down as she ran to me.

“Momma!” Her voice trialed through the hallway.

“Wanna get some ice cream?” I whispered as I picked her up.

“Before dinner?” Her smile was huge. I nodded yes and she giggled with excitement.

After ice cream, we headed home. She sang to her songs playing in the car. Her feet bounced up and down, her arms swayed side to side as I watched her in the rear-view mirror. Her happiness and pure joy dismissed my incident with the mirror. Her eyes met mine and I was filled with love. When she looked away, I thought to myself, All is well. Everything will be fine! I looked to myself and there she was; the reflection from my bedroom mirror, now in this mirror. Startled, I jerked the wheel and collided with a parked car. My daughter’s pure happiness was replaced with a screech of utter fear. Yelling out for me, gripping to the straps of her car seat, I came to a screeching halt. I turned my head to look at my girl and my heart broke. I drove up and pulled the car over, jumped out and pulled my frightened daughter from the car. Her tears soaked my shirt while I was being drenched by her fright.

“A cat?” law enforcement repeated my explanation. Even the tow truck driver didn’t seem convinced. After an hour, I was given an accident report and sent on my way.

My daughter was excited to see her granddad. My dad offered to stay the night. My husband and I were no longer together and my father always knew when I needed him around for reassurance and assistance. After some convincing from the sweetest voice in the universe, I gave in to the sleepover. They camped out on the living room floor. Dad was going to spend the day with her tomorrow so I could relax and complete minor tasks that I had been put putting off for far too long.

In my room, I sat at the edge of my bed and listened to my two favorite people converse. It’s the giggle for me. I caught my image in the mirror and before she had a chance to alter, I draped a dark purple sheet over the mirror mounted on my closet door. Convinced that the sheet was enough, I readied a bubble bath. My favorite self-care method. Chamomile and coconut filled the air. Lights dimmed, I climbed into my small piece of heaven on earth. The bubbles engulfed me. The salt dissolved under me. The oils smoothed my skin. The water moved to the beat of my heart.

Eyes closed, slow breaths and my knees slightly above water, I dropped under the water. Something graced the top of my knee. Expecting to see my daughter, I lifted out of the water… no one to be seen. Confused, I pull myself from the tub. I wrapped my hair and body and open the bathroom door to an empty hallway. I walked to the stairs and hustled to the first floor. I must have startled my father because he sat up quickly.

“Is something the matter?” He held his hand to his chest.

“I, um, I…” I took a few short breaths as I looked at my sleeping child on the floor, “No. Nothing is the matter. I just thought I heard… something.” I gripped my towel tight.

“We are fine. Go dress before you catch a chill.” My father excused me from his presence and laid back down.

Wearily, I made my way back to my bedroom. I did catch a chill when I walked into my room and seen that the sheet had fallen. I rushed to put it back up and closed the closet door to hold the sheet in place. My nerves on edge, I quickly lotion-ed, put on a night dress and laid down. Under my mountain of blankets, I watched the hanging sheet intensely. Every time I fell asleep, I would jolt back up to the image of my reflection winking at me. Her chuckle would send adrenaline through me.

The slow removal of my blankets being pulled from the base of my bed, jolted me awake. I was stiff and had no control of my own senses. I look to an altered image of myself slowly crawling towards me. Eyes yellow and captivating, hair dark as the midnight sky, complexion that of a shadow. As they pass each cell in my body reacts with a fear that is new to me. My skin crawled, my mouth dried and my voice alluded me. My words were replaced with the intent of my chimera. She made her way above me; her body thinner, longer, darker. Her energy not of my own. Her smile sharp and her teeth pointed. Her split-tongue slid up the side of side of my face; exciting my senses. She swallowed the essence of my panic. The chimera’s hand hovered above my face. Her finger attempting to pull my spirit from my third eye. An internal battle ensued. Danger entangled with pleasure. Ecstasy intertwined with trepidation. I felt my eyes beginning to roll back in my head.

Confusion took over me. Why was I becoming aroused? Her hand traced my figure. Why was my body responding to her with this tingling sensation? The cool of her tongue being dragged along my neck. Why have I allowed her to capture me so? My mind called out for help but my mouth moaned with anticipation. How was this possible? My hysterical mind was replaced with an elated peak of euphoria. What is happening to me? My body convulsed with a blissful buzz.

She was not verbal but I was encouraged to ‘give in’… within, she said to me, “Why pollute pleasure with contempt?” No more questioning…

I mentally begged for her to remove my night dress. The heat of by body was intense and I feared that my clothing would interrupt my pleasure. She obliged. Slithering her tongue along my body meeting my bare skin, again. Her essence had a chill to it. Cool but hot with desire. I could feel the towel from my head fall away. My hair damp, I swallowed with anticipation.

Still unable to move or speak, the weight of the chimera became heavier, more consuming. She met her fingertips with mine. She placed her forehead against mine. She matched her hips with mine. As our noses brushed, I could feel her tongue entering my mouth; the tips of her tongue brushed the roof of my mouth and followed the trail of my throat. I swallowed the essence of her this time.

Again, my body began to respond to her intensity. Shivers along my skin erected every hair on my body. My eyes were enraptured by her glare. Hypnotized by her influence, I surrendered myself. I could feel her entering me, conjoining our bodies as one, with each breath I took she became more consuming. Her relentless seduction was ceaseless. Her persistent offer of pleasure blinded my intelligence, my reasoning. The chimera’s hands guided my own, offering assistance to excite. This solace felt eternal, never-ending. Tossing about the bed, pulling the sheets under me, sounds of pure delight into my pillows, kicking my blankets from my immediate area, I allowed her take complete control of me, sexually. I gave myself away to her wants. To her needs. And I felt no reservations about it.

She sibilated and I moaned. She guided and I followed. She was demanding and I subservient. Give in is what I did! I closed my eyes to a deep darkness of ecstasy and opened my eyes to daybreak and just like that, she was gone. The hung sheet now laying on the floor. No sign of her ever being in my room. My bed was still intact, my night dress still upon me. My towel still resting on my head. I pull my blankets from me and go to look in the mirror. Searching for her, she was absent. I stood in the mirror and waited for her to reappear.

I heard my daughter call out for me. I looked at myself one more time and noticed a slight change in my appearance. My face fuller, the black from under my eyes removed, my body plumper and more appealing. My hair thicker and my eyes more daring. I winked at myself this time. I touched the mirror and blew myself a kiss.

“Mamma…” Her voice got closer to me.

I was caught up in my own gaze when she entered my room. I turned slowly towards her and to my surprise, she backed away. I called out to her and knelt, awaiting her embrace. She screeched and ran off. I followed after her, calling out to her to come to mamma and asking her what was wrong. She flew down the stairs and into my father’s arms as if I were an intruder. My dad looked to her and then to me, not knowing what to make of it.

“Babygirl, what’s wrong?” she recoiled when I touched her arm. “Baby, look at mamma.” She peaked her head out from my father’s chest. When our eyes met, she recognized me and leap into my arms. “What’s wrong?”

Still frightened and sobbing, “Your eyes were yellow.”