Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Jaws' (1975)

Do I even need SPOILER alerts? Seriously, it is literally a crime to have not watched this movie. If you haven't seen Jaws (1975), stop reading and go watch it. It is mandatory viewing for Horror Heads.

Just look at that fucking poster! That fucking poster is the reason some people can't swim in water if they can't see the bottom. That poster is the reason everyone is so damn afraid of sharks that it turned into social hysteria. This movie is the reason that 'Shark Horror' IS IT'S OWN SUBGENRE.

I've seen this movie more times than I can count, and that opening scene is STILL one of the most brutal moments in horror. I mean the way that actress sold abject dred deserved an Oscar. Hell, even the child actor did dying right. THESE WERE FUCKING EXTRAS! We haven't even started talking about Roy Scheider or Richard Dreyfuss. And fucking Robert Shaw and whatever the fuck he was channeling. Robert Shaw has one of the most iconic scenes in cinema, let alone horror. When he talks about his passed and getting picked off one by one by sharks; chills down your spine. And let's not forget one of the most iconic lines in cinema "You're gonna need a bigger boat." Or how about "Smile, you son of a *BOOM*!"

This movie has this level of tension that it starts and manages to maintain from the very beginning. The damn shark is like the fucking sword of Damocles, always looming. Like even when you're on land you expect it to just start flying. And what's really strange is that there's absolutely nothing about the atmosphere that really does it. Sure two of the attacks happen at night, but most of this movie takes place in broad daylight, on sunny beach days. It's fucking hard to make a setting that chill seem tense. Just the idea of the shark fucks you up. And that's with a massive lull in the movie. For a solid 30 minutes, a huge portion of the movie, nothing really happens. This is mostly for exposition. But here's the thing, the movie never gets boring and the tension stays high. There's a moment when the whole tone of the movie changes and for a short moment, it feels like a high-seas adventure. AND THE MOVIE STILL MANAGES TO STAY TENSE. It's like they were intentionally doing things wrong just to see if they could get away with it, and they DO.

Let's not forget about Bruce the Shark. Damn thing kept breaking down but it was still some of the most brilliant practical FX in history. That ancient tech still looks the shit. It's basically the shark version of a rubber monster but it's damn good by those standards. Bruce is a goddamn icon. He's basically a character. Fucker has a personality from the way he's portrayed in each scene. It's like there's malice behind the kills and there is nothing in the plot to make you think this is anything more than an "animal attacks" movie. There are scenes where Bruse seems to be fucking with people, like he's playing with his food. There's almost a supernatural level to Bruce. His unusual size, his level of cleverness, the fact that he pulled three whole kegs under the water, then scuttles the fucking ship, a feat that would take unnatural strength even for a huge great white shark. This goddamn shark started a mythos that lead to a shark that kills for revenge. YES that concept was dumb, but it kinda made sense the way Bruce was always portrayed. It's funny in the one scene where they measure out how much tranquelizer to give bruce and I'm just like... why not give it the whole bottle? What? They're worried they're gonna hurt it?

But yes, this movie is mandatory viewing for Horror Heads. It might seriously be mandatory viewing for Cinefiles.