Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'It Follows'

by Reed Alexander 11 months ago in movie review

Sexually Transmitted Demon

Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'It Follows'

Alright. I was impressed. This wasn't the steaming pile of red hot bloody diarrhea that I was expecting. I guess I have to give Dimension Films some credit... I haven't done that since Event Horizon. But yeah, I can give this movie my general approval even though it has GOT to be one of the all time dumbest concepts I've ever heard of. A sexually transmitted demon... mmmmokay. I guess it's original.

You know what I just love about this movie though? The fucking atmosphere. The set, the cars, the way the kids dressed. Every fucking detail. It had this feeling like those old 70s/80s movies that I grew up loving so much. No detail was spared in the spirit of classic horror, right down to the synth music. Fuck, it just took me back. I really appreciated that.

It was interesting though. While it went for the general feel of the classic 70s/80s horror genre, it would throw in modern technology. One of the co-stars carries around a Kindle in the shape of a clam shell. But the cars are classic, the clothing is vintage. It's kinda like the TV series Firefly. They're traveling through space in a space ship, but the inside of the spaceship looks like an old diesel submarine, right down to the intercoms.

Here's something that bothered me, without going into spoilers...What exactly are the fucking rules? Does it have to be penis in vagina sex? Does it have to be unprotected? Do you have to cum? Does anal count? Does oral count? What would happen in a three way? These are important fucking questions for a movie about a sexually transmitted demon. I mean, could you fuck a wild hog and just make the fucking demon chase the hog around the woods for a couple of years? Could you imagine that poor sexually transmitted demon thing trying to 'Elmer Fudd' on a wild hog?

Isn't it great when horror movies have loopholes that bring out the hillbilly in me?

SPOILERS!!!

I call bullshit on a couple of things though. It took the demon thingy one day to get out to the hunting lodge. We can say that this is possible, why not. It clearly doesn't get tired, it might be walking only, but it certainly doesn't slow down. But if it was just one day to get to the hunting lodge, why did it take three days to get back and kill the dude that the female lead passed it on to. That's not including however long she was in the hospital. What, it took a break or something? Did it stop for an ice-cream? And once the one kid passed it off to the female lead, why did he tell everyone that he kept seeing it? Why would he see it? Wouldn't it be miles away trying to get the girl he passed it off too? Would it just stop by every now and then as a reminder or some shit like that? "Sup. You're next buddy..."

And besides sexually, what are the fucking rules this thing behaves on? It's clearly physical, but you can only see it once it's been passed to you. But you don't need to have it passed to you to interact with it. It knocks the one kid a couple feet back. It gets a chair busted over it's back. It's forced to break windows and use doors. If you put an obstacle in it's way, it will have to move it or go around. There multiple scenes where it takes a bullet and falls over, though it just gets back up anyway. It is physical in some way, so can it technically be trapped or killed? Could you get it locked in a safe, cement the safe and drop it to the bottom of the ocean? Food for thought.

Any who... yeah it was okay. Most will likely enjoy this movie.

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Reed Alexander

I'm the foulmouthed horror movie critic.  I post new reviews every Wednesday and Sunday, so stay tuned =D

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