Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Creature Lake' (2015)

I want to remind you that I grade on a curve when it comes to a film’s production level. When it's student quality films like this, I automatically consider everything in a higher light than it really deserves. This is to respect the fact that production is running on zero budget.

For instance, you could tell these guys shot on location at their own cabin, or at least at a cabin they'd rented. This is a smart move, using assets you already have to your advantage so you can reduce production costs.

That being said, fuck these guys, fuck this movie, and fuck any excuses they cook up. This movie starts as a completely garbage bro fest in the beginning, then loses its own story among bad plot directives and blatant racism.

So yeah, the acting was okay for student film quality. The atmosphere was nature grown with a sprinkling of shaky camera. The story made sense, but the plot gets completely fucking lost. Actually, if I can give the 'Woman Hater's Club' any credit at all (because every last one of their characters is unlikable), they can at least aim their cameras straight.

SPOILERS!!!

'Black Guy Dies First' and seriously, for no good reason. There are five guys, all equally developed in the plot, none of whom are more essential to the plot than any other, and they wax the black dude first for no damn good reason. This sets off a string of exceptionally needless racists bullshit, not that there weren't racist overtones before this point. They basically make out the local natives to be backwards savages. One guy even decapitates one of the Woman Hater's Club with a hatchet and unceremoniously tosses it into a lake. Like it was some kind of freaky blood ritual. So, if this is a ritual, shouldn't this be more ceremonial, not less? Later there's a whole ritual to it when they offer up two of the protagonists alive. So why a head at one point, and live sacrifice at another?

And here's my problem with this. They show that the creature can clearly manifest itself on shore, so why drag the local natives into this at all? Seems like it could feed itself just fine. It kills and eats the first guy without issue. So why drag any other plot elements into this movie? The last portion of the movie should have simply been the Woman Hater's Club fighting for survival from the creature itself. That would have been an okay movie. But instead, the creature is practically forgotten and the end of the movie is the Woman Hater's Club running around the woods like chicken with their fucking heads cut off.

So, this movie is shit. Sorry, no other way to put it. It was just plain shit. And basically, so a group of uppity white boys could make really obnoxious (often sexist and racist) dick and fart jokes, while trying to make it seem ironic because the Woman Hater's Club gets their comeuppance in the end. That's not real horror and yes that is a bullshit excuse to be racist. First, horror works best when the audience is empathetic towards the protagonist. It draws them in and makes them commit to the horror. This makes it that much more shocking when a character is killed. Second, none of the racism and sexism was required to make the plot work. So why was it there other than to make us hate the protagonists? Other than as a shitty exposition into some pretty racist views on Native American culture. It simply didn't belong. It isn't ironic, it's just fucking pathetic.

Even on grading on my highest curve, fuck this movie.