Nightmare Journal: Ribs

Homophobia, in my opinion, can be shown in many ways. It doesn’t matter if it’s the smallest trace of inequality, if it’s there, it’s a homophobic tendency at the least, and nothing pisses me off more than homophobia still happening in the year 2019. There are no excuses. Especially when it’s coming from my mom. Throughout the years, my brothers have had various girlfriends, all of which have been allowed to sleepover whenever they pleased, which happened to be more often than not. Now, I was never the one to date much, but when I had my first serious boyfriend, my mom could have cared less that he slept over. She barely knew his name, but he had all the same bedroom rights as my brothers' girlfriends have had, so when I got my first serious girlfriend, I thought the rules would remain the same. I was mistaken.

She quickly reversed the rule and because of it I ended up moving out and couch-hopping with my girlfriend at friends' places where we were welcomed. My mom and I’s relationship dissolved that year, but quickly mended when I broke up with her and moved home. I thought maybe it was just because my girlfriend was a stripper at the time of meeting her, and I could see why a mom wouldn’t want that for her daughter, so I looked past it even though I could tell part of it was just because she couldn’t handle actually seeing me with a girl. Years past and I would bring girls home that ended being unintentional one night stands, and my mom never seemed to bat an eye… probably because she never had to deal with it again.

Now I have a girlfriend I really, really adore, and for some reason my mom is back to her old ways. Given, they didn’t meet in the best way, and my mom had to go through another girlfriend of mine to get to Lexi, but even then, she didn’t like that girl staying over as she pleased either. Lexi was different though, she was pure and had good intentions (or so I thought). I really wanted my mom to like her, regardless of her sex. I hated that she would drive an hour out to see me just to drive an hour home later that night because my mom wouldn’t let her sleep over. It really bothered me and I planned to talk to my mom about it considering my little brother’s girlfriend was over every night.

“She’s not going to let me stay,” Lexi exclaimed with a sad expression on her freckled face as we headed down the stairs to, yet again, say goodbye to each other.

“I have an idea,” I replied slyly

We walked into the big open kitchen where my mom was prepping rather her 11 PM dinner or lunch for work the next day. She seemed to have had her few glasses of wine and cigarettes so I knew she was in good mood already. I wrapped Lexi in a hug and we swayed back and forth as my mom worked around us.

“I don’t want you to leeeeaaavveeee,” I said loudly so my mom could hear

“I don’t want to leave either” Lexi replied in a pouty voice once she got the memo.

We stayed in each other’s arms, looking at each other, but also making note of what my mom was doing. My mom had a smile on her face and I took that as a good sign. I could tell she was going to let her stay and I had to mask my excitement, so I turned away and put a dirty dish that was on the counter into the dishwasher. I turned back around and at first I saw my mom behind Lexi, about to open her mouth and say she could stay, but before the words could pass between her lips, we both noticed Lexi.

She was still, too still. At first I thought she was playing around because she was excited to stay but then I noticed small gasps coming from her mouth, and then, I looked down. My first thought was her shoulder popped out of place. Something was protruding in front of her, making a bulge in her baggy shirt.

“Lexi...” I whispered

The expression on her face was one I could never forget. Her naturally small blue eyes were wide, obviously from pain. She didn’t blink, she wasn’t looking at any one certain thing, and her breath was unsteady, if there at all. I panicked and came closer to her; it wasn’t until I was on the side of her, screaming her name, that I realized what was actually happening. It was her ribs. I don’t know how, I don’t know why, all I know is her entire rib cage was no longer in its original placement. It’s almost as if it were levitating, not around her organs anymore, but right in front of them. I picked up her shirt, half expecting to see blood and gore, but instead I just saw the entire outline of the rib cage, still intact in her skin.

I started to hyperventilate, realizing this meant her organs weren’t being held together anymore, and I had no idea what that meant for her body, all I knew is it was bad, really really bad. I couldn’t do anything but stare at her though, the sight of her was traumatizing. I could hear her trying to breathe in agonizing groans. She was dying. The girl I cared for was dying right in front of me and there was nothing I could do. I didn’t even understand how it was happening. Her already pale face began to grow paler, and I knew the end was coming. I couldn’t bear to watch it but I had to. All of a sudden a drop of blood made its way down the side of her mouth, I could see her body about to do something else.

Then, I woke up.