Movie Review: 'The Long Night' is a Bore

The Long Night is a remarkably dull and derivative horror movie. This story about a couple trapped in a southern plantation home by some form of powerful demonic cult paints itself into multiple corners that it has no hope of getting out of. The villains have too much power and our protagonists are a bickering couple who have zero chemistry. So that’s fun. Then the movie builds to an ending that features character motivations that shift so fast you may get whiplash trying to keep up with the silliness.

The Long Night stars Scout Taylor Compton as Grace and Nolan Gerard Funk as her obnoxious boyfriend. While bickering over how bad her introduction to his parents was, a scene that happened off screen, the two travel to the deep south. The plan has the couple going to a southern plantation where the owner has offered to help Grace find information on the parents she never knew; they abandoned her when she was very young.

Arriving at the plantation there is an eerie vibe. The man who was supposed to host them isn’t home and while he did leave a key, it’s odd that he’s not there to meet them. The situation gets weirder because there is a strange smell coming from somewhere in the house. Tension grows as Grace returns from a jog to find a snake in the house, one that causes her to drop a glass that she then steps on, injuring herself.

Time passes, nothing much happens, neither of the couple’s phones have service in this dead zone. That night, the couple sees a hooded figure with antlers and a skull mask standing on the lawn of the plantation. They make the decision to leave immediately but, of course, the car won’t start. A wild eyed Jeff Fahey appears at the house and claims to be a friend of the owner. He accuses the couple of killing his friend after he finds the man’s body. However, he is convinced that the couple is innocent when he sees multiple hooded figures with torches and masks on the lawn.

Here is where the movie tanks itself. When Fahey’s wacko character goes to confront the hooded figures his bones are broken and he is suffocated to death without anyone touching him. These mysterious hooded figures have some kind of mental powers that they can use to crush people. For the rest of the movie your mind cannot stop asking why the hooded figures don’t use their powers to destroy the couple if that’s what they intended

So, why don’t they use their powers? The ending gives you an idea but it only explains why the hooded figures did not kill one of the two protagonists. The other is left alive seemingly to act as a plot convenience as needed. That’s a plague on a horror movie, a fourth wall breaking choice that breaks whatever spell a movie is trying to cast. It’s hard to invest in a story when you are busy nitpicking shortcuts and bad choices made by the filmmakers.

Some horror movies can have this kind of flaw and still get by. Some horror movies fall back on great horror visuals to make up for logical flaws. Sadly, there is nothing inventive or frightening enough in The Long Night to distract from logical misfires and unlikable characters. The ‘twist’ ending is also badly botched with the motivations of the characters involved becoming so muddy and nonsensical that it is impossible to care about what is happening.

The Long Night is a 90 plus minute bore. The movie opens in limited theatrical release on February 4th, 2022.