MARY WANTS TO BURY

PART I

I remember Tommy Baker and his two goons, Gilbert and Danny Iverson, pounding the shit out of me for being a nerd. If you were there you would have seen this nine year old girl with glasses and braided pigtails by the monkey bars being pulled, kicked, and spit on by these little creeps. What I remember most about that day was Jeffery Lake. He was the boy that came to my rescue. He grabbed a brick nearby to bash against the side of Tommy’s head while the others ran away. He bent down to check on me, and the moment our eyes met I knew instantly that we were meant to be together. There were other times he noticed me when I wasn’t getting my ass kicked. Then there were times he didn’t, which honestly I could forgive. The only thing I couldn’t forgive was the pain my poor Jeff went through all those years… or the jealous forces determined to keep us apart.

It’s not like it was old news. The rumors around town about Jeff’s father abusing him. But since he was the sheriff not many people wanted to say anything. Besides the occasional black eye or the small bruises seen on the side of his arms, Jeff never complained. He seemed pretty normal around his friends. HA! Friends? I was the only real friend he had in this hell hole. For every aching pain, every cut, every scrap I was the one who brought him what he needed to heal. My mom was a pharmacist with access to bandages and pain medication. Sure I knew I could have gotten into so much trouble for stealing them for Jeff, but you know what? Love makes you take risks. Over the years we continued to hang out. Mostly talking about the things we were going to do once we got out of Spring Hill. Listening to him made me want him even more. It was time to make the pain stop forever.

Sheriff Lake was a creature of habit. Like clockwork every morning around eight he would go to the SKILLET, the local diner, to grab his bare claw and coffee. Last time he was there he and Mr. Aims were talking about some hooker outside of town that gave Lake a sass remark. All I could shout in my head as I watched from other side of the diner’s window

“For fuck sake, come out already!”

Finally, the bell rang above the doorway signaling his exit. The Sherriff walked towards his police car in the narrow alley across the street. He didn’t see me coming until after he dropped his keys. Once he picked them up he asked me “What are you doing here?”… As I mentioned before my mom was a pharmacist with different types of syringes and needles… He screamed “AH!” as I started to stab him repeatedly in the side with the shortest needle I could find. It’s the short ones that are the most affective. At some point he slapped me hard across the face forcing me to fall. He struggled to pull out the syringe, but I was able to find his coffee cup on the ground with the top still attached. So I took it off and through the batch in his mother fucking face! All I heard next was his pathetic girly moans. Nearby I see a shining reflection coming from shards of glass around the bottom of the trash cans. Once the moment was right I finished him off by coming behind to slit his throat with glass. It was like cutting through a Thanksgiving turkey. I may not have been the strongest little thing, but my rage in those few seconds of mutilation filled into every one of my muscles. His body started to sprawl out like a deflated balloon. His tongue rolled out… his eyes motionless… and I still clutched onto the glass deep into the palm of my hand. Both the sheriff’s blood and my own mixed together as it dripped down the edge of my fingertips. Mr. Aims poked his head out the door to call to the sheriff. I was long gone before he could see me. Was I scared? Yes, who wouldn’t be? I just killed a man. Not to mention I was only a kid. But I did it for Jeffery and I would do it again. One thing I knew for damn sure was that no one was going to miss an abusive boozier prick like Steven Lake.

My heart pounded in my ears as I rushed through the door of my house. Mom wasn’t home yet, but she would definitely notice the trail of blood I brought into the house. I needed to get rid of the glass and clean up the mess. I went to the backyard. Thankfully none of the other neighbors were home either. I scrounge for places to hide the weapon.

“This won’t work… that’s too easy… Think! Stupid! Think!”

The wind blew our garden shovel against the shed. Suddenly it hits me to bury it. I found a spot in a corner away from the house to dig my hole (it wouldn’t be my last). Was I scared? Yes. Did I care? Absolutely not. I buried it as deep as I could along with the memory. You’re probably thinking someone had to have seen me, right? No way is some little girl like Mary Burke going to get away with murder. She’s going to make a mistake and that would be the end of it. Well… you’d be wrong.

PART II

Eight years later… Sheriff Lake’s murder remained one of our town’s unsolved mysteries. The guy had lots of friends in the county as well as many enemies. Any one of which could have slit the bastard’s throat. Almost nothing really changed after that except me and Jeff. We were both in the last phase of our senior year at Spring Hill High School. When his dad died Jeff was a little withdrawn. But we were still there for each other. He even remarked from time to time that I was the little sister he never had. If he only knew the things I did for him. For us.

One other small thing…. around Spring Hill (somewhat noticeable in the past five years) were a range of disappearances. The most recent was Coach Devin Rhodes, Jeff’s football coach. He might not have been abusing him like his father did, but he pushed him too hard. On top of work and school… it wasn’t right to make him suffer… no one would make my Jeff suffer.

“If this isn’t the saddest piece of shit offense in the whole fucking county! I could be having sex with my wife right now instead of watching this crap! Lake! you are gonna give me a descent goddamn pass or I am gonna find someone who will. Do your fucking job! Let’s run it again! 38 blade switch!”

The night of the homecoming game was the last time anyone saw Coach Rhodes. The Hill Rams green and gold jerseys meshed against the Canter County Bull Dogs red and black jerseys. Didn’t really care about the score since my love never disappointed his hometown when it came to football games. From my freezing seat on the metal bleachers I could see Coach Rhodes constantly in Jeff’s face. I just couldn’t understand why Jeff took it the way he did. After the coaches disappearance the cops came rolling into the school twice to question the team. Jeff told me how he mentioned the coach was helping him with a scholarship to Washington State. You would look at it as a great opportunity, right? I saw it as a three thousand mile barrier between me and Jeff. Coach Rhodes needed to understand that. Not that I am admitting to anything.

Lisa Cummings, otherwise known as Lisa always cums, dated Jeff for two weeks then disappeared the following week. Everyone thought she left with one of her biker studs she was screwing at the same time she dated Jeffery. It was really just a coincidence that we ran into each other that same week, but again… I’m not admitting to anything.

There was also Tommy Baker (the bully), Mr. Dallas (the biology teacher barely passing Jeff), and Mike Fenton (the school prankster and Jeff’s alleged best friend). All these disappearance could be connected to Jeff, but I was very careful over the years. Nothing was ever traced back to the invisible loser like me. It was fate that protected us, and love that would bring us together.

Prom night is when I planned it out. He’ll ask me out, I’ll wear that oh so special dress, my hair would be out, my glasses would be off, and I would finally confess everything to my beloved.

I’ll admit apart from Jeff that the only other person decent to me was Vivian Castle. She was absurdly nice as well as beautiful. Honestly I would have been surprised if she wasn’t nominated prom queen. Rich, sweet, congenial Vivian who was not a stereotypical cheerleader as most of you have probably come across. I never trusted her. Way too sweet for a popular girl. One day after school she came up to me with a book she borrowed.

“Hey Mare.” She called me, “here’s your book back. Thank you so much.”

“No problem.”

“So how did you do on the chemistry test?” she asked me.

“Ok I guess. Forming chemical equations is like watching paint dry.”

“Can’t wait to unwind this weekend. Dominique is throwing a party while her parents are out of town.”

“Really?” I pretend to be interested while I rolled my eyes.

“You should come if you’re not busy. Might take your mind off school.”

“Actually I have plans already. Jeff wanted me to help him study for SAT’s.”

“Are you sure?”

I nod quickly. We continued to move through a sea of students down the stairs to the outside. Standing in front of the school statue was Jeffery in his letter jacket talking to Scott Hayes, Vivian’s boyfriend. Since she had a steady boyfriend I didn’t consider her a threat… at first.

“Hey guys. Hey babe.” Vivian greets the boys then kisses Scott.

“What’s up?” Scott replied once he was done sucking his woman’s tongue for two minutes.

I entered the conversation, “Hey Jeff.”

“Hey. Anyone fuck with you today?”

I blushed thinking of how much I love the way Jeff protected me.

“You still coming over this weekend to study?” I tried to keep the excitement low in the tone of my voice.

“Should be.”

“Just so you know the computer board at my house is acting up again. And my firewall isn’t turning on.”

“I’ll come take a look at it today after practice.”

I smiled. Before I could give my thanks Vivian’s voice inched its way in our conversation

“So what are we all going to do about prom? I can get Ariel and Pete to come so we can go as a group. Plus Ariel’s dad owns a limo company, so it could be pretty cheap.”

I started to get pissed off. She was going to ruin our special night.

“Why do we even have to go? Prom sucks.”

“Shut up Scott. You know you want to go, because I want to go. End of story.”

“Damn.” Scott replied, but she countered back by kissing the side of his neck. There was a moment as her lips were against his skin that Scotts eyes wandered to the next group of girls that passed by. Emily Johnson was one of them giving off a flirty smile. Keeping walking Emily, that’s all I am going to say. It was disgusting. I didn’t want to encourage Jeff to take part; however in my heart I knew he would have said no anyway. So I softly suggested in a friendly manner.

“You really should go Jeff. It’s your senior year you should have some fun.”

“Thank you Mare. We should go dress shopping.”

“Great.” I said with hesitation. God couldn’t this fucking goodie goodie stop spreading cheer for one day. I thought I was going to puke.

“We got to go. See you at practice. Don’t forget scouts from Illinois and Michigan are coming next game.” Scott said as he and Vivian walked away.

Once we got to my house I could see mom’s car in the driveway. Stepping through the door I called out to her and didn’t hear a response. Jeff went upstairs to my room to start work on my computer while I was in the kitchen getting snacks. As I rounded the corner mom entered from the backyard.

“Hey honey.”

“Hey mom. Why are you home so early?”

“It was slow at the store so I took the rest of the day off. Then I thought to myself it is such a beautiful day, so why not put in some new flower beds in the yard?”

I paused for a moment before I grab the sodas next to mom’s insulin bottles. She was diagnosed with Diabetes type1. She went on to tell me

“Funny thing is I can’t seem to find the shovel. Have you seen it?”

“No I haven’t. I got to get up upstairs Jeff is waiting.”

“Oh is Jeff here?”

“Yeah.”

“Good then you both can help me bring the rest of the gardening tools down from the attic.”

Mothers. I hate to say this, but one of the jealous forces coming between me and Jeff was my mom. Any chance we could be alone she always finds some way of butting in. Of course I love her, but I’ve come too far to be as close as I am with Jeff. She had no idea what I was capable of. Blood might be thicker, but it can be washed off your hands with enough force.

PART III

Another night… another opportunity. Prom was only three days away. Jeff still didn’t ask me out. I figured it was the stress of trying to get into college. The truth is he didn’t need to worry so much. On his own he was an average C + student. With my help as an assistant working in the administration’s office at school he was an average B+ student. I didn’t want to make it seem like Jeffery was cheating. He never noticed it before with him being so busy with football. Besides according to the Cosmo Magazine my mom keeps it’s always good to add a little mystery to the relationship. Well, mystery mixed with a little bit of murder, so to speak.

“My brain in numb.” he said in frustration.

“No you’re doing great. But now you know some dirty words in French you should avoid for your oral test.”

“I still say having a language class is bullshit. But I can’t rely on ball forever.”

“There’s always underwear modeling.” I attempt to lighten the mood.

He started to laugh. “Don’t make me laugh, this sucks.”

“It’s going to suck even more in college.”

“Don’t remind me.”

We both laugh again. Then I started to think out loud, “Mostly, because you won’t be here anymore.”

“Neither will you. But Mary this stuff comes naturally to you. You’re going places.”

“You think so?”

“Come on Mary you’re not stupid. You’re fine no matter what you do.”

He gets up from his chair to pull out his hacky sack from his backpack to play with for distraction. As he opened the flap of the bag to reach deep in the back I could see brochures hanging against the zipper. Anxiety started to sink in, but I didn’t act on it as Jeff went on by telling me

“You know my dad was asshole. But he was still my dad. Before mom died he was the one that threw the ball around with me. Then he started throwing bottles of Jack. He hated the world and part of me thinks that it was because of this town. I should be happy about leaving, right?”

I paused before answering, “You’re not happy?”

He began to fight back tears like most heroes do when they feel they have reached the end of their journey. I didn’t like seeing him in pain. It wasn’t fair. I get up from my chair this time to give him a loving hug. His warm arms wrapped around me causing my heart to flutter. I knew his sweet scent would be on me for weeks. I love him so much. At the same time as we were embraced I glanced over my shoulder to see the names printed on the brochures in his backpack. Illinois State, Michigan State, and Clemson University. Not that they weren’t excellent schools, but we had put so much time into trying to impress Washington State. I knew it was where I would end up. This was a bump on the road to our future, but I was just enjoying this moment. That is until his goddamn phone vibrated. We let go, he rubs his eyes, then answers.

“What happened? No it’s ok. I’m on my way I got my car.”

“Everything ok?”

‘”Don’t know. It’s Vivian she asked me to come pick her up.”

The rage builds up inside of me at the very sound of her name, “Vivian? Why is she calling you?”

“Scott ditched her at Dominique’s party.”

“That’s too bad.” Like I really care.

“I’ll catch up with you tomorrow?”

“I don’t mind waiting.”

“No it’s cool. Thanks little sis.”

The damsel in distress routine. It’s also MY routine. I could see now that Jeff was truly a romantic. He’d save the girl and they would become close. It would take all the forces of Hell to rip us apart. That Barbie bitch wasn’t going to do anything I hadn’t thought of. Still I needed to see for myself. I followed him that night on my old skates (He would have recognized my mom’s car). We came to a phone booth on Sydenstricker Road. Sure enough standing there was Princess Vivian. Her makeup ruined from tears. She entered Jeff’s car and I was too far back to hear any words.

We came to the driveway of Vivian’s home where I finally was able to pick up on what they were saying. Putting it together I found out Scott cheated on here with Laurie Banner. She found out at the party and walked out. For a single hour Jeff and Vivian talked until she stopped acting like such a baby. We had a chance to be real friends. Maybe she could have been the maid of honor at Jeff and mines wedding. Too bad she decided to make the enemies list. He continued to be the shoulder for her to cry on, which only pissed me off more. Like a true gentlemen he walked her to the door. She turned to show her gratitude with a hug, similar to the hug he and I shared earlier in my room. Similar, but a different ending. At some point when my toes were bleeding inside my skates watching them I noticed they were sharing a movie moment. This was the scene of the two characters engaged in an intense stare leading up to one of those even more intense kisses. It made me sick. Not angry not sad just literally sick. I turned to the nearest tree to barf my brains out. Suddenly my phone goes off. It was mom.

“Hello.”

“Where are you? I went to check on you to and you weren’t there.”

“Jeff had to leave. He had a family emergency.”

“But where are you?”

“I’m just out mom.”

“You need to come home right now.”

I whip my head back around to see Jeffery. The moment I dread was happening before my eyes. They were kissing tenderly as mom continued to nag me on the phone.

“Mary did you hear me!” she screamed.

“I’ll be home in a minute.”

My heart slightly torn that night. I finally saw him drive away and the smug smile across Vivian’s face as she went into the house.

PART IV

I made it home through the garage. She was waiting for me in the kitchen with the same expression most mothers have when they are not sure how a situation needed to be handled. I really wasn’t in the mood to listen. In fact in my mind I told myself I would block out the bogus lecture then go to bed.

“Well?” she started the conversation

“I’m sorry I was out late.”

“Where have you been? You know you’re supposed to call me when it’s this late. AND YOU KNOW you suppose to have your but in this house before midnight.”

“I said I was sorry, God. I won’t do it again.”

“Are you hurt?”

“No.”

“Are you lying?”

“No, mom! I just lost track of time.”

“Are you depressed and you just don’t want to tell me?”

“Why are you giving me the third degree?”

“I’m worried about you. My barely legal daughter is running around on the streets late at night without calling home or telling me ahead of time she was going out!”

“I was with Jeff.”

“I thought you said he had an emergency.”

“He did I went with him. Would you relax? Look at me I’m fine!”

We stopped yelling at one another to take breaths. Last thing I wanted to do was make her this upset. I come around the kitchen island to give her a hug.

“I’m sorry. You’re right. I won’t do it again.”

She hugs me back tightly. I thought it would end right there. Then I ask her

“Can I go upstairs now?”

“Not yet…”

Eve of prom was upon us. Everything was a mess. I didn’t even have a dress yet. On top of that I was moving like a zombie. Last night flashed in my mind. Not just Jeff and Vivian. I could hear the rest of moms talk in the kitchen. I could see the moment when she reach into one of the drawers to pull out an old shard of glass. She mentioned how she found it in the backyard. Stains of Sheriff Lake’s blood from years ago remained along the edges. She questioned me about why the glass was buried in the backyard. Each inquiry brought up stress, but I tried to be cool about the situation. I didn’t really deny I knew how the glass got there. Instead I stayed as quiet as possible to think of an appropriate response. Then she told me how she came to my room to confront me about it. She bumped into the side table next to my bed where she discovered the stash of medications I stole from the pharmacy: Marti Thomas Dyhexdrine, Courtney Richards Laprenzine, and the first aid kit I stuffed with needles. She demanded answers.

“Why do you have patient’s prescriptions? Whose blood is this if it’s not yours? Mary answer me!”

“Mom please don’t.”

“What is going on, Mary!”

The copper pot was right there on the stove. It was all a reflex, an impulse, an itch. I just wanted the fucking questions to stop! I am snapped back into reality by a familiar voice.

“Mary!” Jeff yelled behind me.

“Oh hi.”

“You alright?”

I didn’t really want to talk. He being near me had always been a blessing; however seeing him with her the other night gnawed away at my insides.

“What’s wrong?”

“Did I say anything was wrong?”

“I’m just checking. You seem distracted.”

“Why do you care?”

“You know I do.”

He meant it as a friend, but I hoped he would mean it affectional. I explained the fight I had with mom without including some of the details. Especially what happened afterwards? Soon I slid into the conversation

“How’s Vivian?”

He gives a stupid grin, “Actually something happened last night.”

“Yeah?”

“Something kind of weird.”

“Weird good? Or weird bad?”

“So I picked her up. She told me what happened with Scott. I took her home… then we sort of…”

“Let me guess you fucked?”

“It wasn’t like that.”

“I’ll bet. I always knew she was a slut.”

Jeff grabbed my arm to stop me from moving as we argued, “Ok you need to stop and tell me what’s going on. It can’t just be about your mom.”

“Why don’t you tell me?”

“What the hell are you talking about, Mary?”

“I don’t appreciate being ditched so you can go screw your teammate’s girlfriend. Especially since I’m the one spending most of my own time helping you get into college. Which by the way you didn’t even have the curtesy to tell me you were even considering other schools besides Washington State! Because let’s face it even that’s a stress wither Coach Rhodes was going to use his connections or not. And I don’t appreciate mom accusing me of crap from…”

Suddenly Vivian steps in

“Hey guys.”

Things were quiet for a moment as she continued to look at both of us curiously

“Everything ok?”

I remained silent as Jeff responded, “I guess so.”

Then they looked at one another. He smiles for her as I continued to frown. She goes on to tell him thanks for coming to her rescue the other night. He told her it was not a big deal. Without a trash can nearby all I could do was vomit in my mouth.

“I got some great news,” she states in a peppy sort of tone, “I was able to get Ariel on board with the limo. Are we still going dress shopping Mare?”

“I got to get to practice. I’ll catch up with you two later.”

As he left Jeff tapped the side of my shoulder. It was hard for me to stay mad at him. And I hated fighting with him. This was not how I had planned this at all. Maybe I should have giving up on the entire thing and except the fact that I would never be loved by the one I loved. That being said I still depressingly asked Vivian

“What time?”

“After school around two? Nancy’s Boutique is having a sale.”

“I’ll be there.”

“Great. Ok I’ll see you.”

Nancy’s was filled to the brim with gaudy prom dresses. The kind with too much glitter, bedazzle, tool, and cleavage. It was a bad blast from the 1970’s. But the sooner we looked at these horrible things the sooner I could get the hell out of there. Vivian jabbered on as we went through each isle of the store. She tugged at the bottom of each dress to pull the color of each one next to her skin. Badgering me with stupid questions about the various shades of blue. At that time the only color I had on my mind was red as in blood red.

Anyway… somewhere between the loathing and jabbering Princess Vivian found her perfect dress. A blush shade gown with a slit along both sides of the dress. Spaghetti straps that wound down the back and decorated with even pinker rhinestones. Oh and the shoes matched (ick!). She dragged me to the mirror with her.

“What do you think? Is this the one?”

I came beside her to give my opinion. I said, “If it’s what you like then sure. Or if it’s what Scott likes.”

“Don’t mention that shit bag. Scott and I broke up last night.”

“Really? Sorry I didn’t know.” Oh I knew alright.

“Jeff came to pick me up.”

“Yeah I remember you said that earlier.”

“You know Jeff is such a sweet guy.”

“I know.”

“You two are really close.”

“In a lot of ways we are. He had a tough life growing up. He helped me even with all of his stuff going on. He’s my hero.” I explained with a heavenly daze in my eyes as well as my voice.

“Definitely know what you mean. Think his favorite color is pink?”

“Um maybe.”

She was so wrong. His favorite color was orange. I moved away from the mirror where I noticed a puffy sleeved emerald dress that should have been burned for being so ugly. However, behind the wrack of that wretched thing, I noticed a flash of blood orange. In a trance state I walked to it as Vivian played with her hair in the mirror. The closer I got to it I decided it was not as terrible as the others we’d seen. It was a cotillion style dress made of silk material and matching gold sparkle high heels beneath it. Its top was in a sweetheart shape with no straps. A beaded swirl patterns were a part of the middle.

“Mare?” she came to look for me, “Looks like somebody’s in love.”

“What?”

“The dress. It’s beautiful Mare. You should see yourself in it.”

I smile a little.

“Come on let’s see.”

Again she whisk me to the mirrors. She draped the dress by the hanger in front of me and insisted I remove my glasses to get a better idea. Through the blur I could see myself. It gave me hope once more about prom night. In eighty years when we are both grey perhaps Jeffery and I would tell or grandchildren about the dress that officially brought us together. Just wait and see.

FINALE

Once Vivian dropped me off at home I rushed to get things done for prom night. When I walked through the door, with my new dress slugged over my shoulder, the first thing I did was check the flashing messages on the house phone. At least six were left for my mother in regards to some kind of pharmacy review. Luckily for mom I knew where she kept the paperwork for such a situation, so as a favor I took it in. Andy, mom’s coworker, started to ask questions. So I weaved a convincing lie about her visiting my grandmother in Canter County. Then I decided to go down my check list for the night. So far I had the dress. It was time to move onto preparing the dinner. With help from a random google search I came across a simple but delicious little recipe for pot roast. I would cook it later in the night then wrap it up in the fridge. This reminded me to grab the insulin bottles. Next step was setting the scene. I knew where my mom kept grandma’s wedding china with the gold lines and silverware. Add some candles, romantic music, and our prom presents. At the same time I got myself a corsage made of white lily orchids. It would complement the dress very well. Only one more things to check on the list…

I grab the car keys then head outside. Mr. Jake was trimming the top of his bushes. He waved at me…

“Hey Mary.”

“Hi Mr. Jake.”

“Haven’t seen your mom all day. She ok?”

“Actually I’m going to go see her right now. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Oh okay dear.”

Noisy old bastard. I was in a rush. I was going to see mom, but I also stopped by Jeff’s home. I knew he was at practice and his aunt was in town. Although no one ever paid attention to me, it was so easy to walk into Mrs. Lake’s home. Small town people always leave keys in places like under the welcome mat or in flower pot. I go to Jeff’s room. He lived like a pig, but I figured it was something we could work on later. I put on a pair of gloves before searching the room to go through his mail. I got rid of the junk mail from the other schools he thought he would be attending, and replaced it with a guaranteed acceptance letter from Washington State. I packed a small bag with his essentials, because I knew we would need to get out of town as soon as prom was over. I knew I needed to get to the field next. Sneaking under the bleachers I had a perfect view of Jeffery doing stretches. His body looked so amazing the harder he worked out… Just one more day baby. I can’t wait to be in your arms. As he worked I grabbed his phone from his gym bag on the bleachers. I left two text messages. One for Aerial. The other for the princess. Finally, it was time to see mother.

Driving downtown I started to imagine how overwhelmed she might be. After all waking up from a slight concussion in a place you hardly recognize is scary for anyone. Creeks Pond Park was the woods that time forgot. At least by everyone in Spring Hill… except for me. In fact only ten feet away down a steep hill stood the playground where Jeffery and I first met. The weather was in the high nineties, which was not ideal for diabetics with no access to water and a head wound. As I walked up the hill with my purse in one hand, and the missing shovel my mother searched for in the other, I could see her just starting to twitch her eyes. I tied her to one of the trees deep in the woods and put a large bandage patch on the side of her head, Most of the blood was dry but the remainder seeped through. She would soon notice several plots of dirt surrounding her from different angles. Her mouth was taped over but I could still hear her moan. When I reached her I dropped the purse and the shovel to lift the bandage. She regained consciousness, but I wasn’t ready to remove the tape.

“It looks better today.” She attempted to focus her eyes on me, “Look I just want to say I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you I swear. But the fact is I’m in love with Jeff. Losing him is not something I am prepared to do. Especially when you’ve consider all I have done.”

She started to talk through the tape, “Shhhh. I killed Sheriff Lake, because I knew it was for the best. He deserves more and I know he wants to share a life with me.”

She cried listening to me. I decided to remove the tape. As a sign of mercy I reach into the bag to pull out some water. Her lips were quivering as I tilted the bottle.

“Here you go.” I said.

“Mary please sweetheart. This is crazy.”

“I know it is. Problem is I can’t stop. Every moment of my life has been about bringing us together. The whole world can hate me or be afraid of me. But as long as I have Jeff none of that matters. So I say fuck it.”

“Oh my god.”

“But I don’t want to leave you completely out of my moment. I found the perfect dress for prom. Tomorrow night I am going to bring it here. Do you remember where the camera is?”

She could finally see some of the plots around her.

“Mary, whose buried here?”

I look to the right to point out Lisa Cummings. The far back hole on the left was the coach. Next to him was Mike. The look in her eyes told me she wasn’t merely scared about being in my personal graveyard. She was finding out what a monster love had made me.

“Mary this isn’t you. Just untie me and we can get some help.”

“Ah you know what mom I can’t right now. You see the princess is expecting me.”

“Princess?”

“You must be feeling really weak without your medication. But don’t worry I got it right here. I’m just going to give you a pinch more than what you’re used to. I promise it’s not gonna kill you. I love you.” I explained this to her as tap the syringe removing it from the insulin bottle. She begged me not to inject the needle into her. However I needed to concentrate on the backup plan. It consisted of picking a good spot. One final hole incase things don’t go the way they should. He would love me in life or death. Either way it… it didn’t matter.

Ten o’clock in the evening. Way past closing for Nancy’s Boutique. Never the less it’s where I tracked Vivian. She was getting some last minute alterations on her dress. I could hear her phone vibrate in her purse since I was sitting low in mom’s car nearby. It was a reminder for all the text messages she missed. From her giddy reaction of scrolling down the screen I could tell she came across the one from Jeffery’s phone. It simply asked if she wanted to get something to eat, and to meet Jeff not too far from where she already was. I wore a black hooded sweat jacket that blended with the darkness of the street. Only the lamps would have given me away the closer I came behind her. I didn’t want to rush, but impulse got the better of me. And I admit I panicked for a moment at the sound of her phone ringing once again. When she answered I could hear her say, “Aerial? Hey I’m just on my way to see…” I covered her mouth with a cloth soaked in liquid ether I ordered for rainy day. You can imagine the rest of it. There was a struggle, I stabbed the side of her neck with a needle, and she screamed… blah blah blah. But I didn’t want to kill this little bitch out right. I wanted her and the rest of the world to see that tomorrow night belonged to me and Jeffery. After all, why should she go to heaven without answering for her crimes against true love? I dragged her boney ass back to Creek Pond next to my mother, who strongly felt the effects of medication overdose. Neither of them were awake when I left.

Spring Hill High School was buzzing for two reasons. The first reason was that it was finally prom night. As I recall the theme of the night was based on the future. I was told there were going to be drinks named after careers like the Billionaire Bourbon or the President Margarita. Thank God Jeff was not going to be there and see those losers who were going to be stuck here till old age. The second reason was people were wondering where Vivian was. Her snooty friends were making more of a big deal of it than I was. I planned every moment well in spite of a few setbacks. Too late to turn back now.

At home, the food was prepared on the dining room table. The lights were dim enough for the candles to stand out. I dressed myself and applied the bubble gum pink shade lip-gloss. I wanted mom to see me, because I could hardly believe the reflection of the young woman standing in the mirror was me. And I know she would want to be here for my big moment, especially after our talk. So I snapped a few pictures while the musical sounds of Backstreet Boys old songs played in the background. If you’re guessing, the song was ‘All I have to give’. I think it fitted into my feelings for Jeff. It was time to bring my love home.

I suspected before I would call him Jeff would probably be making calls to Vivian. He’d probably be asking her if she was alright. What happened to the limo? It’s a good thing my other text message from Jeff’s phone explained he was going to meet everyone there later. Therefore there wasn’t a reason to come pick him up.

“Hello?” He answers the phone after seeing my number flash. I breathed heavily and hysterically. “Mary what’s wrong?”

“Jeff I’m scared. Could you please come get me?”

“Mary what is it!”

“It was three guys. They were trying to rape me. Please I need your help, I’m at my house now.”

“I’m on my way just stay right there!”

I know you are Jeff. You always come to my rescue. Mine and almost every other little helpless girl in this town. It would finally be happening baby. He burst in through the front door calling out to me as well as my mom. He sees the dinner and hears the music. He’s expression is total confusion. He searched the downstairs then moved up into the bedrooms. I snuck downstairs into the dining room to surprise him with my makeover. Not as a dorky little bookworm, but a pretty classic girl.

“Mary!”

“I’m down here.”

He barreled down the steps into the room. I smiled, my hair was out, my makeup was perfect, no glasses, and my hands folded behind my back.

“Hi Jeff.” I said calmly still smiling. He looked at me strangely.

“Mary? What the hell is going on?’

“I wanted to surprise you. So… surprise.”

He continued to look at me in a freeze.

“I thought you were hurt.”

“I know I lied. I’ve lied about so many things. But that’s why I think we should just come clean about everything tonight. Our last night together in Spring Hill. That way will be able to really start over when we leave. I made us dinner. I knew you wouldn’t want any of the crap catering at the dance.”

“Mary what the fuck?”

“What? Why are you angry? I said I was sorry for lying. I just wanted to get you over here and spend some time alone.”

“Where is your mom?”

“Ok. This is not the way I pictured this in my head. Can you sit down so we can start all over?”

“This isn’t funny!”

“And I am not trying to be funny. I’m trying to be romantic.”

“Enough games! Where is your mom?”

I didn’t answer him. All I could do was stare at him like an animal in heat. He called out for mom continuously, but she wouldn’t be able to hear it where she was. In fact with all the medication she wouldn’t be able to hear much of anything besides the possible waking moans of the princess right next to her. Once Jeff finally gave up on calling for her he attempted to leave through the front door. I deadbolt it and broke the lock when he was upstairs looking for me. It wasn’t to scare him it was to get him to listen and let me explain. He attempted to try the back door through the kitchen. He even threaten to bust things open if I didn’t let him out or give him answers. Again I only wanted him to listen not to freak out. It was our night. As he is in the kitchen he started to reach for his phone. Before he could get a dial tone I came from behind with the shovel I was hiding behind me. I reluctantly knocked him out. I admit I was a little carried away by coming down on him three or four times with the spade end of my weapon.

As I mentioned the table was already set. Now it was time to rewind on the events of the evening. I was upset with Jeff for not complimenting my dress, but I could forgive that as long as we were together. I propped him in the chair next to mine at the table. It was everything you might have pictured. He was bound tight to the chair bleeding from his forehead. His mouth covered with duck-tape. I was the next thing his eyes focused on as they slowly opened.

“Easy… easy… Don’t worry baby everything is gonna be fine. I’ve given you some pain medications to help with the throbbing you’re probably experiencing. Can’t wait for you to try my cooking. I worked really hard at this.” All he could manage to do was stare back at me. “I just want you to know I would never ever hurt you. This was an accident my love…” He seemed to be listening intently the more I babbled on, “… Vivian doesn’t love you. Neither did that slut, Lisa… or your coach… or your father…” Now he seemed a little frightened,”… I had to kill him baby. Your dad was never going to stop. It’s amazing how the two of you were even related. You’re a hero he wasn’t. And in a way so am I, because I saved you. Plus you have to think about everything I have done for our future. We’re going to go to Washington State. We’re gonna get married, move out of goddamn Spring Hill, start a family, and whatever.” I started to laugh when truly I wanted to cry. Nothing has worked out the way I imagined. I could talk to him all night, but Jeff would forever see me now as the monster I really was. I ate the food while he tried to speak through the tape.

“Let me help you there.” I said reaching over to rip the tape off in one quick motion. Then I went back to eating with my eyes down the entire time on my plate. He takes in small breaths of air as he began to speak.

“You killed my dad?” I nod yes to his question, “Mike and Coach Rhodes?” I answered with another nod, “But not Vivian?”

I frustratingly sighed and said, “You know this is supposed to be about us and all you want to talk about is her. Princess Vivian, fucking cunt.”

“You’re acting crazy right now!”

“Like the other night when you took her home from the party and she had her paws all over you like some puppy? That was crazy! She didn’t take long to steal one guy away when her boyfriend wasn’t giving her enough attention.”

“Where is she?”

“I love you Jeffery.”

“GOD DAMN IT MARY WHERE IS SHE!”

I slam my hands down on the table. “I SAID! I LOVE YOU! JUST ADMIT THAT YOU LOVE ME IN THE SAME WAY AND THIS WOULD ALL BE OVER!”

We stopped screaming. There was silence enough for him to breathe as I again continued to eat my wasted pot roast.

“I do love you.” He told me. But I didn’t believe it enough. It almost seemed like he was patronizing me by telling me what I’ve wanted to hear since we were kids. “I do love you Mary. That’s why you’re scaring me right now. You’re family to me and that’s why I don’t want to see you get hurt anymore.”

“Everything I have done has been for you.”

“I know. But it doesn’t matter how much you think you are doing for me. Because we are never going to be together the way you want. Just let me go and we can fix this.”

“I always fix it Jeff. And I am always prepared with a plan B.” I put the tape back over his mouth then move on to conclusion of this magical night. Most of the town was already at the prom making a fuss over its Spring Hill Seniors. I took care of Mr. Jake. I didn’t care anymore that someone would find his body on the patio. I drag Jeffery to the car along with the shovel. It took the both of us to anchor him in the trunk. He tried to scream for help, but the sound of car radio muffled most of his noised. He thrashed constantly in the hopes that he could punch or bang side to side hard enough to get through the top. Now I really was crying. Not for myself or for regret of what I had done over the years, but for him. My hero. My love.

Creek Pond Park Signs was just ahead. I reach to the side of my driver’s door to pull out random pieces of paper and a lighter. I also knew where mom kept the small vile of nail polish remover in the glove box. Once I was able to drag Jeff to a safe distance from the car I sprinkled the nail polish remover in the front seat. Then I ripped the socket connected to ignition. I lit it on fire first then burned the paper to toss into the mix. Goodbye hideous Toyota Camry with my kids an A+ student bumper sticker.

By this time as I continued to lug Jeff, Vivian was fully awake. Freaking out attempting to tug hard against her binding for freedom. From the distance I could tell mom was still alive only out of it. Her head swayed the more Vivian struggled. It took twenty heaves and hoes, but I managed to get them all together. They could see the large hole I dug into the earth. It was larger than most of my holes; however it was meant for more than one person. I took a minute to twirl for Vivian to show off my ruined dress.

“See I took your advice Vivian. You were right it was perfect.”

“WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!”

“You can call me all the names you want. In fact you can scream as LOUD AS YOU WANT! No one’s gonna hear you. But don’t worry princess. You’re fairytale ending will be spent in Hell. While Jeff and I…” I pulled out a gun from beneath my dress that was attached my thigh, “… will live eternally in heaven forever.”

I underestimated the progress Vivian made breaking through her ties. Jeff’s thrashing from earlier in the back seat also gave him the leverage he needed to get somewhat free.

“We’re right where we belong Jeff.”

As I cocked the back of the gun ready to fire between Jeff’s eyes I could feel Vivian pounce on me from behind. Although, it wasn’t enough to get the weapon out of my hand. Eventually I smacked her with it, but she was able to wrestle with me some more. I smacked her with the nose of the gun repeatedly until I was sure that bitch’s face was broken. I took aim but now suddenly I could feel Jeff jerk me away with his arms around me. I fought him and screamed to break free of his grasp. My arms were flaying about so much I dropped the gun in the endless piles of leaves that had fallen from the hundreds of trees around us. I flipped my head back hard to make contact with his nose. Once he released I kicked him between his legs. He smacked me the same way his father did years ago. Jeff was able to get the gun before me. He aims for me this time but doesn’t pull the trigger. We look deep into one another’s eyes. We were meant to be no matter

“Hey Mary!” I turned my head to the sound of Vivian’s voice. What I see last was the worn down metal of my own shovel.

The police responded to the emergency signal my mother’s car had sent out in regards to the fire. It was a safety measure put in by the fascinating builders of Toyota. They found the hero, the princess, my mother still holding on in reasonable health. And me… poor little Mary Burke… They found me in the hole I had made. Eyes opened, sprawled out, and a smile across my face. My shovel hanged to the side watching over my dead body.

Jeff went home with his new girl Vivian latched beneath his arm. He goes to his room for a moment to get them both a large blanket to wrap themselves in. He sees what I left him on his desk. Two letters instead of one: The acceptance to Washington State; and a personal letter from me. I don’t know for sure if he ever read my letter. But many more years passed after that night. Jeff did go on to Washington State. He got a degree in Engineering as well as Athletic Medicine. He used that to become the new trainer at Spring Hill High School. But everyone once in a while he would come to see my plot in the park. Not aware I was always there as the true spirit of his vengeance holding with my shovel in hand…. waiting for him in death as I did in life. I love you Jeff….