Interviewing The Dead with Phoebe

Nice to meet you, friends. My name is Phoebe Killingsworth, and I am more than just a foreigner from The Otherworld, now living life in Portland, Oregon, The Mortal Realm, USA.

I am an investigative journalist for formerly alive homosapeans. Err, the undead. That’s right, along with the help of my skeleton dog Giuseppe/best friend and sidekick, I aim to make equal rights between the living and the dead.

Undead and Unhappy? We can help!

Are you thinking about becoming a social worker for the deceased?

Check out our tips for beginners!

Tip #1

Protection. The undead can be wonderful folk, and often times they are. However, some immortal souls can be downright malevolent!! No matter how polite and appropriate you are. How rude, right?

ALWAYS—ALWAYS bring your salt for protection, (And come on friends, I’m not talking just a salt shaker here). I want you to bring enough salt to Bake a very large cake.

Hang on a sec—Giuseppe is telling me mortals don’t bake cakes using mass amounts of salt? 🤔 🧐

Someone weigh in on this please. I have a dinner party with my ghost uncle and his drunken wood nymph of a girlfriend this evening. I do NOT want to look silly presenting a cake that isn’t mortal like.

Back to what I was saying. If you’re off to commune with the dead in any way, bring salt. And bring enough for protection circles.

Lavender in a locket, that has been charged by the full moon works as well. Keep it on and don’t take that sucker off.

Helpful hint; lavender is cheap and can be found just about anywhere they sell herbs. And empty see through lockets you can find at Michaels or a craft store for pretty cheap.

Tip #2

Bring a spirit box, ouija board, or something to scry with. If you’re not in between realms like I am, it might be hard or impossible for you to see the Spector in question.

Give them a way to communicate with you! I can’t tell you how frustrating it can be when “ghost hunters” come into a place with next to no equipment and start asking all these questions—like—-how am I supposed to respond buddy?

Give the dead a chance to get their message across.

Listen.

I can’t stress this one enough. Just listen. I’ve watched too much mortal television where the guy investigating in the black hoodie will NOT stop flapping his gob!

It’s not your turn to speak. Let the dead be heard. Close your eyes and listen.

Perhaps the Spector is weak, or newly dead and hasn’t learned to reach through the veil yet. If you don’t keep quiet, you may miss out on that tiny cabinet door shutting, perhaps letting you know they are there.

Tip #3

Have fun with it!!!

Interviewing the dead is a chance to interview our history.

Be polite, be considerate, and remember; you’re in their home!

Ask the good questions. Do your research first and skip the boring questions like what there name is. No one wants to be bored. Especially when your dead.

Ask if there’s anything you can do to help. Ghosts were people too. Maybe there’s someone in our Afterlife Social work program we can connect them with.

Enjoy your work, and soon you’ll have more dead friends than you know what to do with!

Remember kids; were here to investigate and interview; not to hunt!

— P.K