I Never Saw a Beach Sunrise

I never saw the Sun rise looking out onto the horizon, while sitting in the warm sands of a beach. I was always told they were beautiful, just like me. Momma always told me that. Although sweet, momma was the triggered type. Then again, she was always independent, even before I was born; so I’ve been told. I guess it never really occurred to me how much effort she put into taking care of me. She cared a lot about my well-being. She was extra attentive towards that. She always told me “my health was most important”, even more important than hers. I guess it was due to my condition.

I can’t really talk about my condition right now; momma doesn’t like me talking about it with other people. She says I shouldn’t have to explain myself to anyone and she’s absolutely right. Besides, it’s not like I have anyone else to talk to. I was never allowed outside, thanks to, you guessed it, my condition. It’s part of the reason I’ve never seen a sunset. I don’t think I’ve seen a sunrise either. Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever really seen much of the outside world, besides exploring the nearby woods sometimes, when momma allowed it. I’m always locked up in this house.

Momma never liked society or the people it consisted of. She always said, “everything and everyone you need is in this home. Those out there are too ignorant to understand anything more than themselves”; whatever that’s means. I never went to public school. Momma thought it was almost worse than society itself. She would always tell me about how she was picked on and casted out by the “cruel ones”. I never understood why the people momma described were so cruel. My momma is not only hard-working, but she’s the most loving and sincere person I know. Come to think of it, she might be the only person I know.

I don't meet many people. There was that special time momma took me out to a movie. It was amazing and everyone seemed really nice, especially the cashier Alejandro. I’ll never forget him. I guess he’s the only person I ever really met. He’s the only one I can think of or remember. Most likely due to the picturesque smile he sported that night. He seemed to smile at me every time I walked by the concessions. It honestly made my heart flutter. I wonder where he is now. I miss Alejandro and the other people that might be just as amazing as he is. Being in this home can feel mundane at times. I wish momma would let me go out more. Hopefully as I become a strong and independent woman like momma my condition will get better and I’ll be able to meet the world with a loving embrace. Hopefully.

As I got older, so did momma. She looked and moved with less vigor as she usually did. Her authority became less significant. After years of taking care of me, it was time for me to take care of her. Especially now that I was old enough to understand my condition and be able to take care of myself properly. Momma was scared that I would forget how important my well-being was; that the outside world would distract me too much. That I would forget all about what was most important. It wasn’t until my momma was dead and gone that I truly understood what she meant.

My heart and pockets were too broken to set up a funeral service. Momma was always keen on keeping matters swift and clean, so I did. I got her cremated and kept her remains above the fireplace. It was fitting for a mother with such a furry bright spirit and character. Seeing as mother was now gone, I had to fend for myself. No one else was going to help me. That first night was quiet and lonely. The house seemed to creak loudly in a mournful manner. So did my heart. I never thought having such freedom would feel so incarcerating. I had to get out of that house. I waited for the right time to leave, just like momma always said, “the night keeps you safe from the crowded streets of cruel ones during the day.”

I waited until about 9:05 pm; I knew by now that was around the time the sun would set in Portland. I was determined to go out and hopefully end up at a beach to finally see a beach sunrise. I’d stay out all night if I had to. I walked outside to see the sun barely peaking over a large mountain of trees, the sky a beautiful array of colors. Here I was focused on the sunrise when a sunset was just as beautiful, or at least momma used to tell me that. I decided to get a better look. I took my mother’s car and drove to where we used to hunt for food. Where we usually went was not only destitute from the rest of society but had a beautiful peak that stood high above the rest of the ground, high enough to see this sun set. Although I was doing what my mother would have disapproved of, it was in a spot that she would always call her “safe place”. I think she would’ve approved this one time. I drove to the peak and got out just in time to see the sun set completely under the horizon. The sky radiated with gradients of orange, purple, and red. This was by far the most beautiful thing I had ever seen or could even fathom. Why did momma always keep me from such beauty?

I figured the night was still young, so I drove to the only place I knew; the movie theatre. I arrived minutes later. I walked inside the theatre to see people scattered throughout the lobby. I walked up to the ticket booth and paid for a movie. There was no specific movie that intrigued me, seeing as they were all new or unfamiliar to me. Afterwards, I walked up to the concessions, just as mother and I did that one night forever ago. As I ordered my popcorn, a familiar face rounded the corner. It was Alejandro, older but still sporting that same gorgeous smile. I knew by the way we locked eyes that he knew exactly who I was, he remembered me.

Instead of watching the movie, me and Alejandro talked and got to know each other better. He was even more intriguing than I previously thought. The rest of the night went great. We spent hours talking, until it was time for the theatre to close down. I was a bit sad that I had to go, just as he did, but I decided to kill two birds with one stone in that split second. “How about we catch the sunrise tomorrow morning, on the beach?”, I proposed. Alejandro excitedly took up my proposal with a flash of his bright white smile and a kiss on my cheek; leaving an undeniably warm imprint.

As I laid in bed that night, I couldn’t sleep. The excitement of something new kept overtaking my thoughts. Just as momma predicted, I did get distracted. As the morning dawned, I met up with Alejandro. Everything seemed to be perfect. We sat on the beach, cuddled up next to each other, awaiting the sun’s rays. All those years of keeping me safe, tending to my every need, making sure I felt normal in such an unnatural state, didn’t matter. In that split second, I threw out everything I learned from my dearest mother. My skin cracked and split as the rays from the sun hit my delicate and exposed body. In that instant, all I could hear was my mother’s words echoe out, “Vampires don’t belong in the sun.” I will never forget the fear in Alejandro’s eyes as I burst into flames before him. As I laid there in agony, burning alive, dying, the only thought that came to mind was, at least I finally saw a beach sunrise.