I Live in a Monster

The mirror showed a reflection that wasn't my own. I know the other “me” well enough now to control him, but it wasn’t always like that. I couldn’t bare to think about all the people in my life that I cared so much about. Their own death caused by another man, but with my own hands. I could still feel the blood dripping down my face, the blood that didn’t belong to me. I could taste it, my other self licking it with satisfaction. I look in the mirror to see the disgusting monster living in my body. To see the horrid beast waiting to come out and devour a helpless victim. Every day I am cursed, my stomach in knots, my aching muscles straining to keep this demon inside of me.

“Now don’t be thinking crap about me again,” he spoke. We had conversations often, rarely did I ever enjoy hearing his voice in my head. It was a slightly deep voice that came off as dangerous, but could soothe you with its trickery. “I hear your thoughts ya know.”

“And when you’re in control I hear yours,” I responded out loud. I stare hard at the mirror, where I can see this other person inside me. The only difference between us was his large red eyes. “So don’t think I give a damn about what you care.”

“That girl with you tonight, she’s smokin’ isn’t she?” He taunted me as a menacing grin grew on his face. How dare he even think to be taunting me about my girlfriend!

“She’s the first one in years who will actually even look at me because of you. You don’t get to say a word about her. She’s mine and mine alone. You will not touch her, you will not kill her, you will not play with her. Understand me?” I say almost too loudly. With a sting of realization, I quickly turn around to scan the bathroom and make sure I was still the only one inside of it. No one else can see my reflection like I can, they only see this man when he takes over my body. But that doesn’t change the fact that they can hear when I myself speak out loud, and that they’d probably glance at me thinking that I was a freaking lunatic. Which they wouldn’t be wrong..

“Geez, ok ok!” He put his hands in the air as if in defeat. “No promises about the future, but I’ll listen to you for now.”

I merely snarl at him, this ridiculous other side of me. Every time I pass a mirror, I see him. He stares at me, hungrily waiting for the day that I stumble so he can take over the body. It’s been a few months since the last time he was in control. He threatened my girlfriend then continued to go back to my apartment and make a mess out of it. He only did this so I would have to clean it up. I told my girlfriend afterwards about him, we’ve spent the last few months trying to figure out what to do. She’s been so kind and gentle with me. As if she knew what it was like to have such demons inside her as well. But now that things were finally going the way I wanted them too, the other person inside of me has starting to be giving threats about her. I had to run to the bathroom during the middle of our date night just to calm him and myself down.

He smirked all the more as he could hear my thoughts, until he busted out laughing.

I can't believe it. I can't believe I am stuck with this being inside of me, this twisted, violent, vicious being who cared for no one, not even himself. No one deserves me, no one deserves me because of this demon I share a body with.

"You find me a demon?" The man glaring at me said, his arms folded across his steadily breathing chest. Mine was rapidly lifting and falling, how can even our breathing be different? "You keep calling the devil, is that how you really find me, kid?"

"Of course that's how I find you," I say not looking up at him in my reflection. "You have murdered countless people using my body. You take pleasure in watching their lives fade away as their bright eyes diminish to black. You take pleasure in seeing the red spill out of bodies, and smelling the scent of rotting flesh. You are just a monster who will kill at any living being for the sheer fun, for the sheer amusement of tasting death. But I will do whatever it takes to keep you under, to make sure you don't take over this body, MY body again, and kill anymore innocent people."

"Heh," my reflection laughed. "You don't get it do you? The more hyped up, the more focused on me that you are, the more easily I can take control. Why do you think I've been bugging you this entire evening?" At that moment, I felt a sharp pain run down my spine. His laughing becoming louder and louder in my brain, ringing in my ears, my head spinning in circles. I yelled in pain as it was quickly becoming unbearable. I fought hard against it, wrestling against the other creature within of me, trying to keep him inside. I've had this experience before, he's trying to take control of my body. I gripped the sides of the sink in front of me, my eyes shut tight as I scream all the louder. I fall to the floor, tears stinging my cheeks as the cackling inside me starts to come out of my mouth. My fingers start to tingle, my eyes roll in the back of my head, and soon, I can no longer feel my entire body.

I see an empty abyss, I can't feel anything. But I can hear someone's thoughts, the monsters thoughts. I am no longer in control, he is.

'Well,' I hear the voice say. 'It's been a few months since I've been in control of this body..' I then see this man, although this time, I am seeing him from inside the mirror. I am in the mirror, and he is standing outside the mirror, looking right back at me. Looking at me with his demon red eyes, and sharp white teeth.

"Alrighty then," he sighs, standing up straight and fixing up his blue tie. "Lets give little miss pretty a proper visit then, shall we?"

"Don't kill her," I said, pleading with someone who doesn't feel pity. He just laughed before walking out the door of the bathroom. I knew I'd never see my girlfriend, the light of my life, ever again.