Horror in the 90s: 'Soultaker'

Soultaker (1990)

Directed by Michael Rissi

Written by Vivian Schilling

Starring Vivian Schilling, Joe Estevez, Robert Z'Dar, Gregg Thomsen

Release Date October 26th, 1990

Box Office $43,000

When I went looking for Soultaker in order to watch it for this project, it wasn't available. I couldn't find it for rent or purchase in terms of streaming services. I mentioned to a friend of mine that I was having trouble finding it and they surprised me with a DVD copy. That sounds fortuitous right? That sounds like good luck for me doesn't it? The DVD I was given by my friend however, was not an official DVD of Soultaker. Rather, it was an official dub of an episode of the comedy series, Mystery Science Theater 3000.

There are certainly plenty of bad horror movies that I have watched for this book, without knowing for sure ahead of time that they were terrible. Thus, having already been told how bad Soultaker was, MST3K only features the worst of the worst, I had a choice to make as to whether or not it was worth seeing. That choice was complicated also by the fact that I cannot watch it in its original form. The only access to Soultaker currently is this Mystery Science Theater 3000 riffed version.

Nothing against MST3K, I am a big fan of their work. But am I going to be able to get a truly good sense of Soultaker by watching Mike and the Bots wittily dancing upon the film's carcass? Well, I decided to find out and what I found is that the MST3K crew is incredibly talented and Soultaker could not possibly be improved on by watching it without the banter of the crew of the Satellite of Love. From minute one, to minute last, Soultaker is an all-time stinker.

Soultaker stars the far less talented but far more entertaining brother of Martin Sheen, Joe Estevez. Estevez is the title character, the Soultaker. It's Joe's job to grab the dead and take their souls to heaven... or that other place, if you know what I mean. It's Hell, the other place is Hell. Anyway, the plot of Soultaker finds four teenagers getting into a car accident and ostensibly being killed. Joe caused the accident because the teens, who could not possibly be under the age of 30, are on his death list.

Using his green glowy ring, one the production crew must have got out of a gumball machine at a nearby grocery store, Joe takes the soul of one victim while two others make a hasty getaway, leaving their bodies behind... somehow. The two are our protagonists, Natalie, played by screenwriter, Vivian Schilling, and a sentient haircut named Zach, played by Gregg Thomsen. To no ones surprise, this is the only movie that Thomsen ever acted in.

Natalie and Zach are a former couple on the verge of reconciliation when they died, or almost died? Maybe? Anyway, they don't actually know they are dead. Or dying? Again, the movie is bad at setting the stakes or explaining... anything. Much like star Gregg Thomsen, director Michael Rissi also failed to find work in movies after having made Soultaker and the movie demonstrates exactly why. Bottom line, once they find out they are dead or dying, Natalie and Zach must fight Joe Estevez in order to sneak back into their bodies. I guess, who knows for sure.

In a scene of inexplicable confusion and oddity, Natalie and Zach travel to Natalie's house, still unaware that they are just wandering souls. There, they find that Natalie's mom can actually see them, though she is acting very strange. Nat-Mom insists that Natalie take a bath and insists on drawing said bath for her. Then, once she has goaded her daughter to finally take the bath, she watches creepily from the doorway as her daughter undresses. Now, context, this is Joe Estevez's Soultaker being a creep but why anyone thought having him impersonate the mom in this moment is truly anyone's bizarre guess.

That's just some of the awfulness that is Soultaker. The movie is a painfully inert 93 minutes and it would be unendurable without the Mystery Science Theater 3000 commentary. Mike and the Bots are at their absolute funniest destroying this obliviously silly horror movie. Their jokes could not be more on point, especially when assessing the modest pleasures of Joe Estevez's awful acting and character actor Robert Z'Dar's wild choice to wear what appears to be a George Michael costume wig.

The MST3K episode is also something special for longtime MST3K fans as it includes a pair of famous cameos. Joel Hodgson, the original host of the show, and Frank Coniff, the original TV's Frank, each return for cameos in the Soultaker episode and both are in rare form. It's really the only reason anyone, other than me, should know about Soultaker. The movie is incredibly, immaculately terrible. It's an abysmal movie, one bad enough to have ended multiple careers and likely should have ended even more than it did.

Soultaker is the latest entry in my serialized portions of my book project, Horror in the 90s. I am writing an exhaustive history of the horror movie genre from January 1990 to December 1999. The book will include nearly 200 movie reviews along with an examination of the trends, tropes, stars, and franchises that made horror what it was in this pivotal decade. I am already hard at work on the book, as you can see on Horror.Media, but I cannot finish the book without your support. You can help make Horror in the 90s a reality by making a monthly pledge or by leaving a one-time tip here on Vocal.

You can also donate via my Ko-Fi account where, for a donation of $10.00, I will watch and write about the movie of your choice. I cannot promise how the review will go, good or bad, but I will make it as entertaining as I possibly can. And, as I said, all donations will go toward making Horror in the 90s happen. Donate via my Ko-Fi and I promise you a shout out in the book once it is complete. Thanks!