Going up?

Where am I?

I've been in this tall tower for as long as I can remember, but I can't remember how long that is. It almost feels like I was born here. The room is caged, round, and empty, the only thing in here are stairs, and the sound of water dripping, but everything is bone dry. Everything is stone, and looking up all I see is stairs spiraling up forever.

I've been here forever, I think, my mom is calling to me from about two stories up. wait, stories? I remember square buildings! I wasn't born here, but the only way out it up and I think there's a reason I shouldn't go up, why?

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I'm not sure how long it has been as it is always light in here, but there's no source of light, and the windows are bricked shut. The dripping sound is overwhelming, and I can still hear my mom up there. I am wearing a nightgown with ariel on it, it's long and felt, but I'm always cold anyway.

as time goes on, I've noticed my nightgown get...shorter? smaller? actually everything is getting smaller, not a lot, just a little, my skirt is only about 2" shorter, for example. it occurred to me that mom never sleeps and she sounds so sickeningly happy, almost innocent, but she's not, I know it.

wait, why do I know that? Mom loves me, why would I think that?

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I- I...how old am I? I just realized, I know why everything is getting smaller, I'm growing. I was a kid when I came here, I know that, but how old am I? I'm at least 5" taller now, I can reach the top of the door now, smooth, and cold, completely sealed with stone. It's almost as though this entire room was carved out of a single stone.

I think I need to get moving, I feel like I need to.

I'm going up, maybe mom can help me, mom loves me, I love mom, maybe she will save me.

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I've been walking for so long, the balls of my feet are bloody from blisters and my eyes tingle at the back with threatening tears, but I'm so scared I can't cry. This feeling seems familiar, but I don't know why, I remember a little, I remember screaming for my dad, but I don't know any more than that.

Who am I?

The railing for the stairs is gone, it was getting lower and lower and now I'm walking without any railing being there. I'm hugging the wall as I tiptoe up, mom is giggling. she's telling me to hurry, but I can't see her. I cant see the floor either anymore, so hopefully I'm going in the right direction, although there's only up or down, I feel like I'm doing something wrong, but how? I'm just walking, following mom. Following directions.

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It's been a bit, and I'm much worse off, I see mom, running ahead each time I see her, but...why? Is it because of that sound? The dripping is gone now, but it's been replaced with something else, something wrong like i was never supposed to hear it. If I listen too intently, my nose begins bleeding, so I'm walking with my hands over my ears.

I'm so scared, and my arms are sore.

I hope I catch up with mom soon I want a hug. I miss mom. She loves me. I love her

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I haven't seen mom, I think she's gone, I miss her so much, why is she always going away? Why has she always been gone? Mom, why? Do you not love me?

The stairs have been going away, just, disappearing behind me. Any time I'm not looking where I came from, when I look back, there's nothing but darkness and falling. I'm scared of heights, I know that now.

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MOM! I can see mom, she is now walking in front of me, hand outstretched, but she won't talk to me, and I can't reach her, why is she doing this? I'm so mad, but I have to follow her.

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Oh my god! Mom walked onto a floor, I'm catching up! Wait, why is mom so...short? I'm taller than her now? why?

how old am I?

It's been so... long, my feet are soled by my callouses, it's been so long, I feel so tired, but I'm at the top finally.

Maybe I can rest soon

"Look down there" my mom smiled pointing off the ledge, presumably at where I came from? I don't want to let her down, so I look over the edge, at? wait at nothing? mom? wha-

i feel a hand jolt me forward, it's large and rough, i can tell that much, nothiing my my mother's small hands.

Mom is giggling.

who?

I'm able to look back at the hand, only to realize, we were never alone here, mom and I were just playthings for her husband all these years, walking endlessly, never sleeping or eating.

Mom's husband pushed me off, I can feel the wind rip by painfully, whipping my hair against my face as I watch the floor come up to meet me.

I take a last breath, accepting my fate, and looking forward to resting.

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I woke up on the floor of my room again, next to my bed and screaming, again. This is the third time this week I've had this dream. I can hear my step-mom running to me.

my name is Lydia.

I'm five.

I have this nightmare a lot.

I have it at least seven times a month, dad says.

Always wake up the same.

On the floor and screaming.

I'm so tired.