Eating my experiences (14)

TOME 15

The walk towards downtown was peaceful and we enjoyed catching up to one another. I walked hand in hand with Zach, an act that brings up old memories of me crying in his arms over now seemingly trivial problems involving my mother. He is a kind and calming soul which I am glad to have retrieved. He would often catch me smiling up at him and tease me lightly. Just like old times.

As we lackadaisically approach the glass storefront, I can tell something is off, I don't recall so many of the windows being destroyed. I halt, catching Alex by the shoulder as I pulled Zach back by his soft pillowed hand. "Wait, something is off...can we wait and watch?" I ask as if I was going to allow time for an answer before crossing the street to a darkened cafe where I tug my friends in to stare out the window.

"What? I don't see anything, anyone." Alex said, and I don't blame him, he hadn't spent hours out of every day staring at those windows like I had. I knew this store front. We waited as the sun began to set, waited as my knees cramped and Alex chose to sleep, good for him. That's when I saw a man I didn't recognize exit the storefront to smoke, I knew Aurora's entire family, and this man was not her family.

"Zach, do you think she's in trouble...or do you think she sold us out?" I ask absently without moving my eyes. "I think we need to wait longer to know...right?" I finally look over at him as he strokes his facial fair, the only man I had ever thought pulls off facial hair I thought to myself, distracted.

"I mean, do what you think is right, I don't know her" he spoke slowly, calm, and he was right. I hated that this decision would be all mine. I laid out on my back, reaching for Alex, reaching to wake him, which he did. Rubbing his eyes he slowly gained his bearings.

"We need to leave, out the back if possible? Or we need to wait for that guy" I said pointing behind me with my thumb "is gone." I am speaking in a self assured tone, hoping it will help. We waited for what felt like hours despite it being only minutes as I dug through my bag in search of a key, possibly our only hope for the night. "Aha! Okay, I guess he's gone, let's go, follow me." I creep out the front door, knowing it is farther from the militia's apartment building, despite being so near the store.

We made an abrupt right out of the cafe, away from the store, and our destination. We would just have to circle back on the back streets. I walked fast, my friends trailing as we carefully made our way though the dark to my old apartment. The apartment I had shared with Gabe. I hold my breath as the key slides into the locked gate and turns, allowing the three of us entry. I nearly sprint to the last apartment where I slip a second key into the door handle and creep in, flashlight in hand.

It looks just as we left it, something that dashes through my heart as the world began to spin. How could I have allowed myself to forget the beauty of the life that Gabe and I had shared. Our soft bed a cascade of pastel purples and pinks, our small kitchen we had cooked so many meals for one another in, the porch filled with now dead plants. I allow myself to crumple to the floor as Alex seeks out a lighter to light the many candles left behind in our rush to evacuate. Zach gathers my teas knowing how much I grew to miss them, scooping them into a backpack he found laying in the closet.

"We should all be able to fit on the bed, and if not, we can take the mattress topper off and put it in the living room" I could hear myself say, with no recollection of willing it into being.

"Do you miss me?" I could hear Gabe's voice, while catching wind of the rotten smell his head gave off. The water of the river somehow acted as a severe detriment for the level of rot. I crawled slowly towards the porch where I gently placed his head, hoping I would be able to leave it here, but unsure if I had it in me.

"I think I'm gonna...go to bed, I uh...I just need to end the day now" I say, while standing painfully before crossing the small apartment to the bed I had once shared with Gabe. I take in a sharp breath before allowing myself to lay down amidst the feather duvet of my past.

TO BE CONTINUED...