Decisions

I woke up floating in a small pool of water in the dark. Only my head and the very top of my skin are out of the water. I try to move, finding out quickly that I am paralyzed. My eyes flit back and forth seeing nothing in the darkness. After what seemed like a small eternity I call out, "Hello? Is anyone there?" All around me small points of light start to appear two at a time. Up higher and higher I can see more appearing.

Finally other lights start to brighten up and I can see in front me hundreds, maybe thousands of me staring back at me, "Hello." They all say in chorus and yet it all sounds like one loud voice responding to me from all around where I am. As I look at them somehow I am aware that they are all me at various ages of my life and all walks of life. The other major defining feature I notice of the ones I can see at least is that none of them are old. Some are older but none of them looked like they were old enough to die of old age.

From my left another me but slightly older than myself moves next to me standing at the edge of the pool before kneeling down to talk to me, "You're finally awake. Now we can get this over with. You stand accused of our death and are on trial. Depending on the outcome you will either move forward from this moment or you will be stuck here forever dragging all of us down with you." He stands now and spins in a circle addressing everyone in the room, "He has awoken. I have explained to him what is happening. Let us begin."

In one voice I hear all the various me's respond, "Let us begin."

My eyes look to the person who spoke to me. I can barely see him in my peripheral vision, "What do you mean you explained what is happening? All you said was I was on trial for my own death. Which makes no sense by the way. Why can't I move at all? Why are there thousands of me's here? Where even am I? Am I dead?"

The person standing by me sighs and kneels down again, "You can't move because yes you're dead. All the you's that you see before you are various timelines spawning from a singular moment in your life. The moment you decided to kill someone. That is the moment you are personally at. All of these people in front of you and behind you suffered immensely from that sole decision. They have all convened here at this point outside of time to hold you accountable for this action. And before you ask, yes they are all dead too."

My eyes move back and forth taking in the people that I can see. All of them are wearing pretty much the same expression. One of anger and rage directed only at me. "Okay I do remember the murder you're talking about. That kid at the bar with the smart mouth. Followed him back to his house and beat him till he was dead. But what does that have to do with anything? Kid was asking for it, running his mouth like that thinking he was the top dog."

The man by the pool calls out, "He shows no remorse. That his actions were just and right for killing someone because they talked too much." He turns to me now, "From that choice something was born in you. Some sort of darkness that convinced you that you could keep acting like that. That you could be the arbiter of life and death for all who annoyed you. And not one of us made it past sixty because we died at the hands of one of the people we tried to kill or because of a confrontation with police."

After that a roar came out from all of the me's once again in that singular voice, "Kill him! End him! Punish him! He sent us all to die. To be punished for his sin." After a little while the roar finally died down and the room became silent again.

I continued to look around taking in their disgust and I could start to sense sadness as well. None of these people wanted to punish me as much as they just wished they hadn't become what they were. I sighed closing my eyes, "I acknowledge what I did but let me ask something of all of you. Why did you continue? You say something was born in you and you lay all that blame on me. I began the cycle but not one of you chose to fight back against it. So how is it all my fault? Again I know what I did but do all of you?"

The room sat silent for ages. I could feel all their eyes on me though mine were closed. Their breathing in sync created a wall of oppression around me. Finally the one closest to me spoke, "You're right. All of us sought to blame you for our sins because you were the beginning. You were the progenitor of this path. And I don't speak for the others but I felt helpless to stop myself. Every kill only felt to justify my philosophy more and more but then someone else would piss me off and I just couldn't help myself. I think I've heard enough." He turns to the crowds of people, "What say you all?"

With one roar the call came out, "One more. Let him try one more. If he returns then punish him." The looks on all their faces had slowly shifted to that of only sadness. I felt it alongside them a sadness that permeated my essence at what had become of them. What I was to become.

The person closest to me stepped into the pool now standing over the top of me, "We have decided to give you one more chance. A chance for all of us. We will all suffer in damnation for what we've done but perhaps you can craft a new outcome. If you do then our suffering will not be in vain. Remember you can not save us but you can save you and by extension bring us peace. Now go back to the point and choose again. Also you will not remember any of this at most you'll have a faint voice in the back of your head." He grins at me, "So here's to hoping!" He put his hand on my chest and shoved me under the water.

When my eyes opened it was night and I was sitting on top of a young man. It took me a second to realize what was happening. His face was bloodied and he was gasping for air. My fist was up above my head and it hurt something terrible. I lowered it slowly to realize it was covered in blood. I suddenly remembered what was happening. This kid I was on top of had been running his mouth at the bar. Trying to pick fights and just being a general nuisance. I had followed him to his house with the intent of shutting him up for good.

I started to raise my fist again to finish what I had started when I heard something faint in the back of my head. A voice that sounded like my own and yet not, "Stop. If you kill him now you'll start something you can't stop." I sat there breathing heavily suddenly taking full stock of what I had done. I was really about to kill a man because he had annoyed me. I stood up taking a deep breath.

I look down at the kid, "I'm sorry for that. But you really should learn to watch your tongue. I'll call an ambulance. Also don't say anything to anyone or I will come back." I started walking away, placing a quick anonymous call for an ambulance. As I walk away I think about everything that just happened and realize this is something I'll need to keep an eye on. Or else I might start making a habit of it.

This story was partially born from a dream and the rest I filled in. I hope you all enjoyed it. If you did leave a like, subscribe, and feel free to leave a tip. Till next time.