Conscious Shadows

The cabin in the woods had been abandoned for years, but one night, a candle burned in the window. I was merely on the walk back to my house as this caught my peripherals. I turned away and tried to just ignore it, but couldn’t help but pick up pace a little bit. A shiver ran up my spine. Nobody was usually in these woods, that’s why I bought my house out here. I hurried down the trail, running from the prickling sensation that someone was watching me.

“Not again.” I panic. I picture somebody chasing me in the back of my head. I try to drown it out with the repeated mantra ‘it's not real. It’s all in my head.’ Today has just been a bad day, and I’m not really surprised it's come to this. The second I reach my house I practically jump up the stairs. I look back behind me, scanning the scene for whoever could be following. I hear rustling in the distance, and turn towards my door digging for my keys.my hands shaking so much I dropped them. I reach down for them, taking another look behind me. My breath catches in my throat as I see the leaves moving on the bush.

I begin hyperventilating and finally manage to unlock the door. Throwing myself inside wheezing for breath at this point.

“I need my meds,” I gasp.

The pull to keep watching prevents me from getting to the bathroom. I watch mostly covered by the curtain of my living room now. The bush lingered a little distance from the house, by the trees. I couldn’t tell who was shaking more, me or the branches in the wind. Still gasping, I close my eyes as the bush rattles. I peek one eye open, letting out my breath as I see nothing but a bush out there. Despite the revelation, there is no relief. From the corner of my eyes I swear I see eyes staring from the woods. They didn’t look human.

Locking my door I run to the bathroom digging through the mirror in there. Bottles and face wash falling half haphazardly on the floor. I shouted in frustration slamming the mirror closed and a resounding crack followed. Everything behind the mirror now on the counter and floor. I began with the bathroom cabinet desperately. Where did I put it last? I tugged at my hair, staring at the items on the floor as if it should suddenly appear there. I started hearing creaks in the floorboards now. I backed away from the bathroom door in terror, while tears freely streamed down my face. I could hear it down the hall slowly getting closer. I reached forward, locking the bathroom down. I carefully got in the bathtub, and crouched down starting at the door. The creaking stops right in front of the door. I cover my mouth to stop any sound from escaping. I pray that my tears stop so I can see clearly.

I think I hear breathing on the other side of the door. I don’t see a shadow, but every cell in my body burns with fear. My heart throbs and the pain in my chest only furthers my trepidation. Even over the sound of my own heartbeat I manage to hear the creaking begin again. It moves further down the hall. The door to the broom closet opens and closes. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to get a grip. I pull my small little flip phone from my pocket. With blurry vision and unstable hands I text my sister, as quietly as I can. I need someone, or something to save me right now, and I’m not even sure I can walk currently. My phone chimes and I try to cover the sound. I listen for a few minutes before opening my phone.

‘You know I don’t have time for this Rebecca.’~ Kaly. That's what you deserve.

“Shut up.” I whisper silently to myself, my eyes burning with tears. How many times have I told you she doesn’t care about you?

“Shut up! You don’t know anything. You aren’t real.” Oh I’m real. I’m the only one who cares about you. The only one you can trust.

“Just leave me alone.” I cry quietly. The whispers got louder, and I grip the sides of my head by my hair. I was gonna die here. No one cared, and no one was coming. My eyes pop open at the sound of my front door slamming open. What else is going to happen? The creaking floorboards wander the kitchen before they get closer to the bathroom door again. My palms ache from my tightening grip on the bathtub. The steps stop, a shadow now evident. I release a sob as the door knob jiggles against the lock. My heart is now drowning out any other sound. I shriek, the lock straining against the pressure. Ripping the shower bar down, my grip on it was unyielding. Now standing in the bathtub, I ready myself to fight for my life.

Finally my worst nightmare plays out as I watch them pick the lock from the outside. This time a scream escapes me as the bathroom door flies open. There standing in the doorway was none other than my sister. collapsing in the tub I begin crying in relief to see my not so happy sister's face. She waited until my crying slowed down, then she began picking up the bottles from the floor. With a sigh she hands me a medication bottle that reads ‘Clozapine’ on it. Without hesitation I take one of them while my sister reorganizes my mess. After a few moments of silence Kaly sighs deeply.

“Where is this ‘man’ you were talking about?” Her condescending tone was like a blow to my gut, while her air quotations were a finishing attack on my heart. I still feel the panic from thinking about the closet down the hall. All I did was point to my right. With no further explanation she went down the hall. Pulling myself out of the tub, I creep towards the doorway. Peeking down the hall Kaly is already there, doorknob in hand. I count each breath with the seconds it takes the door to open, a long creak sounding from its hinges.

Behind the door was an empty closet I don’t use. Avoiding my sister's glare I can’t help but think. I know I’m just a burden in her life, but she doesn’t have to be so obvious about it.

“Whatever Bex. You’re lucky my husband is very understanding. If you didn’t want to live with me to avoid imposing on me, I don’t understand why you still call me so often? If you lived with me at least it would be closer.” She sighs closing my closet door. I remain silent. What was I supposed to say to that? She just shook her head and walked out. I turned around to see casper, sitting on the floor staring up at me. I smile down at my little tabby, with the only happiness I felt all day. There was no more energy for the day, and casper was my only anchor for today. picking Casper up, I carry him close to my chest. His fur is soft and comforting. He was the only one I could trust, and I love him with all my heart. I quickly lock the front door, won’t help me sleep any easier. Noticing my paranoia was letting up a bit, I yawn. Casper and I went back to the room, and place him down.

My room isn’t very large, my bed is not very expensive. My house isn’t shabby or anything like that. It’s cute, even though it was old and creaky. I only truly felt life through Casper, and painting. They helped me cope. I even had a canvas in the corner of my room. To the right was my closet with no door and my dresser. I had painted my dresser with daisies and chrysanthemums. My sister thought it childish for a 28 year old woman. My bed was only a twin size, but I had also dyed and decorated my sheets. My room was small, but it was personalized to me. I love my home despite the occasional creepiness in the woods.

A breeze ran up my spine drawing my attention away from the bed, and I was in shock to see my window was open. Onlynow noticing how dark it was outside. How long was I just curled up in the bathtub? It felt like no time at all. I got up to close my window, as I approached I heard little whispers outside. In a panic I quickly slam it shut and lock it. Turning my lamp on, I shut my main light off. The little buzz of the lamp always entertains Casper, and helps me keep the shadows away. staring at the window, I uneasily got under my covers. I pull my covers close to my neck and try to keep my eyes closed.

Just as I start to relax, I flinch at the sound of leaves crunching outside my window. Just think about how no one was in that closet. I pray internally. moving the covers over my head, I pull Casper in close to me. Laying perfectly still. Casper's purring was my only comfort towards the stress. The footsteps turn into the sound of my window pulling against the lock. Clenching my eyes tightly, tears leaked out. I couldn’t describe how much time passes until the window finally stops. A tune hums from the other side. Hearing the footsteps getting further away, I remain under the covers. The exhaustion of these events eventually help me barely shut my eyes, and sleep lightly. Hopefully tomorrow was a better day.

I wake up to the sun shining through my window, I’m surprised I slept through the night. My alarm informs me that it is now 6 in the morning. rolling out of the bed, I disturb Casper from his slumber.I shuffle my feet across the floor to the kitchen to begin breakfast. Cracking some eggs, I make some waffles. After preparing my food I pull out some shredded tuna and dry cat food.

Enjoying our breakfast, I stare out my kitchen window. Birds were fluttering around picking food from the forest floor. The sun peeks through the branches acting as little spotlights for the birds. The pine trees were the only ones left with green on them with the change of the seasons. Nature was so beautiful. I enjoy these peaceful moments, with Casper as my company. There is a little cat door on the side entrance so he could enjoy these views for himself as well. I am well known in town as the crazy cat lady who lives in the woods. Some children call me a town witch.

After breakfast I wash the plate and bowl. Casper runs out the cat door, on his way to traumatize the birds. I go into the bathroom to get ready to work, at the small cafe just outside the woods. It is the closest to my home, and seeing as my Dad’s inheritance money paid for my house. I didn’t need much. Friends are an extra worry for me so I avoid them. My reputation does a lot of that for me as well. After my shower I brush my teeth. My reflection holds no joy in it. I can remember yesterday, and I remember how real it felt. Pulling my cafe uniform on, I don’t bother with makeup. Not having time for such things. I pull my bathroom drawer open and reach for my brush. When I result with nothing in hand I stare at the drawer.

Inside are; a few hair ties, loose bobby pins, tweezers, and nail clippers. My brush is supposed to be in there too. Pulling out the other drawer I’m met with facewash and Q-tips. Did Kaly misplace it? I search in my mirror, under the sink, and even my bedroom. I can’t find my hairbrush anywhere. After checking the time I realize I don’t have any more to look. I quickly ran back to the bathroom, combing my hair with my fingers doing the nicest ponytail I can do.

Grabbing my brown leather coat from my father, and my keys, I slip on my socks and shoes.

“Later Casper!” I shout out and run out the door. I make sure both deadbolts are locked. I take a quick pace down the path in the woods I normally take. Fall leaves sprinkle the forest floor and so does the morning light. With deep breaths of fresh air, My footsteps light. I carefully avoid piles of leaves and thin twigs. For some cognitive reason beyond my comprehension at this point. I stop and stare at the abandoned cabin. I didn’t see light this time, but I still am not confident enough to believe all of it was in my head. Turning away after gazing a second later than I mean to. I began humming a quiet tune with my steps keeping my mind occupied.

After a few minutes the resounding crack of a twig behind me paralyzes me. My breathing becomes heavier. I still feel the effects of my meds. This can’t be happening. I swallow my saliva, and did the one thing in any horror movie you avoid. Slowly turning my head to the side, I carefully peek over my shoulder behind me. In the distance I see a large figure of a man some distance behind me. He isn’t close enough for a clear description. All I recognise is that his shirt is blue. I stare, unmoving, neither of us making our first move. No this can’t be real. Who’s following me in this town? I try to calm my heart and yet trying to only seem to make it run faster.

My thoughts disappear as I see him begin running. Instantly I began running as well. I pant as my chest burns. Every muscle in my body aching from the adrenaline pumping them. I can’t help the anguish I feel from the dire need to run. Every blood vessel in my body begging to survive. While the rational part of my brain mocks us for believing it’s real. I haven’t experienced such a severe long lasting episode since my fathers death, 8 years ago. I just want to live my life. Why won’t it leave me alone? I struggle to keep running, and my vision is beginning to blur. I push further until I trip into a tree 30 feet from the edge of the tree line. My lungs have given up and I gasp desperately for oxygen. In terror I peer behind me searching wildly for the man who chased me.

No one. Just the empty woods behind me. No more footsteps to be heard . I swear I heard some following me the whole time I was running, unless that was my heartbeat in my ears. I drop my head, continuing to catch my breath. I am so tired of this. So is my family, and I have no real friends either. I have to get to work. I pat my uniform and begin walking again.

As soon as I pass the tree line, I immediately put a small half smile on my face. Not so large that it’s obvious how fake it is, but not so small someone asks me ‘are you okay?’. I surely tire of questions no one wants the answers to. People ask ‘kind’ questions only to satisfy their unquenchable curiosity. I had enough mystery to my life to become a victim to their thirst. Sure if I lived in town there would be less questions. In the lack of questions however, there was more curiosity. My sanity can’t afford it.

I reach the cafe. The cafe opens in an hour, and I need to get set up. Tracy will be in about half an hour to help open shop. She is a sweet older lady, and the closest person I’d consider a friend. I punch in my time card and then pull out all the frozen things into the refrigerator, things we will use throughout the day. I start setting up the coffee maker and the front. Hearing the back door I look back to see who came in.

“Tracy?” I call out. No response returns, I go back there to check. No one is by her locker and I try to calm the foreboding feeling in my chest. I nearly jump out of my skin when I feel someone's hand on my shoulder. I calm down when I see it’s Tracy and she apologizes profusely for scaring me.

“You’re a bit jumpy today hun” her slight Australian accent peeks through.

“It’s been a rough morning to say the least.” I shrug. I don’t feel like going into further detail when it’s all in my head. I am grateful that Tracy isn’t the type to push. I just need to get through the day so I can go home.

The Café, now open, fills with customers, and I man the register. I notice every person wearing a blue shirt. Why are so many people wearing blue? Is it a coincidence? I stare intently at the register focusing as much as I can on just getting people their orders. The ringing of the register echos in the back of my head. Years of this job, and my body moves on its own. Doing the same actions over and over, while my mind travels elsewhere. I hear the women of this town gossiping over some girl wearing a dress that was too short for her. I could hear men from another table talking about what seems like a similar description, with less criticism. I find their endless desire for gossip tiring, though I cannot say that I don’t understand their motivation.

“Rebecca!” I flinch so hard I nearly dropped the coffee in my hand. Glaring at the customer while he chuckles. Thomas. He is tall with brown hair, and blue eyes. He is kind of a shut in. He is also my sister’s husband.

“What Tom?” I replied. I just notice he too is wearing a blue shirt, I try my best to hide my horror.

“I didn’t mean to startle you. I think I just lost you for a little while.” I shook my head at his response trying to clear my head.

“Did you want something?” I gesture to the register.

“I had heard you’ve been having a tough time.” He seems genuinely concerned, however he’s acting too forward.

“Is that how my sister described it?” I turn away sarcastically. He grabs my arm and turns me towards him.

“I don’t understand why you still refuse to live with us. Is it because of all that stuff in high school? You don’t have to think, or worry about any of that anymore.” He speaks slowly, and his hand moves from my arm to my hand, “That is unless you actually want to?”

“I’m good,” I rip my hand away, “You should leave, if you are not ordering.” My skin feels like it’s crawling from where he grabbed me. I see the rage boiling in his eyes. Something to know about Thomas, besides his creepy gestures, is he puts on this nice guy facade over his anger issues. He has poor impulse control. I glare at him as he storms out of the cafe. Glad to be done with that interaction.

It is approaching the end of my shift, and I begin prepping for Sarah to take my shift. If anyone noticed Thomas they kept their mouths shut. Thomas’s dad is a government official, and the rumors about him making people disappear run rampant in this town. I punch out as I see Sarah walk in, and head to my locker. Tracy hurries up to me, and stops me with her hand. She rustles through her locker for a minute before finally finding what she is looking for. She smiles warmly at me before placing a taser in my hand.

Before I protest Tracy is already gone. I am not supposed to have one of these. Placing it in my bag, I’ll just bring it tomorrow. The walk home, though bone chilling and full of whispers, is uneventful. The light is still bright, but never stops my nightmares. I see my house in view and begin searching my bag for my keys. I take slow paces up my steps while rummaging through my bag. Success! I pull my keys out and turn to my door.

My keys slip through my fingers, I back away. My chest tightens, gasping for breath. Blood was splattered across my porch and the word soon was written in blood on my front door. I immediately grab my phone and call the police department. The phone rang once more than I could handle until someone finally answers.

“Please help me!” I cry out trying to maintain composure while staring at my door.

“Just calm down. Tell me what happened and who this is.” I can tell this is Cary on the phone.

“Cary, someone wrote in blood on my front door. It’s everywhere No one comes into the woods I don’t even know where the blood came fro-” I was stopped.

“Is this Rebecca?” She interrupts.

“Yes! I need someo-” she sighs in the middle of my statement and I can’t believe it.

“You should call your sister Rebecca.” She seems completely disconnected from me now.

“But…. Cary.” I plead with tears in my eyes. I reach down, touching the blood. I stare in horror as it stains my hands red, “This is real I swear.”

“Just take your meds, and call your sister. After that you can call us.” I couldn’t even respond before she hung up. I put my phone away, and ran back to town. She won’t believe me over the phone either. I need to bring Kaly back to see for herself. They live about a 2 hour walk from me.

By the time I got there the sky was already fading to a pale gray. I knock on their door out of breath. I was disheartened to see Thomas and not my sister. His face held nothing but distaste for me now after being shot down again. However, he let me in without even questioning anything. I can’t discuss any of this with him, especially while he has his blue shirt on.

“She is still at work.” This is all he said while closing and locking the door and heading to the kitchen. I try not to take note of the door or his passing smirk when he walks by. Something is bothering me but I’ve always associated it with paranoia. I hear him hum in the kitchen, and his tune sends shivers down my spine. A foreboding familiarity to it. I run to the guest bathroom to calm myself. It has to just be a coincidence, I’m sure I just hallucinated it because I’ve heard it before. I take deep breaths and text my sister about when she gets here. Taking a seat I run my hand through my hair. Looking up I notice a black lump behind their shower door. The glass is textured so it prevents a clear view. It appears as though it’s a small trash bag.

Why is that in their shower? Through the door I hear Thomas still in the kitchen. My curiosity compels me to open the shower. I approach the small trash bag only pausing to hear if Tom was getting close. I struggle to untie the knot. Finally, I become fed up and I rip the bag open. I cover my mouth to hide my shriek of horror. There in the bag I recognize the orange fur. I choke back a sob as I cradle Casper in my arms. I had to escape. I need to warn Kaly about her husband. He’s always been creepy. I escape through the window, running down the street.

I pull my phone out, and call Kaly.

“What’s going on Rebecca? I’m on my way to your house.” She asks semi annoyed.

“No good. Keep heading there, I need to talk to you.” I pant as I hurry there. It is getting really dark now. I keep looking behind me expecting to see him there. Kaly just hangs up on me unsurprisingly.

I make it to my house, Kaly has to be here already. I pause at the now open door with blood. I call out to Kaly, and get no response. I creep into the doorway. All the lights were off. I called her cellphone. I jump as her ringtone sounds from the bathroom. My stomach churns with every creak of my footsteps. The only other sound is Katy Perry ringing behind the door. Slowly, I push the door open, her phone lights up the dark room from the counter top. I scream as I feel a hand on my shoulder. I freeze when I see my sister.

“Oh Kaly. We need to leave, and now!” I begin running into my room grabbing necessities. “Your husband… he killed my cat.”

“I swear he’s been following me lately.” I cry looking at her. She looks at me and rolls her eyes.

“You are overreacting as usually Rebecca” her eyes held deep scrutiny.

“Didn’t you see the blood on my porch!” I shriek at her.

“You need to calm down.” She replies. I ignore her and run to the kitchen grabbing food out of the cabinets. I look out the window and feel my face pale. Thomas stands in front of my house with a bloody baseball bat. I grab the taser from my bag. I stare at my hands. I am still covered in Casper’s blood. Why didn’t Kaly say anything? I turn around and am knocked off my feet. My face is now aching in pain. I look up to see Kaly with a gun in hand.

“It didn’t have to be this way, Rebecca. All you had to do was join us. Recognise your gift to see reality.” For the first time I saw Kaly. She is absolutely unhinged. Her gun pointed at me, her finger on the trigger.

“Thomas tried to convince you. I wish you had just listened.” She tutted at me, like scolding a child.

“You don’t have to do this.” I cry.

“Of course I do. If we aren’t united there can only be one.” She smiles a twisted sneer, “You only lived this long cause we were twins. I tested you.” The look in her face holds nothing but satisfaction. My heart beat loudly. I grip the taser in my hand, and before I hesitate I tase her. A shot rings out as she collapses in pain. I run around her to my bedroom, closing, and locking the door. I push my bed in front of it. I suddenly notice blood coming from my leg. I was hit by the bullet. I run to my window, and kick the screen out. I hop down biting my lip from the pain of the landing. I stand up ready to run as fast as my leg would allow. I scream when an arm wraps around my waist and pinching pain punctures my neck. I drop and scramble away. Looking up at Thomas holding a syringe in hand and I grip my neck. My vision begins to blur, and a metallic taste coats my tongue.

“It’s for the best. I thought after killing your best friend in highschool I could sway you to join us.” I no longer feel my limbs, and collapse onto my back. Darkness fills my gaze. The last thing I hear is the fading footsteps of Thomas and Kaly.