Carnival: You're Going To Laugh

Josh woke up in his hospital bed. Staring at the ceiling, he thought about how hard he could hit the floor if he jumped from the ceiling. He smirked at how ridiculous the idea was. Telling himself that he would have to learn how to stand again first. Swiftly deflating himself telling himself, out loud, “Like I have a reason to walk anymore.”

He eventually got dressed and got himself in his wheelchair. He didn’t open the curtains. He didn’t make the bed. He didn’t care much for anything anymore. He didn’t hide it either.

“Joshua. Joshua.”

Joshua looked at his sister.

“You know it wasn’t your fault right?”

“Carla, shouldn’t you be with your cheating boyfriend?”

“Josh!... I understand you want to be alone. I get that you don’t want to talk to anyone anymore. But pushing everyone away only hurts you in the long run. If not for me or mom, then at least consider seeing a therapist for yourself.”

“Was it your female friend you’ve known since daycare or your ex-boyfriend that you saw in your bed with him?”

“Josh… Please, we want you to get cleared so you can come home.”

Josh looked at Carla with a cold expression, “I have no home.”

“You’ll always…”

“Oh that’s right.” Josh interrupted, “It was both. You caught them during a threesome on his birthday. Yeah. You came home early to surprise him. I heard that wasn’t the first time either.”

“Stop…”

“Rumor has it, he was banging her since y’all got together because she was jealous and you were ‘saving yourself’.”

“Josh. I said…”

Josh interrupted again, “then with your ex at a college party. Even after sobering up, they never stopped meeting up. Eventually leading to all three hanging out at your apartment more and more. The flags must have been everywhere, in hindsight. Where else do you think they did it?”

“Josh… I’m warning you.”

“You know her baby is most likely his right?”

Carla remained silent.

“He doesn’t love you.”

Carla stood with rage-fueled tears pouring from her eyes. Josh didn’t flinch as he looked at her hand inches away from his face. He looked at her crying face. Their eyes met. She apologized and left. The Head Nurse offered to take Josh back to his room. Josh commented on how he could handle himself. Seeing that Josh hadn’t moved for some time, the Head Nurse chuckled while unlocking the wheelchair, “Then my help only means you don’t have to waste your energy.”

Approaching Josh’s room door, the Head Nurse asked Josh, “How did you know she wouldn’t smack you?”

“She’s too nice… she always has been…”

“Would you have been happy if she could bring herself to do it? I have a feeling she wouldn’t have been.”

“You’re not my therapist.”

“You don’t seem like you want a therapist. You seem like you need a friend.”

“No, what I want is a new Romeo Renolds special.”

“The comedian?”

“You know him?”

“Been a big fan the past two years. If you get better, we can go to a show.”

“Nice try, nurse. Bribery is for lawyers and losers with too much to lose. Unless you’re impersonating a nurse, I suggest you be mindful of using your job as a way to lure adolescents outside.”

“I work at a hospital. Your little jabs don’t bother me. There are plenty of people that come here either to make my day harder or my life harder. Someone with obvious fears of losing their sense of self is just another drop in a very deep bucket.”

He left Josh at his bedside with the remote. As it appeared that Josh was going to say something, the Head Nurse was called away over the intercom. He excused himself and ruffled Josh’s hair on the way out. Josh chuckled. The Head Nurse looked back, Josh turned away. When the Head Nurse returned to the front desk, he put in a request for Sunny the clown to visit Josh.

Josh woke up from a nap in a cold sweat. He could still hear the ticking of the broken grandfather clock from that night. He smacked his cheeks to wake himself up further. For a split moment, he thought the air was light green.

He snapped out of it, hearing tapping at the door. “I’m decent.” he responded, looking at his legs. Little did he know, Sunny was already in the room, doing his cloudy day dance. Sunny was wiggling his arms and sliding his feet along the ground. Sunny began singing.

If life has got you down, clouds are all around,

And words are really hard to say.

Sunny comes to town, to take away your frown,

And bag up all your fears today!

Confused, Josh moved the curtain to see a sun mask with a painted-on smile wearing oversized colorful pants held up by rainbow suspenders on yellow-painted skin. Without hesitation, Josh screamed, “Clown!”

He hit Sunny with his pillow so hard that the cotton was everywhere. Even in the mask’s eyes. Sunny stumbled backwards and slid on the part of the sheet that was still on the floor. Josh thought the clown was trying to pull something out of its face to put in his chair. Afraid to see what was going to be put in his chair, Josh grabbed his other pillow and swung with all his force. Hitting Sunny so hard, he tripped over the wheelchair and fell out the window.

Seeing Sunny fall into a bush from the second floor, a nurse on her smoke break let out a tearful scream. Josh laid back in his bed as he tried calming himself down, “it can’t hurt anymore.” The nurse ran to get help.

Sunny twitched. A small child in an all-white suit with a sun emblem on the back and chest, seemed to have descended from the sky. The child put their hands behind their back.

“Oh no, Sunny. You fell down. Can you feel your body?”

Sunny’s eyes darted around frantically, his body was not responding to his thoughts.

“That must be terrifying. Did the mean kids at the hospital hurt you again?”

Sunny started to cry.

“That must be terrible. Day after day. Week after week. Month after month. For the past 6 years. Never getting one laugh. Never being appreciated by the children you were hired to make happy.”

Sunny cried harder. The tears blinded him.

“But I find you funny. Hilarious, even. Those kids, they hate you. They hurt you. They talk horribly about you. And worst of all, they don’t appreciate you.”

Sunny looked up towards the child. The sun was behind the child’s head. All that was clear to Sunny was the child’s glowing light green eyes. A black ash-like haze began to come from Sunny’s body. The child smiled.

“Such strong hatred can be useful. Allow me to save you by making you your ideal self. You don’t want to die do you? So hold onto that hatred. Think of your greatest fears and the core of your hatred.”

Sunny stared up at the child as he thought to himself, “Are you my guardian angel?” The child giggled and verbally spoke, “Not in your wildest dreams.” Sunny’s eyes opened wide as he delta surge of terror.

The child took off Sunny’s mask. The child pulled out a flask and poured a light green liquid into Sunny’s mouth. The black haze grew thick, a light green mist leaked from Sunny’s mouth. Sunny’s body began to twitch violently. The haze became a dense cloud around Sunny. The mist spewed from Sunny’s mouth. The mist and cloud began to twist and mix. The child put the mask back on Sunny. The silhouette of Sunny twitched as if it were breaking. “Now. Go make them laugh.” the child said with a playful smile. Sunny’s body stopped moving. His feet slowly lowered and touched the ground by his head. His body gradually stood upright, squeaking like the sound of a balloon moving, every step of the way. Every part of him except his head. Once his head was upright, it rotated with the sound of a plastic ball filled with bells. The child held out their hand as if waiting for something to be placed in it, “Sunny. I think these humans need the clouds to go away.” The black and light green clouds stopped moving. Sunny placed his face on the child’s palm. The clouds became liquid and swiftly forced their way into Sunny’s body. Sunny’s eyes opened to reveal they were now light green. Sunny smiled cartoonishly big.

The nurse, still with a cigarette in her hand, ran over with police, security, and other staff members. They all stopped seeing Sunny and the child.

The Head Nurse apologized for sending Sunny to cheer him up. Josh turned his head away. The Head Nurse told him that reacting in violence first shouldn’t be the first response for someone so young. Josh was unresponsive. The Head Nurse asked if it would help if he told Josh his first name to show he trusts him. Josh turned to him. The Head Nurse smiled at him. With a concerned expression, the Head Nurse said in a gasp, “Sunny?” confused, Josh turned towards the windows. Both the Head Nurse and Josh went pale as they saw a figure that looked like Sunny waving from the window. Josh began to breathe heavily as he clutched his chest. Noticing that the figure had light green eyes locked onto Josh, the Head Nurse got in between them.

“Sunny… There was a misunderstanding. Josh is afraid of clowns.”

Sunny kept his eyes on Josh with his cartoony smile.

“So that means you can tend to the other children.”

“No.” Sunny said in a monotone.

Josh and the Head Nurse felt a shiver up their spine. Both of them were thinking the same thing, “Did the mask’s mouth just move?!” Sunny’s head lowered as if it was bouncing in place, “I haven’t made him laugh yet.” The Head Nurse, getting a sense that something terrible was about to happen, slammed the window shut. He swiftly grabbed Josh and ran. Sunny watched them get away. “Hide and seek it is.”

The Head Nurse put Josh in a wheelchair and continued running. Josh yelled at the Head Nurse for hiring a psycho killer clown. The Head Nurse told him that now was not the time. A nurse that they ran past asked where they were going in such a hurry. Feeling uneasy, she turned around to see Sunny peeking from the door. Sunny stepped out and stood in the hallway. The nurse waved, “Sunny! Hey, do you know why they’re…” she stopped talking. Not because she didn't want to. But because Sunny was holding her tongue. “Hold your tongue Sarah, I have a joke for you.”

The Head Nurse and Josh got out of an elevator on the main floor and saw the floor was completely empty. They cautiously made their way to the front desk. Empty. Josh pulled at the Head Nurse’s pants while pointing to the front entrance. The Head Nurse looked over and saw why the entire floor was empty. Everyone was stuffed in between the automatic doors. Not stacked. Not collected. Stuffed. All with twisted smiles on their faces and clutching their chests. Hearing a squeaking in the distance that sounded like balloons rubbing, Josh and the Head Nurse hid behind the front desk. The squeaking got closer and closer. The Head Nurse slowly pushed Josh into an exam room behind the front desk. The head Nurse thought to himself, “What in the hell is…” his thought stopped. His body stopped. The squeaking had stopped. Sunny had his hand on the Head Nurse’s head. “Hold that thought Marco.” Sunny’s hand turned the Head Nurse’s body around. The Head nurse gasped as he gazed upon Sunny’s comically large head. Sunny’s crazed look, locked on Marco the Head Nurse. “What do you call an old clock that needs to be thrown away?”

Josh began to flashback to arguing with his stepdad. His dad grabbed a knife from the kitchen and chased him around the house. Both antagonized each other all over the house. That was until his stepdad tripped down the steps. Josh mocked his stepdad. He walked down the steps agitating his stepdad more with taunts and attacks on his masculinity being so frail that he couldn’t have children of his own. His stepdad tackled Josh into a grandfather clock. The traded punches. His stepdad raised the knife over his head, Josh just barely moved his head out of the way. Josh took that time to get away and push the grandfather clock towards his stepdad. He didn’t realize that they were right by the stairs leading to the basement. His stepdad fell down the stairs with the grandfather clock. Josh fell to the carpet exhausted. Feeling something in his back, he reached around and pulled out a large shard of glass. Only hearing the still ticking grandfather clock, Josh laid on the carpet wondering three things. Why isn’t his stepdad groaning? Why can’t he feel his legs? Why is that ticking so loud?

“A waste of time.” Sunny said joyously. Marco chuckled. Then he laughed. And laughed. And laughed. All he could do was laugh. All he could think to do is laugh harder. He forgot his name. He forgot his job. He forgot how to breathe. Marco clutched his chest as he desperately wanted air but couldn’t stop laughing. He dropped to the ground as a light green mist flowed from his mouth and into Sunny. His head inflated like a balloon. His massive eye looked through the glass of the exam room. Josh stayed behind the door, biting his hand to keep from laughing.