Ashlyn's Darkness

It's happening again, mommy and daddy are fighting. I sit in the far corner of my room and hide my face behind my knees, I just want the fighting to stop. "The drinking has to stop Tommy! I can't take it anymore! You have to choose, the booze or your family!" Mom yells from the kitchen. I flinch when I hear loud slapping sound follow her words, mom screams and begs for daddy to stop. I cover my ears and close my eyes tight, just block out the noise, that's what she always tells me.

My body tenses when my bedroom door is slammed open, my head snaps up. Daddy is standing in the doorway, he's swaying from side to side. I cover my nose and stare at him with wide green eyes, "A-And you, you little bitch. You're just like her," he says as he stumbles over to where I'm sitting. Daddy grabbed me by my hair before I could even try to escape, I scream and thrash around wildly. A rough slap across the face shuts me up, my daddy keeps hitting me over and over again until everything goes dark. It's so dark and cold, where am I?

"You leave her alone you monster."

That sounded like me, but I wasn't talking. No, someone else was, but they were using my voice. There were screaming and cursing, then finally light returned. I blink and look at my daddy curiously, he's backing away from me holding his hand. Slowly, drops of red drip from his hand to the floor of my bedroom. "Y-You, little bitch! You bit me!" He yells. The taste of metallic fills my mouth, I grimace in disgust and wipe my tongue with my hand. Surely, I wasn't the one who bit daddy. I take a step towards him, but he moves back clutching his hand to his chest.

"Stay away from me, you demon child!" He yells as he leaves my room. His words break my heart in two, how could he say that? He used to call me his little princess and called mommy is queen. I gasp, I forgot what he did to mommy! I run out of my room and into the kitchen, my mom lays on the floor barely conscious. I run over to her side and hold her hand tight, bruises and blood covers her pale face. Tears well up in my eyes.

"M-Mommy... W-Wake up." I sob as I gently shake her shoulder. My mom groans and slowly opens her eyes, I gasp and wrap my arms around her neck. She shushes me quietly and strokes my black curls, she tells me that it's going to be okay and that she'll handle daddy. I don't know what she means by that, but I'll trust her.

The next day all was calm, mommy was finally happy for once. She was smiling and singing her silly songs to me, it was like yesterday had never happened. Though, the bruises on mommy's face ruined that illusion. Daddy hadn't come back for the rest of the night, though... I had some weird dreams about him. I had a dream that daddy was dead and that I was the one who made him dead. It was so scary that I woke up right after the dream. I look up from my coloring sheet when the phone rings, mommy answers it with her cheery tone. "Hello? Yes, this is her... Oh, o-oh god, y-yes I'll be there as soon as possible." The cheer in mommy's voice slowly faded as she hung the phone up. Quickly she grabs her purse and my hand, she drags me out of the house and down the sidewalk to the bus stop.

"Mommy? What's wrong?" I ask.

She ignores me and holds onto my hand tight as we wait for the bus, something bad must have happened. When a bus pulls up, mommy drags me up the steps and shakily hands the driver our last five dollar bill. He smiles and tips his hat to us, I return his nod and squeak as mommy pulls me down the aisle. We sit in the back away from everyone else, I look up at her and pull on her shirt sleeve. "Mommy? Where are we going?" I ask again. She looks down at me with tear-filled eyes and shakes her head.

After we rode on the bus for awhile, mommy called for the driver to stop once we got into the city. She stands up and pulls me up with her, I stumble down the aisle trailing behind her. We walk into this big building, many people in blue uniforms stare at us as we walk down the halls of the building. Mommy stops in front of a door with a glass window, I squint and try to read the words on the glass, but I can't. "Ashlyn... sweetheart, I want you to sit in one of the chairs behind us and don't move okay?" Mommy's voice sounds broken and strained. I nod and climb up into one of the chairs near the wall. I watch silently as mommy walks into the room beyond the door with the glass window.

A few minutes later after mommy went into the room, she began to scream as if she were in pain. I shoot up from my chair and push the door open, I run inside and find a man in uniform comforting her. "Mommy? What happened?" I ask as I run over to be by her side. Her sobbing and screaming never stopped, it didn't stop after daddy's funeral, and it didn't stop in the future.

Today was my birthday, mommy said we were going to celebrate it. I'll be turning eight today. When I saw my cake I was a little disappointed. Sitting on the kitchen table was a single Twinkie with a white candle sticking out from it, I frown at the pathetic little thing. "I'm sorry we couldn't afford to get you a better cake sweetheart, mommy promises she'll get you a big cake next time." She says as she pulls out my chair for me. I nod and climb up into the chair, she lights the candle and begins to sing happy birthday to me. I smile and blow out the candle, I already know my wish. My wish is for my mommy to be happy again.

I've made a new friend, but she's not like an ordinary friend, no. She's a friend inside my head, one that only I can hear. She talks to me and comforts me when mommy is one of her bad moods, she says mommy is an addict to something called heroin. "Adria? What's heroin?" I ask as I draw in an old notebook I found in the kitchen. Adria says that heroin, is a bad thing that adults do to feel happy, but that doesn't make any sense because mommy is never happy. My wish didn't come true, it's been months since daddy was murdered, that's what mommy said had happened. She said that daddy was stabbed. Mommy's sadness and pain only grew, she started being mean to me like how daddy used to be. There was never food in the house anymore, last night I had to look through the neighbor's trash for something to eat. I hate doing that, sometimes I don't have to do that though because mommy will leave food lying around sometimes.

Mommy has been bringing strange men home, they always come at night and leave in the morning. I watch them through the pantry door, that's where I hide whenever I see them. I wince when my stomach begins to growl with hunger, I push my notebook away and quietly sneak out of my room and into the living room. Mommy is asleep on the couch, on the table lies a half-eaten sandwich. I pick it up and take a small bite, I scrunch my face up in disgust and spit the food out. It tastes really bad, I put the sandwich down and sit on the floor in front of the couch. Gently I take mommy's hand in mine, I shudder at the coolness. I squeeze her hand and lay my head by her side, "Don't worry mommy... I'll keep you warm."